World of the Dead
by Spaceman727
Summary: (Contains strong violence, language and sex references) Takashi Komuro and his group arrive at the shopping mall to find all of the survivors once there dead, except for fellow student at Fujimi High School: Tatsuzo Euikon (OC). His haunted past emerges as the group and the new addition struggle to survive in the new world they are faced with.
1. Mall of the Dead

**NB: This story takes place directly after the events shown in the Anime.**

I was hopeless. I thought the mall would have saved me, but it was my downfall. I opened the chamber on my pistol. One bullet left. Nothing was coming for me, but my machete was broken and I was alone. Hopeless. The sun was rising; I watched the orange glow of the star as it rose above the horizon. I pulled the hammer back and held the gun to my head. I couldn't even dispatch myself with honour. I saw a group of others coming past, a tall skinny boy with dark brown hair leading the group. I saw them react as they noticed me surrounded by the corpses of the living dead, finally dead for good. A chubby boy with a flop of brown hair covering part of his face and glasses was holding hands with a little pink haired girl with a small dog at her side. He turned her away from me into his chest. There were three other girls, a rather well endowed blonde woman, a pink haired girl with glasses and a girl with light brown hair holding hands with the taller boy. The taller boy let go of the girl's hand and approached me.

"Hey! You! What do you think you're doing?" He said in Japanese.

"I'm helping you all." I replied, stuttering a little. My Japanese was rusty, as I'd been thinking in Korean a lot recently, trying to keep the language of my ancestors alive.

"How is this helping?" He asked.

"I've got one bullet, no supplies, no group to look after and nothing to live for. I'm sorry the girl had to see this. I'll wait for you to get her out of sight."

"You still want to go through with this?"

"What else do I have?! You have no idea if you can trust me and only my word for it. No point in giving me your supplies to help. I'm alone and if it saves even one of your lives, it's probably more worthwhile. Helping me out is just prolonging the inevitable. Plus, it's one less zombie to kill." I looked into his eyes as I said this.

"We call those things Them... Well, if you're sure. Just wait until Alice and the girls are out of sight." He sighed. I could see that my lack of the will to live was getting to him.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to do this either, but I have nothing else."

I was trembling. He could see that. I dropped the gun, ensuring the safety was off and the hammer was still pulled back.

"What's your name?" He asked me.

"Tatsuzo Euikon. Yourself?"

"Takashi Komuro"

I smiled at him.

"Thank you, Takashi."

I watched them continue walking.

"Is he going to be ok?" I heard the little girl ask, worriedly as they passed close by. I felt her eyes fall upon me, half filled with tears from seeing me earlier.

It was difficult not to weep, but I held myself together.

"I'll be fine, Takashi helped me." I said to her with a friendly smile. She didn't look convinced.

A girl in a long skirt, with dark violet hair and a sword entered. She seemed familiar.

"Wait up! We're all clear!" She said, panting slightly. She bolted towards the group. As the pile of "Them" around me shifted into her view, she approached me cautiously. Then she recognised me.

"No way!" she exclaimed

"Saeko Busujima?" I inquired, realising who she was

"What are you doing?"

"Finishing it."

"Why?"

"Because I have nothing else. No group, no supplies. Just this one last bullet."

She hugged me close.

"Not anymore. I'm with the others. I can't believe they'd leave you like this!" She said.

"They didn't. Not consciously. How could they have trusted me enough to take me in? We've all made that mistake now. I know I have. And I've paid the price several times over..."

"Let me talk to the others. Don't go anywhere." She eyed my gun.

I sighed and handed it to her. But not before etching a triangle into the grip with a broken shard of rusted metal from what was once my machete.

She ran to catch up to the others. They all started to come back to me.

Saeko spoke to them. I could see them all, but they were just out of earshot. I watched them all discuss and eventually reach an agreement.

Takashi and Saeko approached me.

"You can come with us. We have some introductions to make then."

I walked up to the rest of the group.

"Hi, I'm Tatsuzo Euikon" I said.

"Kohta Hirano" The chubby boy said, pushing his glasses up and extending his arm. I shook his hand.

"Rei Miyamoto" The light brown haired girl said with a smile.

"Dr. Shizuka Marikawa" The blonde woman said, looking off in another direction.

"Saya Takagi" The pink haired girl said.

"And yes, that is the Takagi family you're thinking of."

"Oh, it's an honour, Lady Saya." I said, smiling. She blushed a little and I saw Kohta shoot me a jealous look. I walked past him to approach the little girl and the dog.

"Sorry. Just trying to make a good impression." I whispered to Kohta as I passed. He seemed to relax again.

I crouched slightly and petted the small white dog.

"That's Zeke." Alice said.

Zeke barked happily.

"I'm Alice Maresato. Are you going to help look after me?" She asked.

I looked back at the others who only smiled warmly. I looked back to Alice.

"Yes, I suppose I am." I grinned and ruffled her hair a little.

"Any friend of Saeko's I call my big brother or sister." She replicated my grin, only even larger. I stood up again.

I shook Takashi's hand.

"Saeko Busujima. Pleasure to meet you." Saeko said, jokingly. I made an effort to awkwardly extend my hand to play along with her. She giggled and hugged me again.

"He was always my rival in Kendo Club at school. Only one who could keep up with me." She smiled, arm still around me.

"Being closest to your skill level and keeping up with you are two very different things. I could never keep up with you." I clarified.

"Stop being so modest!" She said.

"I wouldn't be if the only person I could never keep up with wasn't right here! Then I could say whatever I wanted!"

Rei laughed at that.

"You're funny. I like boys who are funny." She said.

"That's a good start then. I like to make a good impression."

"Wait... You were at our school?" Takagi asked.

"Yeah. Don't worry about it. Nobody ever really noticed me unless I was carrying a wooden sword." My eyes fell upon Saeko as I said this.

"Oh! You're the kid who had all the back problems!" Dr. Marikawa said.

"Yeah. I need to get some medicine while we're here actually. It's not like there are a bunch of chiropractors around right now..."

"We didn't see you at the school when all this happened." Takagi said.

"Yeah. I was seeing my chiropractor then. He went into another room for a minute and came back as one of Them as you say."

"Oh. That's why you didn't answer when I called you then." Saeko said.

"Yeah. Well, it's nice to introduce myself, but can't we do this while we go do what we need to? I'm sure there's a lot to get."

Everyone nodded.


	2. Going Shopping

"So, what do we need?" Takashi asked.

"Food, ammunition, water, first aid stuff, medicine for Tatsuzo's back and dog food for Zeke." Saya answered.

"We can make leisure stops while we're here too, right? I'm sure everyone would like some clean clothes, and word is everything's on sale." I said.

"Sure." Takashi said with a smile.

"I like the way he thinks already." Rei said.

"I'm an ex-Psychology student. I guess I just realised that doing things for fun in this new world often gets overlooked." I said.

They all nodded and mumbled their agreements.

I massaged my right shoulder with my left hand and grimaced slightly.

"I really need that medicine. I think there's a drugstore nearby." I said.

"I'll go with him. The rest of you go get the food and water. We'll meet you in the grocery store." Saeko said.

"It should be clear. I drew all of Them out earlier. I checked." I said to calm their worried looks.

Hirano gave me four extra bullets for the pistol.

"In case you run into trouble." He said.

"I'll take point." Saeko said.

"Ok. But stay close." I said.

"You're always so protective over me."

"I'm sorry. You're all I've got now. So you're going to have to get used to it. My family's dead."

Saeko gasped.

"I... I'm sorry." She said.

I didn't say anything.

"There it is!" I said, pointing at the store.

Saeko drew her sword.

I gasped when I recognised it.

"Is that...?"

"Yes. I believe so."

Saeko slowly approached the front of the drugstore and smacked the handle of the sword on a trashcan just by the entrance. Two of Them approached. Saeko's deep blue eyes narrowed. She took two delicate steps forwards and twirled around, bringing her sword down in an arc. The head of one of Them clattered to the floor with a gush of blood. The other one lost its leg and fell to the floor. Saeko calmly stabbed the sword into its head.

"That should be it. Seems pretty quiet." She said.

"It is now!" I exclaimed.

She and I walked into the store together. The shelves were barren.

"We'll need the key. Should be behind the counter." I said.

I vaulted over the counter and searched for the key. I found it hidden under a bloodstained family photo. I recognised the man in the photo as one of Them I had killed earlier. I moved the picture and took the small silver key. I used it on every drawer in the prescription only section.

I pulled every drawer out, searching for the medicines and the strongest painkillers I could find as well as anything else I could find that I thought might help Dr. Marikawa and the rest of the group. I found the ointment I needed. I grabbed all they had of it and took the strongest painkillers I could find, several other painkillers with more general purposes and some sleeping aids. I'd been really struggling recently. And it wasn't just with the arrival of Them. I hadn't slept well in months. I took as much as the store had. I popped one of the containers with some very strong painkillers my doctor told me to use if things got unbearable. I was practically hunched over with the pain right now, so I figured that I qualified.

"I'll put the ointment on when we find somewhere to rest." I said, grimacing with the pain still. I hadn't had any water to drink in about a day, so swallowing was almost as painful as my back. I flinched again as I swallowed the painkiller. I was still tense from the pain, but I knew I'd find relief once the pill took effect.

"Let's go grocery shopping!" I said.

Saeko gave me a small smile and the pain I was experiencing fell away for that brief second.

We walked through the bloodstained hallway of the mall to find the general store. We heard their laughter and exclamations as they found luxuries they hadn't seen in a while. I heard Alice scream as we approached the entrance. I instinctively reached for my pistol, but I paid closer attention and noticed she was giggling too.

I saw Rei pushing Alice in the shopping cart as fast as she could. Alice was cuddling a teddy bear she'd found somewhere within the large store. As I entered through the only manual push door, I saw the scale of the store for real now. I knew it was big, but this place was a haven. There was everything you could dream of in the long aisles.

Alice caught sight of me first.

"Hey, Tatsuzo! Look what I found!" She exclaimed, brandishing the teddy bear.

"Aww, he's cute. What's his name?" I asked her, as I got further into the store.

"Jonah." She said.

"Oh, that's an American name! I have a cousin called Jonah!" I said.

"Where does he live?" She asked.

"California. It's always nice and sunny there. And sometimes you can see famous actors."

"Have you seen anyone famous there?"

"Yeah, I saw my favourite band there. I got to talk to them for a while!"

"Were they nice? I know people who have met famous people who aren't very nice..."

"Yes, they were."

"That's good. If you like them, they should be nice to you."

"That's true. But sometimes being nice to people all the time is hard, isn't it?"

"Yeah..."

I laughed.

Rei stopped pushing Alice and went to try on some sunglasses. Saeko and I put the carrier bags full of painkillers and medicines into the cart full of food and water and a few luxuries.

Alice raised her arms towards me, dropping her teddy bear into the cart again. I picked her up.

She giggled and screamed as I lifted her over my head. I brought her back down to my height and held her. She wrapped her legs around me and I kept one arm latched onto her as we walked up and down the aisles. Saeko laughed warmly as she watched me do this.

"You're such a good big brother." Alice said, grinning.

This comment tore me apart. She wasn't the first little sister I've had. It was everything I could do to not break down in hysterical tears.

My little sister had died when this all started. I don't know how exactly, but I came home to find my mother, father and little sister turned. Part of me wanted to kill them, to release them from it. But I looked into my sister's eyes and saw the memories of me picking her up and idly chatting just as I was doing with Alice. I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I locked them in the house.

Saeko saw that I had gone to a dark place and averted my attention back to the present. I saw the look of knowing sorrow in her eyes as she realised what Alice's words had stirred in my mind.

"You have family from all over the world, don't you? Not just America." She prompted, her tone loving and warm in the same way I had been speaking to Alice all day.

"Oh, yes. I have family in America, Korea and Japan. I also have family that have moved from those places to Australia, England, China and Kenya."

"Wow! Have you visited them all?" Alice asked, fascinated.

"Yeah, mostly. But a couple of those times I was very young, so I don't remember much."

"Was it nice? Which was your favourite?"

"Well, Japan is my favourite. That's why I'm still here. I could move to any English speaking country or Korea if I wanted to. I'm fluent in English, Japanese and Korean! But outside of here, I'd probably want to go to Australia. The beaches there are so beautiful and peaceful."

"I like the beach! It's always beautiful and peaceful if you go when the weather's nice." Alice said.

"Me too. I love being in the water." Saeko said.

"So do I. I love diving underwater. It's like another world right underneath you. Maybe we should get some bathing suits when we go to the clothing store. I'd love to go swimming some day." I said.

"That's a good idea." Saeko said.

It seemed like everybody else heard me at that point.

"Yeah, that would be great!"

"We should go tomorrow. We need a break and we're close to the beach." Rei agreed.

When Rei said beach, she meant the small area of sand by the river. Being in inland Japan meant that was the closest to the beach as we got. We all knew what she'd meant regardless.

"Let's do it!"

"Takashi. You're the leader. What do you think?"

"I think we should. We just need to find a way to get there." Takashi said.

"We'll need a watch, too. Just in case." I said.

"I'll do it. I'm not comfortable taking my clothes off to swim. I just like sitting on the sand with my feet in the water." Hirano said.

"Oh, I thought we'd take it in shifts so everyone had a go in the water. But if you're happy to, that's fine. Just let me know if you want to go in for a bit, I'd be more than happy to switch if you change your mind." I said, smiling.

"Thanks. But I don't think I'll change my mind."

"Well, grab a suit just in case." I said, winking at him.

"Will do."

"Hey! Who made **you** the leader?!" Takagi asked, angrily.

"Me? Leader? I... No, I'm just trying to help. Leading a group on your own is difficult. It needs to be a joint effort. If I'm out of line, just let me know." I said, glancing at Takashi.

"Don't worry. He's just helping. Besides, I don't want to be the leader." Takashi said.

"Neither do I. But if everyone's okay with it, I'm happy to help out with that sort of stuff." I said. Everyone relaxed as I said this. Especially Takashi. Alice had been a little worried at the momentary tension as she squirmed in my arms.

"There's something I wanted to ask you." Rei said.

"Go ahead." I invited.

"You got that gun from a dead policeman, right?" She asked, worried.

"Yeah."

"Can you tell me what he looked like? My father's a policeman. I just want to be sure."

"Sure. My memory is a little hazy. He was fairly short, middle aged, bald and had a beard." I described. Rei sighed with relief. I wish I could have known that same relief. We continued getting supplies in the store for a little longer. I pushed the cart around at full speed with Alice inside, screaming and laughing while everyone finished getting what they needed.

"We're gonna have to keep this cart. Got a lot to carry, and I don't suppose we have vehicles anymore." I said.

"Yay! More pushing!" Alice celebrated.

"Clothes store now, right?" I asked.

"Yeah!" The girls said in unison, skipping ahead.

Kohta, Takashi and myself were behind pushing the cart full of supplies and Zeke snuffling inside the carrier bags full of medicine while Saeko and Shizuka held Alice's hands on either side.

We entered the clothing store. It was a huge place with two floors and a ton of changing rooms. Everyone looked at Takashi for what to do next. He sighed and deferred to me, obviously fed up of calling the shots for a while.

"Kohta, stay here with a loaded gun and our supplies. Look after Alice." I ordered. He jumped and saluted sarcastically.

"Yes, sir!" He shouted.

I cracked a crooked smile.

"Saeko and Shizuka. Check the bottom floor changing rooms, and then move on to the main part of the bottom floor to help Takagi and Zeke. Takashi and I will look up top." I coordinated. Takashi and I bolted up the escalator, ready to smash some heads. I grabbed a mannequin and swung at one of Them wandering up there. I could hear fighting downstairs, but no gunshots, which I took as a positive sign. It fell and I smashed its head with the base of the mannequin. I nearly slipped on the blood and smashed a few shards of skull under my shoes. I held my balance and swung at another one. The mannequin broke and bits of plastic embedded themselves in the one I was trying to kill. The force didn't knock it over. I was weaponless. Takashi came to me and smashed it repeatedly with his shotgun.

We were clear upstairs. We ran back down to check on Kota and the girls. I saw Saeko gracefully finish one more of Them off as it approached Takagi. Zeke barked, seemingly appreciative.

"Is that it?" I asked.

"Yeah. That's it." Takagi said as she got up and corrected her skirt.

"We need to get you a sword." Saeko said.

"Yeah. Definitely. Not like it's going to be easy to find, though." I agreed, not wanting to have another encounter like I'd just had.

"Let's shop!" Shizuka exclaimed, giggling. Everyone smiled. The men's department was on the upper floor. Takashi, Hirano and I walked upstairs again.

"Better leave them to it." I said.

"You know we're supposed to see them in the changing rooms right?" Hirano said.

"No, it's up to them what and when we see whatever it is we end up seeing. Besides, I've been on the wrong end of Saeko with a wooden blade. Now she's got the real deal, I really don't want to risk it." I said. Takashi and Hirano laughed. As we began to search for some fresh clothes, Takashi brought me to one side.

"Thank you for helping me out with all this. I really don't want to be the leader. I'm glad I found you." He said.

"Well, thanks. But I'm not taking over leadership. You're already the leader to them. Whenever you need to defer to me, I'll be here to give ideas and organise, but I'm not a leader. I'm not strong enough. They've relied on you for a lot, I can tell by the way they all look at you. I can't take the responsibility away from you, and I don't want to. But I can help with the weight of leadership." I said.

"Ok. That's exactly what I need. I wish we'd found you earlier." He went off to search through some clothes. I grabbed two pairs of jeans, a single red collared shirt when I wanted to put some effort into my appearance and five T-shirts with designs I liked or promoting a band or music artist I used to enjoy. With the ability to listen to music gone, I felt like it was all I could do. It had once meant a lot to me, an escape from the moments where I was living in a cruel, uncaring world that had turned its back on me. That was not always the case, I had led a mostly happy life before, but I'd always felt like the outsider. I'd also taken several pairs of comfortable socks, some multipacks of fresh underwear and some shoes for practical purposes. One pair of shoes for comfort when walking day-to-day, and a pair of boots for hiking. I had also taken two hoodies, one black and one blue and a dark blue baseball cap with a dragon on the front. We had taken a second shopping cart for all of the clothes we would inevitably end up with, but we couldn't take it up the broken escalator. I was struggling and staggering, arms full of clothes. I overheard the girls talking while I continued looking at waterproof coats and warm jackets for winter. They were saying things like

"Oh, this is cute!" and I heard Rei tease Saeko, saying

"Ooh, that's sexy! I bet Tatsuzo will like seeing you in that..."

Saeko tried to defend herself, but just mumbled in weak protest and resigned. I wasn't sure what her weary resignation to that comment really meant, but I was curious to find out. I picked out a pair of plain black swimming trunks with "Harmony" written in Kanji down the right leg for our beach trip.

The other guys came back wearing new stuff. Takashi was wearing a plain black T-shirt and some dark blue jeans. Hirano was wearing a checked collared shirt and smart black trousers. He'd also found a new pair of glasses and a pair of prescription aviator sunglasses. They were struggling with the clothes they weren't wearing as much as I was. I began to awkwardly shamble back down the escalator.

"Are you girls ready?" I called down.

"Nearly! We're in the changing rooms, come down and we'll show off what we've got." Rei called. I found the shopping cart and dumped the new clothes in with a sigh of relief.

"Don't show everything! Surprise us with the rest." I said.

"I hope we do. We got some makeup too." Rei said, sounding excited. Marikawa came out first. Wearing a white shirt, three of the top buttons undone and a dark blue skirt that hugged her legs. It was open on one side, which gave her mobility. Takagi came out next. She was wearing a hot pink tank top and tight black leggings. Alice followed her, wearing a small pink and black frilly dress with a bow in her hair. Rei emerged now, wearing a cream coloured tube top, revealing her midriff and a small light green skirt. Saeko finally revealed herself. Her fringe had been swept across her forehead instead of coming down the middle of her face now. She was wearing a deep red lipstick, a red top and a pleated black skirt. She looked stunning. I just about fell over at the sight of her.

"Wow... You all look amazing." I said. Hirano made a strange sound and started to get a nosebleed. Takashi nodded, speechless.

"Enough drooling. Let's go." Saeko said. I shook myself conscious and tried not to look at her too much. She noticed and giggled a little. We put the rest of our clothes in carrier bags and put them in the other cart. We put Zeke and Alice in the food and water cart from the first store. As we walked towards the exit, my eye fell upon a music store. I ran in.

"Just a minute! I'll catch up!" I called. I looked around and saw all of the vinyl on the walls, regretting that nobody would ever be able to hear it again. I grabbed an acoustic guitar and a case and strapped it to my back. I ran to catch up with the others.

"We need a place to rest." Takagi said.

"I know a place. A crazy ass friend of mine who didn't make it. No family and a bit of a weapons nut like our friend Hirano here. There's probably ammo and weapons there. It's about a block away." I suggested.

"Sounds good. Lead the way." Takashi said.


	3. Finding Sanctuary

The sun was hanging low in the sky now. It was just about dusk.

"Hey, aside from the ones in the mall we haven't seen any of Them in a long time." Saeko mused.

"Not any survivors either. There used to be a ton of survivors in the mall, but you saw what happened there. This place became a ghost town as soon as they came about. My group were the only ones who stayed, and you saw how that went." I said. Alice was cuddling Zeke and playing with her teddy bear, Jonah as I absently pushed her in the cart while we carried on down the street. I felt pretty relaxed. I wish I didn't, because that leads to dropping your guard. And that has horrible results in this new world. I shook myself alert and began scanning the surroundings. Alice idly chatted to Kohta. I heard him telling her something about the pistol I was using (The Smith & Wesson M37 Air Weight, apparently). I didn't know anything about it, except for that it could hold five bullets at once. I hung back and saw Takashi looking angrily at Hirano.

"I'll speak to him. And Alice. He can't keep promoting violence to her. I suppose you talking to him might cause an argument." I said, quietly. Takashi gave a small nod to show his agreement.

"Thank you."

"Here it is!" I exclaimed as we approached a small brick house with a slate roof.

"We can walk to the beach from here in the morning." Takashi remarked. Everyone cheered.

"Finally, we can leave this stuff for a while." I muttered to Saeko. She smirked a little. We left the carts outside, unable to take them up the small steps to the door but took their contents inside. I found the spare key my friend had told me about, just under the plant pot by the door. I quickly unlocked it and began throwing the bags being passed up to me into the entrance. I rested the guitar I'd taken against the wall of the hallway. When the carts were empty, I entered and drew my gun. I swept the place quickly. It was a small house with only two floors and only few rooms in each. It was totally clear, but I'd wanted to check just in case one of Them had stumbled inside or something. As I checked each room, I lit some candles to provide some decent light.

"It's clear!" I called out to the others. I closed the door and locked it once we were all in.

"We need to wash again, while we can." Saeko said.

"But with the EMP won't the water be cold? Surely the heating won't work anymore?" Rei asked, concerned.

"Probably, but cold water's better than none." Saya said.

"Let's go now, leave the boys to it." Shizuka said.

"Yeah, I haven't washed in a while." Alice said, pulling a disgusted face to imply that she smelled bad. The girls rushed around the bottom floor trying to find the bathroom. They flocked back and looked at me. I gave a small laugh and pointed upwards.

"First on the right." I said. They dashed up the stairs and Alice nearly slipped in her excitement. Zeke barked. I petted him behind the ear. He seemed to like it.

"Let's check for ammo and stuff." Kohta said, happily.

"His room's through here." I said. I suddenly tensed and grunted.

"Are you ok?" Takashi asked.

"Yeah. The painkiller I took earlier must have worn off. I'll sort it out later." I said, hunching over. We entered his room. The walls were painted an awful lime green colour. I winced at the pain shooting up my body and the assault on my eyes at the same time. I saw on the wall a rack of swords. A katana, tanto and wakizashi were sheathed and held on each rack. I took them down and drew each one to inspect them. The wakizashi was really poorly made. The tanto and katana were passable, however. I could use them at least until I found a real sword somewhere. But they'd break after just a short while.

"Jackpot!" I heard Kohta exclaim.

I turned to see him and Takashi crouched by a cabinet full of movies and video games on one side and on the other, a lot of ammunition, two silencers and a laser sight. The laser sight wouldn't work any more, of course, but Kota passed me one of the silencers. I fitted it onto my pistol and it worked.

"The other one might work with the sniper rifle." He suggested. He retrieved the rifle and tried to fit it.

"Seems tight, but it might work. We won't know until we try it." He said.

"Well, there's a lot of ammo at least. That must be a good sign." I said, hopefully. Kohta sorted through the boxes of ammunition. He set two piles, both fairly large. I looked at the largest pile.

"Is this the one of ammo we can take?" I asked.

"No."

I sighed.

"Still, what we've got is pretty good."

"True"

Kohta then averted his attention to the video games and movies.

"Shame we don't have electricity any more. We could have had a damned good night otherwise." He said, wistfully.

"Yeah, it was always fun to get a few friends over and play a few video games, maybe watch some trashy movies." I agreed.

"Hey, we can still have some fun." Takashi said, leaving and searching through one of the carrier bags. He returned into the room with three beers. Kohta looked at him, surprised.

"Tatsuzo's right. We need to have some fun sometimes." Takashi said.

"Why not? I'm of legal drinking age and it's not like anybody is going to stop us." I agreed.

"I've just... Never tried it." Kohta said.

"Aww. Afraid of drinking too much?" I goaded.

"Yeah, actually. If it gets to all of us, our reactions will be worse and we'll end up dropping our guard or making a mistake." Kota argued.

"You're right. Just a few won't do that, though. Trust me, none of us will let that happen. I wouldn't want to let the girls down like that." I said, trying to calm him.

"Okay. Just one or two." Kohta said nervously, as though trying to reason with himself. Takashi opened them with a bottle opener he found in the kitchen area. He smiled as we all took one, clinked the necks of the bottles together and sipped.

"That's damn good. And we're off to the beach tomorrow. Despite everything that's happened recently, I'm feeling good. Living exclusively in this moment, life would be pretty good." I said, happily. I took another swig. I felt pretty satisfied. I was usually so tense and disciplined; it felt nice to let that go for a while. I put my beer down on the bedside table and got up to grab my guitar. I played a little, hesitating between notes to tune the strings. I began to play an old American song I enjoyed.

"This is the end, beautiful friend..." I crooned.

"Hey! I know this song! It was in Apocalypse Now!" Kohta said. I nodded and kept playing. My low voice didn't allow me to sing many songs, but this was one of them. I heard the girls come back downstairs.

"What's that?" Shizuka asked.

"Tatsuzo's playing a song." Kohta explained, sipping at his beer again. I could tell he was enjoying himself.

The girls came into the room. They were all wearing looser, comfortable clothes for nightwear. Saeko was wearing a baggy T-shirt and some pyjama shorts, which showed her long legs off pretty well. Rei got up for a minute and came back with some pots and pans and some wooden spoons and began to softly clatter some percussion to accompany me. Rei didn't know the actual song, but as far as I could remember, her improvised percussion fit pretty well. She took Alice and handed her a spoon to clatter against one of the pans at a constant rhythm. She beamed at me, proud that she was helping me with this musical performance. The last note rang out on my guitar. Everyone was silent. I grabbed my beer and took another sip. Saeko gave a slightly disapproving look at this. I waited a while, deciding if I should play another song and what I should play. I took the guitar again and began playing another song one that everyone knew. The gentle clattering of the pans fitted really well this time, but it was unfortunate that we didn't have actual percussion to go along with the song. Saeko began to relax into it again. It was evident she didn't approve of the alcohol, and this stopped me enjoying myself so much. I decided not to have another tonight. I didn't want to selfishly sacrifice her happiness for the sake of my own. I finished the song and the beer. I put the guitar back in the case and petted Zeke as he bumped into me. He seemed content, wagging his tail slowly. I smiled at him.

"Kohta, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked.

"Sure." He replied. I led him upstairs.

"Look, this is about Alice." I said.

"What do you mean?" His face fell.

"You talking to her about the guns all the time."

"You've only seen it once. How do you know?"

"I spoke to Takashi."

"She's going to need to know this stuff sooner or later."

"I know, but now is not the time. She's young and impressionable, I don't want her to have a glorified view of violence."

"In this world she needs it!"

"That's not what this is about. She's not ready for that yet. Someday we might not be around to protect her anymore. I know that. But we have to shield her from that while we can. She shouldn't look at this stuff in a positive light. It's a necessity. Every time we kill one of Them we kill a piece of ourselves. That's the way it has to be. That's what keeps us human and not just another monster excluding the flesh eating things out there."

"I understand. But I think it's a little hypocritical for you to say this about being a good role model for Alice when you're drinking alcohol in front of her."

This got to me a little. And my mind kept lingering on the look Saeko gave me. It made a little more sense now.

"As long as we have an understanding. I won't do that in front of her again either." I said.

"I notice you're not saying you won't drink." Kohta noted.

"That's right. I can do what I want. It doesn't affect anyone but me. I think I've earned the right to be a little self destructive." I said. Kohta gave me a frustrated look and stormed off. I understood, and was beginning to feel like a bit of an asshole. I walked back down the stairs and approached Shizuka.

"Can you help me out?" I asked.

"What with?" She asked.

"The ointment for my back. I can't really do it myself." I said.

"I'll do it." Saeko said.

"Oh, ok. Can we get to it? It's been giving me some trouble." I said.

"Has the alcohol not helped?" Saeko grumbled as she got up to help me.

"I get it. I'm an asshole." I said apologetically.

"I feel bad for judging you though. I'm not perfect either." Saeko admitted, softening her voice and stance towards me. I grabbed a jar of the ointment.

"I've always been self destructive. I thought you would have seen that. You've always been able to read me like a book." I said.

"I never saw your darkness. Maybe I didn't want to. Until I couldn't avoid it, of course."

I realised what she was referring to.

_I was walking back home after school._

_"Hey, Tatsuzo! Wait up!" Saeko said. I ignored her and carried on. She saw me fumble with something out of my bag. She broke into a run and caught up with me to see a lit cigarette hanging from my mouth. She froze. I took a long drag and exhaled, making an effort to keep the smoke away from her. _

_"You caught me." I said, raising my hands in mock surrender. Tears welled up in her eyes._

_"You're all I've got. How could you do this to yourself?" She said. The disappointment in her voice was cutting. _

_"I'm self destructive." I mumbled apathetically, trying to shake her disappointment off by acting like it hadn't got to me. _

_"Why that?" She asked. I stopped. Dropped the cigarette to the ground._

_"I don't need to smoke. I want to." I said._

_"Why?" She asked again. I rolled the sleeves of my shirt up. A crisscross pattern of self-inflicted cuts ran up both of my arms._

_"Because it's better than that!" I shouted, holding back tears. She was shocked. She turned away from me and walked in a different direction. It would take her an extra half hour to get home that way, but she didn't care. As long as it meant she was away from me. We all have a monster within. She had seen mine._

She looked at my arms. I reluctantly rolled my sleeves up again. She ran the tips of her fingers across the scars that covered most of my arm. There were a few fresh cuts. She looked up at me.

"You've seen my monster before. You know I can't fight it. God knows I've tried. Whatever yours is, I know you can't either." I said.

"Let's just get this done."

I led her up to the room. She pulled my shirt off and ran her hands over my body and led me to the bed. She took the ointment and began to rub it into my shoulders. I relaxed a little as the pain there melted away. Feeling her hands gently work against my strained muscles was pure bliss. She laid me down and continued to work the ointment into the rest of my back slowly and with a hint of sensuality. I was more at peace than I had been in any chiropractic session. The time fell away and she was finished before I knew it. She moved off from sitting on top of me and continued brushing her fingers against my skin. I sat up and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you." I whispered in her ear. I planted another kiss on her lips. She moved away.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"I... No. Y-yes." She stuttered.

"What is it?"

"I don't know. I've been waiting for that for years. I wanted you to, but... There's Takashi too." She confessed.

"...Oh."

"Nothing happened. Well, we kissed once. I don't know where I want any of it to go right now."

I pulled my shirt on and left the room.

I walked back down the stairs and grabbed another beer. Forsaking my promise to myself, but I needed it. I opened the door and stood outside drinking the beer at a fast pace. I shook as I opened one of the cigarette packets I had taken from the store. I grabbed the lighter and shakily brought it up to the tip of the cigarette. I took a large drag and looked outside at the destroyed city that surrounded me. I blew out the smoke almost defiantly. It felt like sticking my middle finger up at the world and whatever cruel God inflicted all of this upon the planet. Saeko followed me out.

"I knew it. The slightest excuse and you're right back at it." She said. I ignored her and exhaled another lungful of smoke. I could practically feel the smoke fill my lungs with dirt. She stood outside with me, waiting until I had finished the cigarette.

"Just give me some time to figure this out." She reasoned.

"I've been here before. I'm not doing it again. Just figure it out and stay away until you do. I'm not getting involved." I said. I heard her sob slightly. I necked the rest of the beer and led her back inside.

I walked into the room the others were waiting in.

"Alice is tired, but she's refusing to go to bed until you take her." Takashi said. I picked Alice up and carried her to the room I had taken for myself.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing. What made you think something was wrong?" I asked, putting on an air of happiness.

"I don't know. Just a feeling."

"I'm ok. But you should trust those feelings with this sort of thing. It's a good thing to learn."

"Ok. Why did you bring me here?"

"I was just showing you where I'd be sleeping in case you needed me. Come on, you." I said, picking her up again. I took her to the room next door and laid her in the bed.

"Are you good to sleep now?" I asked.

"Yeah." She said, sleepily.

"Goodnight." I said, warmly.

I went back down the stairs and entered the room the others were in. Saeko was sat in the far corner, looking upset. A tipsy Rei was cuddling Takashi. Shizuka was sipping at a glass of wine she had. The bottle was in Rei's hand, mostly empty. I picked my guitar up and began playing again. The slightly drunk Rei recognised it first.

"Radiohead!" She exclaimed, clapping excitedly.

"Yep." I confirmed and kept playing.

"Rows of houses all bearing down on me..." I began to sing in a mumbling, defeated tone, replicating the song. Kohta was spacing out, sat next to me. He hadn't handled the alcohol too well. I lost myself in the music, playing the next song, and the next one over and over. Mostly music from America and England. But I tried to keep it to stuff that everyone would recognise. After a while I realised everyone had lost interest in what I was playing, which was liberating. I then proceeded to play whatever the hell I wanted and had a damn good time doing it. I watched Saeko give wistful looks at Takashi as he showed his affections to Rei. I felt bad for her. Now she was stuck with me. I walked outside with another beer and cigarette. I downed the beer and puffed through the cigarette in record time. I threw the empty bottle into the street. It felt freeing to hear it smash against the concrete and know that nobody gave a shit. I lit another cigarette. The last of the night, I decided. This time I savoured it. Saeko joined me, uninvited once again.

"Hurts doesn't it?" I said, motioning through the window at Takashi and Rei.

"That was the day to day for me. Feeling like you do now. I thought I was done with it." I added, flicking the unfinished cigarette to the street. I opened the door again.

"Goodnight." I said. I closed the door and walked up to the room.

I said my goodnights to everyone in my dead friend's bedroom and went upstairs for the last time. I entered my room and found Alice there, awake.

"What are you doing up?" I asked.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Come on, let's get you back in bed." I said, hoisting her up. I walked her back into her room and into her bed. She snuggled into the blanket but still seemed restless. I got into her bed and put my arms around her and she settled down a little. I waited there a while. My biological sister used to do the exact same thing when she was younger. I tried not to think about that. I wasn't there long before she was sound asleep. I went back into my room and went to sleep quickly. The alcohol and medication had probably helped.


	4. Hitting the Beach

I woke up as sunlight began to seep into my room. I walked across the hall into the bathroom, taking some clean clothes with me. I entered the shower, finding the cold water refreshing. I got out, dried myself and got dressed putting the swimming trunks on in place of underwear. I heard Kohta groan. I laughed to myself and grabbed a paracetamol out of one of the bags from the drugstore.

"Here. You'll feel better. Go take a shower. The cold water will help." I advised, handing Kohta the pill. He thanked me and walked up the stairs to the bathroom.

"I made sushi for our trip to the beach!" Saeko smiled. She seemed to be in a good mood.

"Awesome! You always make the best sushi." I beamed. She looked surprised at this turn in behaviour. In truth, I hadn't changed my mood. I was simply resolving to be different outwardly. This issue was between she and I. No need to drag the others into it. I didn't even begrudge Takashi in this situation. The best man would win, and I knew I was not the best man. I'd face this with a smile, that would be the best way to defy all of this. Alice came down to the kitchen area and rubbed her eyes. I gave her a quick hug.

"Go get dressed. Get your bathing suit on underneath." I said. Making an effort to not be commanding.

I picked my guitar up and began to pack the carrier bags of things we had taken in the mall back into the carts.

"The beach is about a ten minute walk. We can go to the police station first and stop by the beach for a few hours when we know where your dad is." I said to Rei as she rubbed her aching temples.

"Sounds good. Oww, I really shouldn't have had that much to drink last night. Did I do anything embarrassing?" She asked.

"You kept talking about how Takashi was the best and singing badly with the songs I was playing. So nothing particularly bad, no."

"Ugh. Why?"

"Cause Takashi's obviously the best. You spent most of the night arguing your case because I kept screwing with you."

"Why did you encourage me?"

"I just like messing with drunk people. I know: I'm an asshole."

"You're not an asshole. Why would you call yourself an asshole?"

"No, the asshole thing was in regard to my habit of eating babies." I joked. She laughed. And then moaned.

"Don't make me laugh. It hurts my head." I handed her a paracetamol too. She swallowed it and thanked me. Everyone else left the house. Alice was holding hands with Shizuka who led her as they walked.

"So, before we go to the beach we have to stop at the police station. Rei's father might be there, or at least we'd some kind of indication as to where he might be. Once we know our next destination we'll spend some time resting at the beach. I know we all want to have fun, but it's important we do this before anything else." Takashi said. Everyone acknowledged what had been said and we continued on.

Saeko rushed to me.

"I want to talk about last night." She said

"I don't." I snapped.

"I'm sorry. I understand that this could damage your pride." She said

"My pride?! You know the real me, do you think this has anything to do with pride?! The last of my pride slipped away and began to turn into self hatred about the same time I became aware of my own existence."

"Sorry"

"For God's sake, don't be sorry. It's not your fault. But if this is what it's going to be, I'm not sure if it's worth waiting to hear what I already know you've decided. I'm trying very hard not to be bitter or angry, and that might be hard for a while. But I'll get there."

"What do you mean I've already decided?"

"Isn't it obvious? Everyone knows it but you. I can see it in your eyes."

"I don't think you can. I haven't decided. You just like to think that you can read me."

"All I know is, he's the better man anyway."

"Maybe I don't deserve the better man. Maybe I don't even want him."

"Something inside you must want him, otherwise this wouldn't be happening. So this is just a matter of you thinking you don't deserve him. And that makes me the asshole that you think you deserve even though you don't want me at all. Why would you think that?"

"Because of my monster."

"And what exactly is that?"

"I was walking back from school one day, and this man came out of nowhere. He tried to attack me. I let him at first, acting helpless when I wasn't. I had my training sword with me. I fought back. Shattered his collarbone and broke his ankle, I think. I enjoyed doing it. Having an enemy that I didn't have to question was a joy."

"So, that means that instead of the man you want you're stuck with this self destructive asshole."

"No. I didn't think I deserved anyone. I had a crush on you for a very long time. I never told you because I was afraid you were too good for me."

"And when you saw me that day you realised I was just as low as you thought of yourself."

"Well, when you put it like that..."

"That's exactly what it was though. And I don't see that side of you the way you do. There may be some sadism behind it, but we're all guilty of that every once in a while. You were happy to have an unquestioned enemy because you felt like you had a purpose. You didn't have to stop and consider this a grey area. You knew what you had to do and you knew you could do it. I know you, you found more joy in knowing you could do what you had to than you did in actually harming him."

"Don't tell me what I thought! I did enjoy hurting him. That's what I found the pleasure in." She snapped. I didn't say anything.

"Takashi and I were split from the main group a few days ago. I told him about this just as I was ready to give up on life. He accepted me and made himself my reason to live. I would have taken my own life without him. Just like you."

"Well, whatever the case is. To me it seems like we have two sides of the same monster inside us."

"Yeah. Yours is inwardly sadistic and mine is outwards."

"It doesn't make a difference, Saeko."

"Why not?"

"Because it's the same damn thing either way. Besides, you can keep yours under control. I know where this ends for me. And it terrifies me. I was one step away from the end this time yesterday. And the truth is, I kind of enjoyed it."

"So you're saying you would have been happier if I'd just left you to it?"

"No. But part of me would have been satisfied. The same part of you that would have found satisfaction in leaving me to it."

Saeko stiffened and went pale. The look in her eyes showed me that what I had said was true. And the look I gave her showed that I meant it.

"What are you two talking about?" Rei teased unable to hear us, we'd been sharing a different sort of intimate moment. Takashi gave a slightly defeated look at Saeko, who mirrored his look over her shoulder at him.

"You don't have to stay up here. Go back to them if you want." I said to Saeko.

"Oh, so now you want rid of me?!" She shouted, angrily.

"No. You want rid of me."

"I don't know what I want anymore." We walked the rest of the way to the police station wordlessly.

When we arrived I drew my new katana. There were several of Them outside the police station. Saeko drew her sword too.

"Don't shoot if you can help it. It'll just attract more." I said. The others drew their weapons, ready to fight. I charged first, slicing fluidly and quickly across the arms and legs of one of Them. It fell and I slashed upwards, beheading it and bringing the sword down slightly to behead the one next to it too. Saeko came to my side, slicing at Them with a grace and control I could never quite equal. But there was something I had that Saeko didn't: a little more strength behind my sword's blows. I knocked Them to the floor with brutish strength, despite not being particularly muscular. Saeko trailed behind me, twirling and spinning with her sword flying through the air in tight arcs to finish the ones I left on the ground. We cleared Them up quickly. Except for one. A SWAT officer in full riot gear was stood right by the door. He was one of Them.

"Great." I said, sarcastically.

Takashi clubbed at it with his shotgun. It fell to the floor but hadn't sustained any actual damage. The others stayed back, hoping to avoid using their guns. I pulled at the helmet it was wearing, it flailed its arms at me and groaned, but I got the helmet off. I then stabbed it with my katana. Kota checked the weapons that the officer had on him. He handed a pistol to Saeko and told her what it was and how to use it. I paid close attention to his information. He also found a leg holster for the pistol, which he gave to her.

The outside was clear now, but I had a feeling there would be at least a few of Them inside.

"Rei and Kohta, come with us. Saya and Shizuka, stay out here with Alice and Zeke and protect the supplies." Takashi said. I opened the entrance door to meet with one of Them right in my face. I stabbed my katana through its head. I pulled away and let it drop. I took a few steps in and slashed horizontally at around head height, taking the tops of the heads off two of Them. Saeko barged past me and finished another of Them off with a stab to the back of its head. Her sword split through the top of its skull with ease and she sliced upwards through the torso of another one of Them. The place was clear, there were none of Them left any more. I looked at the pair I had killed and found a bloodstained photo of the two of them as humans. They had been a couple. Takashi picked up on this observation too.

"At least they died together." He said, solemnly. I nodded in agreement.

"Not much consolation though, is it? None of this should be happening in the first place." I said.

"Kohta and Tatsuzo go into the armory and evidence room, see what you can find." He ordered. I opened the armory door with my katana drawn. None of Them were in there. Kota grabbed more ammunition and a small submachine gun that he told me was an MP5. I studied the rest of the weapons there and looked at him quizzically.

"The rest of it is worse equipment than we've got." He said. I nodded again. He left and checked the evidence room. He found a shotgun.

"Benelli M4 Super 90." He said, handing it to me.

"Looks like this could do some damage!" I said with a smile as I felt the weight of it and slid the pump underneath the barrel. He gave me a quick run through of how to use the shotgun and showed me how to load it.

"This one holds eight shells at a time." He said. I exited the evidence room, slinging the shotgun across my back with the strap adjusted so it was tight. Saeko eyed the shotgun I was carrying. It seemed like me and Kohta returning dispersed some of the awkwardness between Takashi and the girls.

"Hey, take this. It's more your style." I said, handing Takashi the shotgun. Kohta looked at me quizzically.

"I can't use it. It would weigh me down." I said.

"Wait here then." He said. Slightly disappointed, he entered the armory again and found a pistol similar to the one he had given Saeko. He gave me a tutorial on how to use it and a holster, which I put on my waist.

Rei was still searching for evidence of her father. She stopped at a chalkboard.

"This is my father's writing!" She exclaimed. I read it; it said to go to Shintoko Third Elementary School for an evacuation.

"I didn't think they'd still be evacuating." I said, surprised.

"My mother works at that school." Takashi said.

"Well, let's go then. The beach can wait." I said.

"No. The evacuation is in three days. If my dad and Takashi's mother are safe there, then they'll be ok by the time we get there. We can still go to the beach." Rei said. Takashi smiled in agreement. This surprised me.

"Good. I was worried I'd made sushi for nothing." Saeko beamed. We exited the police station. Kota handed Saya the MP5 as she complained about how she felt useless in combat.

Everyone was in a good mood and I found it infectious. I took one of the carts and pushed it towards the beach. Rei took the other one.

"Five minute walk away from the beach." I declared. Alice cheered. The walk was short and uneventful. I was alone at the front of the group. I could hear the others chatting, but couldn't distinguish anything they were saying. I threw my shotgun in the cart and heard Zeke bark with alarm, popping his head up from in between the carrier bags.

"Sorry buddy, I forgot you were in there." I said, petting him. He nuzzled against my hand, prompting me to keep petting him as a pushed the cart. I was feeling very distracted. I couldn't stop thinking of Saeko. I could still taste her lips from last night, and it intoxicated me. A particular song came into my head, one that I was beginning to associate with her. I decided I'd play it on my guitar when we got to the beach. When we got to the sandy area that we'd called the beach I looked out across the water. The water from the river was very open and fairly deep. I pulled Zeke out of the cart. The girls had taken a towel for him with a dog bone motif on it. I smiled at him as he wagged his tail and stumbled around on the sand. I took my hoodie and T-shirt off and threw them in the cart with my shotgun. I then pulled my jeans off so I was down to the swimming trunks. I looked at the sun and approximated the time to be about 11 o'clock now. Everyone else was taking their clothes off too. Everyone except for Kohta. They all ran into the water. Rei screamed as she felt how cold the water was. Having only got about ankle deep in the water. Takashi tried to push Rei into the water.

"Help me out here!" He said to me. I ran to him and Rei, kicking up sand as I did so. He grabbed her by the arms and I took her legs. We swung her back and forth a couple of times making sure we wouldn't hurt her when we let go.

"On three." I said.

"Three... Two... One..." Takashi said and we both let go, slinging her forwards into the water. She squealed and hit the water with a splash. She surfaced again, hair soaked through and taking a darker brown colour now. Takashi jumped in after her. Alice skipped into the water, hesitating slightly when she felt how cold it was. I roared and chased after her. She screamed and ran in. Saeko, Shizuka and Saya ran in together. I ran forwards and jumped with a quick flip.

I broke through the surface of the water and gasped. Everyone was soaked and glaring at me. I worked out that my entrance had splashed everyone. They all started trying to splash me. I flinched away for a moment before splashing back again. I tried to keep my returning splashes subdued, as I didn't want anyone to see my scars. Keeping my arms exposed for as little time as possible. I swam around a little and ignored their splashes at me and they began to splash at each other. I went under the water and opened my eyes, against the instinct as a thought I'd had began to instill fear in me. The water was clear enough for me to open my eyes and still be able to see. The water was deep, but not deep enough for me to be unable to see the bottom. I swam downwards and looked around. My fears fell away again as I saw that it was clear. It had only just occurred to me that some of Them might be lurking at the bottom of the water since they were far too lacking in co-ordination to actually swim. Fortunately, there were none. Perhaps something about the water and what few senses they had didn't mix. I emerged from the water again and felt a strange weight on top of my shoulders. I looked up to see Saya on top of my shoulders.

"What the hell are you doing? Y-" I cut her off by throwing her off of me and into the water. Everyone laughed as she flailed and fell in. She surfaced again and was about to yell at me again. Saeko splashed her and gave me a surprisingly warm smile. We splashed and swam around for a bit longer.

"Who's hungry?" Saeko asked.

"I am!" I yelled and threw my hand up like a schoolchild.

"Me too!" Takashi exclaimed and copied my gesture. Everyone else followed suit and we left the water. I dried myself off with a towel and sat down on the sand. Saeko handed out portions of sushi to everyone. We all thanked her and began eating. I took a bite.

"This is just as delicious as I remember, thank you." I said with a small smile. She beamed back at me, proud of herself and appreciative of the comment. I finished my sushi alarmingly fast and took to my guitar. I strummed a little before settling on a song. I opened with some reggae style chords.

"I don't practice Santeria. I ain't got no crystal ball." I began to sing. As Rei finished her sushi she took Takashi's hand and began dancing on the sand with him. He stumbled on the sand as he awkwardly followed her lead. As everyone else finished their food they got up and began dancing too. Saeko and Shizuka danced together and Saya and Kohta danced with each other as Alice chased Zeke around the sand. I finished the song and kept playing fun and summery songs to match the current mood. We danced and swam the rest of the day away until nightfall approached. We used the last of the daylight to pack up and head back towards my friend's house for the night. I used the towel to get the last of the sand out and dry off properly. We walked back to the house, talking the whole way about what a great time we'd had. I even received a few compliments on my playing, which felt nice. We got through the door and I brought the carrier bags full of supplies from the carts back into the house again. I was in a good mood in spite of everything. Of course my mind switched itself back on the moment I realised that I had been enjoying myself. I resolved that while this would be gone completely by tomorrow, I'd enjoy what little happiness I had left.


	5. Hesitation Marks

I dropped the guitar off in my room and began to get changed into something more covered. Shizuka had almost noticed my arms as we were coming in. I didn't want to risk the chance of anyone seeing my scars. I was looking at my arms paying attention to what I'd done. It was bad. The scars were pretty deep now. Rei came in as I was looking at my arms. I jumped back and threw a hoodie on to cover them up. It was too late; she'd seen them.

"Don't tell anyone. Please." I pleaded.

"Saeko has a right to know at least. You and her have been friends for a long time."

"She knows. She knew way before all of this."

"You're unbelievable. How could you do that to her?" Rei asked. She shook her head disapprovingly and left. I had never thought of it like that. I'd always seen it as something that only affected me because I was convinced that no one cared. But Saeko did and I shunned her for it. I was such a goddamned fool.

I decided that I would come clean to the others once Alice had gone to bed. As I entered the awful lime green room I saw something I wasn't expecting. Rei was all over Takashi and he was reciprocating. The couple were making out fairly passionately. It seemed like he had made the choice for Saeko. I heard it begin to rain outside. I kind of liked the rain. It made everything feel melancholy, and sometimes that was a nice thing. I could tell that Alice was tired; she'd had a long day. I grabbed her and began to take her upstairs. Saeko followed me up too.

"I want to talk to you." She said.

"Sure. Let me just put this little one to bed." I said, tickling Alice's chin. I put her down on her bed. Saeko waited outside Alice's room, even though she knew she was welcome to enter. Alice was babbling about her day and how amazing it had been. I listened patiently for a while.

"Ok, bedtime for you. You've had a busy day. I can tell you need some rest." I said, chuckling.

"Goodnight." She said.

"Goodnight." I said, as I left her room. Saeko was still waiting outside. She looked a little bored, head in her hand staring off into space.

"You know you could have come in and helped me out with her, right?" I whispered.

"I thought she'd be happier if it was just you. She's taken to you pretty quickly."

"She wasn't. Her big sisters mean more to her than anything. Also, she was full of energy; I could have done with some help. Besides, I know what I'm doing. I had a little sister before. What did you want to talk about?"

"I just wanted to apologise for everything. I don't want to argue with you. I still need time to work this out, though."

"That's fine. Take all the time you need. I understand. I don't want to fight with you either. I was just frustrated."

I gave her a hug. I took my hoodie off and she looked at my arms. I rolled my eyes, resigned. She traced her fingers around the scars. I winced slightly as she brushed against a recent one. She looked studiously.

"What are these?" She asked, indicating to the small, shallow marks that were overlapping with the main scars but in a slightly different direction.

"Hesitation marks." I said.

"It kills me inside a little every time I see this."

"I know that now."

"What took you so long to figure it out?"

"No clue." Every time I cut I hadn't just been shredding part of myself away, I had been shutting Saeko out.

"If you can accept me as I am, I can certainly accept you." She said.

"I hope you can."

I took my guitar again, plucking idly. I kind of spaced out and snapped back to reality after a while. I realised I'd been playing the whole time.

"What was that?" Rei asked, impressed. Even Saya looked impressed by whatever I'd done.

"No clue. I just disappeared. Didn't even know I was playing." I said, chuckling. I attempted to recreate what I'd just done.

"That was it." Saya confirmed. I was thankful that I could redo it when paying attention. I mentally noted down the instrumentation I had. I supposed it could go somewhere interesting if I could take the time.

"Why do you always play American and English music? Play something Japanese!" Rei requested.

"I don't really listen to Japanese music. Or Korean music, for that matter." I confessed.

"Here, just play something along with this. Improvise!" Rei said, pretty aggressively. I threw my hands up.

"Ok, ok. Chill out."

She began to sing in Japanese. I didn't know the song, or even if it was something she'd arranged for. I waited for her to sing a verse and a chorus before coming in with a chord progression. What she sang was pretty haunting and slow, so I tried to keep pace and bring in some minor chords. I didn't really pay much attention to the words, but she hit every note perfectly. It was fairly easy to improvise with her, but when she paused I had no idea if it was to finish the song or to leave me hanging and see how I reacted. I assumed it was the latter and continued playing solo for a while. Fortunately I had been right and she came back into the song. She smiled at me as she began to sing again. I was beginning to see that the song was one of her own and she seemed to have found an extra layer she was looking for. We finished the song and I let the final few notes fade away instead of muting them.

"Wow." Takashi said, planting a kiss on Rei's cheek and whispering something in her ear.

"Get a room!" I joked. Rei threw a cushion at me. I threw it back as she turned away and acted like I hadn't done anything as she turned around. I began messing around on my guitar and something just came to me. I started playing a riff and chord progression, repeating it a few times. Rei threw the cushion at me again and started to sing something else in Japanese along with it. I tried to keep the style of the song similar to the last one we had performed. Again, I was too engrossed in keeping up and making things interesting to pay much attention to Rei's singing outside of the notes she sang but I could tell from everyone's reactions that she was providing some good lyricism too. As we finished the second song I looked around the room. Everyone seemed impressed.

"You two make a good team." Shizuka said.

I gave Rei a high-five and smiled.

"Thanks. Maybe we can workshop some of this stuff when we get out of here." I suggested. In my mind I was thinking more along the lines of "_If we get out of here"_, but I didn't say it.

"Yeah! That would be awesome!" Rei said, excitedly. I smiled at her enthusiasm and put the guitar away. I sat back down.

"So, tomorrow we make our way to the Elementary school, yeah?" I said.

"Yeah, Takashi's mother will be there with my father. And my mother will either be there or at my house." Rei said. Takashi yawned and retreated to the room he was staying in, Rei followed him. Saeko looked at me and blushed a little. I smiled, shook my head and got up.

I was feeling really tired, but I knew I couldn't sleep. I went into my room and grabbed the packet of cigarettes I was keeping on the bedside table. I studied the scars covering my arms. I went back outside and lit up. I took my time with this one. The orange glow from the cigarette warmed the air around it slightly. There was a cool breeze in the air and some foreboding black clouds above. The wind brushed my fringe around slightly and nearly put out my cigarette. I felt some sort of momentary harmony, but I looked back up at the clouds and couldn't help but have a bad feeling about what was awaiting us at the elementary school. I tried to shut it out, foolishly feeling as though thinking about it affected whether my premonition would prove correct or not. It didn't of course, and I wasn't much of a believer in God or destiny. If God existed He was a cruel bastard or He didn't care, in my opinion. I always kept that view to myself though. I never wished to offend believers in those things; I never had an issue with people who did believe. It just didn't make sense to me. If there was any destiny or fate too it was probably one of the most malevolent forces at work in the known universe. I always got pensive when I was smoking. I realised I hadn't properly exhaled in a while, lost in my thoughts. I blew smoke out and kept the cigarette hanging in my mouth for a while before inhaling again. I watched through the window as everyone went to say their goodnights and go to bed. Saeko came outside though.

"Thought I'd find you here." She said.

"Good guess." I replied, sarcastically as I threw the cigarette on the ground and stamped it out. I hadn't finished it, but I put it out for her sake.

"What are you still doing up?"

"I don't know. Just can't sleep yet."

"Well, goodnight." She said, yawning. I hugged her.

"Goodnight."

She turned away and heard me fumble with the lighter.

"Fucking piece of garbage." I grumbled.

She giggled as she went through the door and back inside. I was left completely alone. I took a stool from the kitchen area and set it out by the front door. I sat on it all night, lost in my thoughts and smoking a bit more. I couldn't sleep one bit. I was tired, and I needed it, but as the night dragged on I had tried multiple times to get to sleep. It was all in vain. I'd just have to face the next day sleepless. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy day, either. Despite everyone else holding the belief that we will be free of any responsibility once we get to the evacuation zone. I thought it was more likely that they'll need our help than just make us wait around with the others. I heard as everyone began to stir. I put the cigarettes away and started to pack the shopping carts we were still pushing around. It wasn't the most convenient, but we had way too much to carry around and this was the only way we had of doing it for now.

Everyone came outside together, ready and excited to leave. Alice approached me first.

"You went to sleep very late and got up early. Aren't you tired?" She asked. I smiled.

"No, I'll be ok. I don't need much sleep." I lied. Saeko knew I hadn't slept all night. Everyone else was talking about where they thought the evacuation might be headed. Saya believed Hokkaido was most likely. I hadn't actually given it much thought.

"It could be somewhere further away, like the UK." I said. Everyone looked at me quizzically.

"Last I heard, London was unaffected and with it being an island and all maybe it's still ok?" I explained.

Saya scratched her head.

"Maybe. But getting the fuel to get there and back wouldn't be easy. Especially not now." She said.

"Yeah, but with the EMP I can't imagine many Japanese vehicles will be in working condition to get us out." I countered.

"Fair point. Either way, we'll find out when we get there." She said. I nodded and we all got ready to move. I looked up at the large black clouds filling the sky. I pulled out a raincoat I had taken and threw it over one of the carts. Takashi saw me do this and did the same with the other cart. It wasn't perfect, but it would have to do.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked.

"Looks like rain. We don't want our supplies getting wet." I explained, pointing upwards.

"Are we all set?" Takashi asked. Everyone affirmed that they were and we began moving towards the elementary school. Takashi and Rei seemed in high spirits. I knew it was because they were close to their families and a ticket out of here, but I couldn't help but internally question what they had been up to last night. I grinned to myself slightly.


	6. A Whole New Low

We walked past the police station and down the road full of houses and residential buildings towards Rei's house. The elementary school was going to be a few hours' walk from there. There were lots of Them wandering down the street, keeping us away from Rei's house. Takashi ordered Shizuka and Alice to stay back with the carts. I drew my katana and inspected the blade. It was already pretty badly scratched. I kept a sheathed tanto on me this time. I nodded to Saeko as she drew her sword.

"Don't shoot unless we need to. We'll try and clear what we can. If it gets bad we regroup here, just knock Them over to progress and stay close." I said.

Kohta drew the sniper rifle with the silencer.

"Good chance to see if this works if you need backup." He said. I nodded and Saeko and I approached the part of the street They were wandering around in. I stepped into combat with the first one. I slashed across its head and kept swiping at those around us. Saeko jumped up as one of Them tried a low grab for her leg and brought her blade down, splitting its head in two fairly cleanly. She had three of Them grabbing for her. She cut the arms off of one of Them and knocked the other to the ground. She hadn't seen the third. I stepped back towards her and wrapped my free arm around her and twisted her away as I thrust my sword into its head. I kicked the downed one as it tried to get back on its feet and spun Saeko back to where she had been. She finished it off and killed the one without any arms as it tried to throw its head forwards with all its body weight to bite her. I had problems of my own to deal with now; They were approaching to fill in the space that I had cleared in even greater numbers. I slashed wildly now, losing the battle. I heard something slam into one of their heads and knock it to the ground. It was a bullet. I saw Kohta wave and push his glasses up.

"Glad he's on our side." I joked, stabbing another one. My sword got stuck in its skull. I pulled and twisted to try and free it, but it wasn't coming loose. I drew my tanto now and threw focused, accurate stabs and slices to the heads of those attacking me. I grabbed for my katana again when it was clearer. It snapped and shards of metal were thrown back from the momentum I gave to pull the katana free. I watched as one of Them that was close to biting Saeko got impaled by a piece of metal flying through the air. A similar fate met a few of the others trying to eat us. I felt a piece of the metal scratch across my cheek and fly backwards, making me bleed. I now had a broken shard of metal on a handle and a tanto in my hands. I stabbed with the broken katana and the tanto at two different targets simultaneously. The broken katana now passed through pretty easily, but it wouldn't be long before even that wouldn't work anymore. We kept pushing forwards, fighting as hard as we could, but there were too many. We fell back to the rest of the group, ensuring everyone was armed with something they could use to knock Them over. I put Alice in one of the carts and told her to lie down before covering the raincoat back over the top so nothing could grab her. Shizuka took that cart and Saya took the other cart in one hand. In her other hand, she gripped the pistol her mother had given her before the group had fled the Takagi house.

Saeko, Rei and I led; all of us were best equipped to clear a path for the rest of the group to follow. We knocked as few of Them down as we could. No need to expend too much energy, we'd probably need to do this all the way to the elementary school. As we blazed a trail through the flesh-eating creatures, we all fought as hard as we could. Having had no sleep the night before, I was exhausted but the adrenaline kept me going. We eventually got to Rei's house. Everyone gathered by the door as Saeko and I covered the back, fighting as best we could to keep Them back until we could get in. Rei knocked frantically, but there was no answer.

"Time to use the guns." I said as I threw my broken katana into one of their heads and drew my pistol. I had learned to be a fairly effective shot since all of this happened, but the weight and sights of my new gun were a little different to the Smith & Wesson I had been using before and the lower recoil threw me off. I took down a respectable number of Them despite that, and I figured that as I kept shooting, I'd get used to the new gun.

"Blaze through Them!" Takashi yelled, cocking his shotgun.

Kohta took an automatic rifle and Saya took her submachine gun instead of the pistol. We cleared as much as we could and bolted into a clear area much further down the road, past the turning that would have taken us to the elementary school quickest. Takashi's new shotgun had helped a lot. We ran as far as we could, making an effort to keep away until we knew we wouldn't be pursued any further.

"I need a good katana." I said.

"There's a small museum further down this road and we could probably find one there." Saya suggested.

"Sounds good if that's ok with everyone else." I said.

"If it'll keep you and all of us alive, I think it's worth a detour. Besides, if it'll put more distance between us and any of Them we may have attracted I'd say go for it." Takashi said. We all carried on down the road towards the museum Saya had mentioned as quickly as we could. A few of Them had been attracted out of their mindless wandering by the sound we had made while fighting. We dealt with Them easily as the clear street was fairly open and we could see and hear Them approaching easily. I dabbed at the blood running down the right side of my face. If any of Them could smell, it would probably attract them too.

"That's a point. Do we know if they can smell? This'll probably be driving them into a feeding frenzy if so." I asked, looking at the thick crimson liquid on my fingers.

"We didn't test that theory." Saya said.

"I guess we'll find out." I said.

We got to the museum and Saeko said she'd accompany me inside. As a sword expert, I supposed she could help me find something I wouldn't have to worry about using. And as backup, she was probably the most trustworthy and strongest fighter in the group. I pushed the door open, keeping my second katana drawn now. There were a few of Them inside, but they'd anticipated our arrival either through smell or the sound of the door opening. We swept through the small museum very quickly, clearing it out completely. We then walked through together. I found Saeko reading most of the articles on the ancient artifacts in here.

"Come on, this is no time for a date in the museum." I joked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked.

"I mean we're here for a reason. As much as I would like to just walk around and read about this stuff with you, we need to find a good katana if possible. The others are waiting." I said. She snapped out of it.

"I suppose I was kind of being like that, wasn't I?" She admitted. I simply nodded and kept looking.

"There's nothing here!" I said, frustrated as I looked around.

"Look." Saeko said, pointing to a staircase.

"Oh."

We went up the staircase and were met by more of Them. We fought through Them as quickly as possible. There was a bunch of swords up here.

"It's like going shopping for a sword." I joked. I looked around to try and find one from a reputable blacksmith I may have heard of. Saeko pointed at one in a display case with some replica suits of Samurai armour.

"Forged by Shigemori Masuzoe in 1474, during the 10 year Onin War." Saeko read aloud.

"I've heard of him. There were some good swords made during that period. Let's take it and go. Breaking the glass case might start an alarm. Go tell the others and I'll take it when you come back." I said. Saeko nodded and ran down the staircase. She slipped on some blood at the bottom and fell forwards. I followed her down and took her hand to help her up. She smiled and thanked me.

"Nothing about me being such a gentleman or anything?" I said sarcastically, commenting on the way she spoke about Takashi and Kohta. She shot me a look before softening again.

"I shouldn't need to say it by now." She said. I just shook my head and smiled. I went out with her.

"I've found something, but I reckon breaking the case will start an alarm. Start running down the road now and I'll catch up with you." I warned them. Takashi nodded and everyone started to run except Saeko.

"You too. I'll be fine." I said to her. She reluctantly jogged after the others. I went back up the stairs and broke the glass of the case. A loud alarm started as I had anticipated. I grabbed the sword in its black sheath and threw the other katana away, keeping the tanto with me. I noticed a small pain in my hand as I bolted out of the exit and down the road towards the others. I looked down and saw that I had cut the back of my left hand on a piece of glass as I had grabbed the sword. I eventually caught up with the group. I was starting to be in bad shape, my back pain had returned and my hand and cheek were stinging. Not to mention I had just sprinted after the group and I hadn't slept at all last night. The cut on my hand was pretty deep and was bleeding a lot. I fumbled in one of the carrier bags in the carts for the tub of painkillers I had been using the past few days. I grabbed one and swallowed it. Shizuka watched me, concerned and saw my hand injury. She grabbed the roll of bandages I had taken and sat me down on the doorstep of some house we were passing.

"Wait here." Shizuka said to the others. Everyone stopped and Shizuka took the raincoat off of the cart she had been pushing and picked Alice up and took her out before replacing the raincoat. Alice watched intently as Shizuka grabbed some disinfectant and tore off a length of bandage and soaked it.

"Roll your sleeves up please." She ordered.

"I'm fine. It's just here." I said.

"I want to check." She said.

"Ok."

"Don't let Alice see." I said to Saeko. This earned some curious looks from everyone except for Saeko and Rei. Saeko grabbed and held Alice tight against her chest.

"What is it?" Alice asked, worried and trying to turn back. Saeko kept her gaze away.

I rolled my sleeves up. Shizuka inspected the backs of my arms, which were clean of course. But then she flipped my arms and gasped as she looked upon my scars. Everyone recoiled in shock; even Rei flinched again. Saeko just closed her eyes, unable to look upon them again. Shizuka paused for a minute, trying to process what she was seeing. She didn't say anything and bandaged my hand in silence. She wrapped the bandage a little too tightly and the stinging of the disinfectant applied directly onto the wound made me flinch a little. She shot me a look. I knew what that look was. It was questioning why I had done this. It was also bitterly saying _"Come on, you've obviously felt worse pain than that."_ which was true. I felt like I had reached a whole new low. I had disgusted the only people I had to care about me anymore. I had let them all down. I looked at all of their eyes. It was saying the same thing Shizuka's were. The same thing Saeko's eyes said to me every time she looked at me. I had inflicted more pain on them than I had on myself.


	7. Standoff

I watched the blood seep through the bandage, stinging my hand a little as the disinfectant burned against it. I was going to have a scar there now. Not that I'd ever had a problem with that. There had been an eerily calm desolation hanging over the city for the past few days. We hadn't seen any other survivors yet. I wasn't sure if that meant they were all dead, safely away from here or hiding in desperation. And I didn't really want to in all honesty. The group had shunned me now. Condemned to walk behind completely alone while the fracture I had caused kept them all in stunned silence. After a while, Alice fell back to talk to me. Nobody had noticed her slip back. I knew she wouldn't be doing this if she could have seen and understood what I had done. But she had read that I was lonely and needed someone on my side, which was a sweet thought on her part. Yet I somehow felt as though I was dangerous to her.

"Can you tell me what you did?" She asked, curiously.

"You know I can't do that." I said.

"But… how can I help you if I don't know what you did?"

I couldn't help but smile at her tenacity.

"Nice try. I don't need help, though. I deserve this. We'll work it out when we get to the school." I tried to show her as much warmth as I could, but I still felt as though I came across as cold given my mood.

"Go catch up with the others. I'll be ok. I promise I'll work this out with them as soon as I can. We all need some time first." I said to her.

"Ok, I guess I understand that." She bounded forwards again and Saeko took her hand. Both of them looked back at me. I was staring at my feet and the grey concrete of the ground. The black clouds hanging overhead began to open up.

I pulled my hood up and kept as far behind them as I could, they were only just within eyesight now. We walked for a while longer, completely alone until I heard footsteps close behind me and I wheeled around, expecting to see one of Them. Instead a haggard looking man with long, greasy grey hair and wild eyes met me with a double-barreled shotgun to my chest.

"Put the sword down and give me everything you've got!" He yelled in Korean. I raised an eyebrow, surprised to hear Korean again and began to comply. I placed the sword on the ground in its sheath by my feet and grabbed my pistol, holding it to his flabby belly. His finger twitched.

"Go ahead. Pull the trigger. You'll die too. And do you know what happens when you get shot in the stomach? Your digestive acids slowly kill you from the inside. You'll die in one hell of a lot more pain than I will." I said calmly, in Korean. He looked at me, both shocked that I spoke back in Korean and unsure what to do. He tried to sweep the sword with his feet. I tutted and flicked the safety on and then off again, to show him I wasn't screwing around.

"I'm just trying to get to the elementary school. I'm completely alone. My daughter's back there, and she's sick." He pleaded.

"I'm trying to get there too. I'm also alone, but if you think I'm dying for this you're wrong." I growled fiercely, shifting into a confrontational mode I hadn't shown anybody before. Not anyone that stayed around me for much longer, at least. My intimidation worked.

"So what do we do?" He asked, scared.

"One of two things. You get the hell away from me and go somewhere else, or we wait here until one of us either drops our guard, dies or gets bitten." I explained.

"That first one's not gonna happen." He said, shaking his head.

"Well, I haven't slept in at least eighteen hours. So you have that advantage at least."

"I've not slept much more myself." He confessed.

I meant what I had said both about being alone and waiting. The only potential advantage I might have is if someone in the group notices my absence and tracks me back here without this man noticing and kills him for me. I couldn't look back or yell for their attention without getting shot, so I just had to hope. I twisted the pistol in my hand, keeping it on him.

"What's your name?" He asked me, obviously beginning to accept what was going to happen.

"Tatsuzo Euikon. How did you know I'd speak Korean?" I said.

"I didn't. I just figured if I yelled at you and held the gun you'd get the message. I really didn't expect it. I don't know Japanese." He admitted, sheepishly. I almost wanted to laugh at the situation it was so ridiculous.

"What's your name, then?" I asked.

"Tsai Ki-Whan. I came here with my daughter for a holiday. Obviously we're stranded here and want to get back home." He said.

"You said your daughter's sick. Do you know what the problem is?" I asked, still staring at my pistol.

"A cancerous tumour in her spine. She's wheelchair bound and doesn't have long left." He said, sighing.  
"I'm sorry. If I get out of this in your place, I promise you I'll take care of her for you." I said, sincerely. I meant this sentiment completely, but I knew I couldn't let him go. And he knew the same.

"Thank you. It means a lot. She's my driving force to best you in this. I've never shot another person before." He said. I nodded.

"Well, I probably won't get out of this one then. The bond between a father and his daughter's strong. I know you'll give this your all. I haven't shot another person either. I can't believe this is the world we're living in now. One where I have to have a standoff to the death with a loving father desperate to care for his daughter and hope that I get out alive."

"Yes, it is. My daughter's name is Yang, in case I'm the one who falls first."

_"If I'm the one who falls first." _Not just the one who falls. He knows that we're both going to die much sooner than we would have anticipated a week ago. I had that knowledge, but it really hadn't struck me with this much weight before. As I lost myself in this thought momentarily I saw him twitch for the trigger. I snapped my head back up.

"Not yet." I smiled, twitching my finger in response.

"My daughter's the most beautiful creature on this Earth. Her eyes are such a deep green. It feels like staring into the most genuine truth in this world."

"I bet she is. I'll let you in on a secret."

"Why?"

"Because only one of us is getting out of this alive." I said, rolling my sleeve up. He gave me a similar look of disgust only without the personally resonating disappointment I had seen in the eyes of the others. There was still some level of disappointment in there though.

"I'm dying for a smoke." He said, trembling.

"Trust me with this." I said, keeping focus on my gun as my free hand reached into my back pocket and pulled out the packet of cigarettes. I flipped the pack open and brought one to my mouth and placed one in his. I put the packet back and took my lighter. Using it one handed in the light rain wasn't going to be easy, but I managed to light them both and hold my free hand over the lit ends to protect them from the rain.

"You're full of surprises, kid."

"I know."

Smoking with no hands wasn't easy, but I pulled it off fairly well, as did Tsai. But he seemed like he'd had practice. We stood there in silence, taking drags from the cigarettes and blowing smoke in each other's faces. I kept my concentration locked on my gun the whole time. I could feel his discipline slip a few times, but he caught himself too early. I finished the cigarette and let my lip drop it onto the ground. I brought my free hand holding the lighter to my back pocket and dropped it into the pocket with the pack of cigarettes. He did a similar thing and I was back to focusing on the gun. We stood there in silence for a very long time. I stared at his sunken eyes and the taut and drawn skin of his face.

After hours of standing in silence at full alert, or at least what felt like hours, a silent bullet finally slammed into the side of Tsai's head. My only hope had actually come true. I rolled my sleeve up quickly. I knelt down by the man, closed his eyes and whispered an ancient Korean funeral rite I knew. I took my sword, turned the safety on my pistol back on and grabbed his shotgun. I felt both relieved and sorrowful. I looked up at a nearby rooftop to see Kohta with a sniper rifle waving at me as the barrel let off wisps of smoke. Saeko was next to him on the roof and she looked relieved. They went down the back of the building again and came around the turning further down the street to meet me. Kohta eyed the shotgun.

"This one's personal now. My use only, sorry." I said to him.

"That's fine. Sorry about the hold up. We got all the way to the school before we realised something happened." He apologised.

"Well, you came through either way. I don't think I would have made it out on my own. Thanks." I said.

"Getting sentimental about the old man's shotgun?" Saeko teased lightly.

"Yes actually. A standoff with a man who wants to kill you for several hours and you get to know each other quite well." I said.

"Anyway, you got to the school?" I asked, changing the subject. It felt a little too real.

"Yes, and I think there's a young lady who you might like to meet." Saeko said, happily.

My face fell.

"No…"

"What's the matter? Her name's Yang. She's Korean." Saeko said, confirming my darkest fear in the happiest tone. A tear ran down my face, but the rain disguised it well.

"That's what I was afraid of." I said, shaking and the deepest recesses of my mind tried to deny it.

"What do you mean? How did you know?"

"He was her father." I said and the ground seemed to fall away from me. I put my hands to my face and sobbed silently. Kohta gasped and guilt flooded over him. As my hands fell again I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together. Saeko took my hand in hers. It was cold from the rain. This new world was shaping us all into monsters.


	8. The Lost Boy

I clutched Saeko's hand tightly, as though if I let go the weight of everything would come crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. I'd been trying to reason with myself as we made our way to the elementary school. Telling myself that neither Tsai nor me could have trusted each other and there was no other way to deal with the situation. This was true, but using it as a justification felt wrong. I couldn't justify what had happened any more than I could save the world. But I was certainly trying. Saeko's hand trembled in mine, and it felt freezing. She'd come all this way with Kohta to come and get me despite everything. I felt like that spoke as a measure of her character. Sadist or not, I wasn't sure. But I didn't care; I was the same way. We carried on silently for a long time.

"So the elementary school's safe?" I asked finally. Trying to distract my mind.

"Yeah, there are a lot of good people waiting to get in. We're lucky. Friends and family of people who are already in the school and those who are too weak or injured to fend for themselves get priority. There's always two guards and a medical expert at the door. The medical expert is there to ensure that people who claim to be injured or ill actually are. If someone claims to be friends or family of someone, they have to state the person's name. One of the guards will bring them to the gate and the person confirms their relationship to the person claiming a spot." Saeko explained.

"Sounded like I missed a heartfelt family reunion then." I tried to joke but I said it weakly and sounded distracted.

"Well you did after the confirmation of relationships."

"How do they know who's already been let in if you're coming in and out then?" I asked.

"They have some of the artists the police department get in to sketch eyewitness accounts and anyone else who can draw well to help create these passes with a drawing of the person on them. They're really overworked, but it helps." Saeko said, showing a piece of paper with her name and a drawing of her with a police department insignia underneath it. I studied it for a moment and almost giggled at the image of police sketch artists sat around a small table in a classroom in an elementary school making these passes that my mind conjured.

"Sounds like they have a solid setup." I said.

"True, but you'll have to go through the process too. Then we'll see what you think." Saeko teased.

"Hey, if it keeps everyone safe I have no problem with a bit of hassle." I said.

We continued walking for a while down the empty streets. We rounded a corner and I was met with the explanation of where everyone had gone. There were convoys of military vehicles with armed guards from the police or Self Defense Force stationed in them or on foot, surrounding every possible approach I could see. There was a line of people queuing as far as I could see. And then some. They were all bustling around, waiting for entry.

"What's happening with the evacuation side of matters?" I asked.

"We're being cleared in cargo planes to Hokkaido. Won't be a fun ride, but it'll be safe. The first one leaves later tonight." Saeko answered.

"Shit."

"What is it?"

"I had a discussion about where the evacuation was headed with Saya, and she was right. She won't let me hear the end of this..." I groaned. Saeko relaxed and laughed a little now, as she had tensed at my exclamation.

"Sounds about right." She said. I noticed that Kohta had been completely silent. He was just as troubled by what had happened as I was, if not more. I presumed his guilt was based more on the technicality of his pulling the trigger. I decided I'd talk to him when we got back. He was the backbone of our offense, and we needed him more than we could express into words. All of us would have died without him. He had been staring out into the distance this whole time.

We still couldn't even see the elementary school and figured we were still quite a walk from the gate. I watched as a fairly young mother tried to keep her son entertained. As we passed them, the boy pulled himself towards his mother in fright. She gave me a dirty look. I ignored it. I don't know what about me had intimidated the boy, but while my instinct was to speak to him, I fought it and kept on, eyes forwards. His reaction had gotten to me somewhat and I didn't know why. As we pressed on, I noticed that the guards protecting the queuing citizens were no longer police officers or Self Defense Force but average men and women given guns and told to stand to attention and look purposeful. I met the gaze of one of the men and saw the uncertainty within him. I presumed that once we got close to the doors the guards would be actual police officers again. I supposed it made sense, with the number of people waiting it seemed like the police force of most of Japan would have to be deployed to effectively protect the school and the people waiting and still have the ability to take shifts. I saw one such shift change take place as a woman carrying an automatic rifle approached an area where a tired looking man was stationed. She stood beside him for a moment before he turned the safety on his weapon back on and walk back towards the school. This place was about as airtight as it could be given the circumstances, which was good, but that still raised doubts within me as to whether as safe as it could be was actually safe enough. The main issue being that whenever I'd stayed anywhere, I was always alert and questioning my safety. In this "safe zone" however, everyone is secure in the knowledge that they're safe. Even I can admit that I was about ready to let my guard down until this thought crossed my mind. Saeko squeezed my hand and I came back to reality.

An overweight middle-aged man was leaning over to try and look up Saeko's skirt. I heard him mumble something vulgar and I let go of Saeko's hand and grabbed him by the collar of his dirty and stained shirt.

"Can you repeat that please?" I asked.

"No." He said indignantly. But I caught him swallowing, nervously. I dragged him out of the line. I looked at Saeko for a moment and gave her a nod. She took a step to him and landed an almighty kick to his crotch. The man doubled over.

"Learned your lesson, pervert?" She asked him. He nodded before vomiting on the street; he had enough sense to make sure it was just behind us. I tried to take Saeko's hand again, but she pulled it away now, angrily. _"Great. One more thing to clear up once I get inside."_ I thought to myself. We finally got to the gate. As I'd anticipated, pairs of Self Defense Force operatives covered every approach. We walked up to the guards at the entrance. I heard complaints from the people at the front of the queue, mumbling and cursing as Saeko and Kohta revealed their makeshift passes. The guards held us all back still.

"Two people on the inside need to confirm you are with them before we can let you in." The guard on the right said.

"Why? We only left earlier today?" Kohta began to argue.

"Just following orders. We were told to tighten up on this. We won't have enough room for everyone otherwise." The guard said.

"Ok, we know Shizuka Marikawa and Saya Takagi." I said. I would have listed Rei and Takashi first, but they were probably with their families and I felt like interrupting them would be rude when we had two alternatives with no family present.

One of the guards nodded and indicated to someone inside to fetch Saya and Shizuka. We stood by the gate for a few minutes before they emerged. They confirmed their knowledge of us and the guards motioned me to a room full of sketch artists sat with people to create a pass for the new arrivals as quickly as possible. I sat at the empty desk closest to me.

"Name?" The person asked. She was a woman in her late twenties, with blonde hair that was beginning to grey already. She had bags under her eyes and hair that had gone unwashed for a long time.

"Tatsuzo Euikon"

"Age?"

"Eighteen."

"Occupation?"

"Student."

The artist was evidently fed up and in no mood to chat. She drew a detailed sketch of my face as quickly as possible and motioned me out of the room wordlessly. I took the pass and walked out.

As I stepped out, I saw Alice waiting for me.

"Tatsuzo!" She exclaimed as she barreled towards me for a hug. I grunted as she made impact and I picked her up. Her smile made my stress melt away momentarily. Until of course, I realised that her smile had done that to me. Then it came flooding back. But looking at the hope and joy in her gave me some strength I really needed. I placed her atop my shoulders and she pointed towards what were once classrooms by the staircase leading to the second floor of the school. I was rather surprised at the space inside the school, but I supposed it made sense. Apparently children used to board here sometimes, with the dorms on the upper floor.

"Our bunks are that way." She said.

"Our bunks? Are we all together?" I asked.

She nodded.  
"The adults are somewhere else and girls and boys are separate. But we're next door to each other."

I followed her directions. I began to run towards a low doorway that she obviously couldn't get through on my shoulders and she began to squeal. I kept going until her nose just about brushed the doorframe. I stopped there and she stopped screaming. I laughed and set her down. I flicked her nose.

"You didn't think I'd let you get hurt, did you?" I asked, warmly.

"I didn't think about it like that." She said. I walked into the doorway and saw Takashi with his mother and Rei talking to both of her parents while Shizuka, Saya, Kohta and Saeko were talking to each other and playing with Zeke.

"Here he is. Man of the hour." Rei's father said, sarcastic yet friendly as he stood up to shake my hand. I took his hand. He had a very firm grip, which I hoped to reciprocate. Rei's father had short greying hair and a dark brown moustache with hints of grey, which was a remnant of the hair colour he used to have. He had blue eyes of quite a dark tone for eye colour. His moustache made him look like a little bit of a Western stereotype of a policeman but his demeanor demanded respect.

"Tadashi Miyamoto." He boomed with a smile. He seemed to be attempting to intimidate me a little, not aggressively, but to get a measure of my strength. Like a gorilla beating his chest.

"Pleasure to meet you, detective. Tatsuzo Euikon." I introduced myself as politely as I could.

"Is that Korean?" He asked.

"Half." I confirmed.

"Which half?" He eyed me up now, as though my response was important.

"South Korean."

"Good answer."

Rei's mother stood up now. She was a slight and graceful woman who resembled Rei quite a lot. Her hair was also in a similar style to Rei's, but slightly longer. She must have been quite young when she had Rei, as she still looked to be in her thirties, despite her having to be closer to fourty.

"Kiriko Miyamoto." She said with a warm smile as she extended her hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, ma'am. Tatsuzo Euikon." I said, as I shook her hand.

"Ah, the lost boy." She said, knowingly.

"In more ways than one." I replied. She gave a small laugh at this.

"The boy has a sense of humour." She remarked.

"I try."

While I had been joking when I said it, Kiriko's words resonated with me somewhere. "_The lost boy", _it summed me up pretty well. Takashi's mother stood up now. She was also fairly young looking considering she had a son close to my age. Part of that was likely to be her job, though. Working with children seemed to give her an enthusiasm and energy that kept her appearance relatively young. Her hair was a mid-shade of brown and she wore it up in a traditional bun.

"Kioko Komuro."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Komuro." I shook her hand too and the introductions were out of the way.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to take a moment." I said, apologetically. I went to the room next door and found the only empty "bunk". I threw my sword and pistol onto it. I looked at Tsai's shotgun. I pressed the release and found that both barrels were completely empty. He'd been bluffing the whole time. I snapped it shut. Kohta didn't need to know. I didn't think he could handle it right now. I couldn't.

I walked towards a bathroom. Since it was an elementary school, the sinks, urinals and cubicles were smaller than normal. It felt rather strange. I sat in the cubicle and looked it. This new knowledge had made matters worse. I let myself break and I sat down crying for what must have been twenty minutes. I dried my eyes and made sure they weren't red anymore. I splashed water over my face and rubbed it over my skin. It was the closest to a wash I was going to get now. I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in a long time. My black fringe swept across my forehead, from left to right. My face was fairly long and slightly oval shaped with a pointed chin. I had deep grey irises, which were the only feature I actually liked in myself. I had quite a strong build with decent muscle definition, too. The one other thing I had some small pride in. I didn't see the Korean side in my appearance. But that was because I wasn't actually half Korean at all. I hadn't told anyone the truth, but I was actually half American and half Japanese. I was adopted by my Korean family from a young age, but biologically speaking, I was American and Japanese. Korean was just the lineage I was taken into by my adopted parents. My sister wasn't biological either, but she and the Euikon family may as well have been. My real parents were a disgrace. My father was a fat and lazy alcoholic American who abused everyone in the family. Apparently I was included in that, but I was far too young to remember. My mother was a prostitute and a junkie. My Japanese genetics came from her. They had several other children, but I was one of the more recent. At the time my father was serving a short jail sentence for abuse and my mother's addiction was spiraling out of control. They were at rock bottom and then I came along. They couldn't handle it at all, so they gave me up for adoption. I was their fifth child, but they went on to have one more later on. I'd be lying if I said that this hadn't messed me up at all, my scars could prove that. But I was definitely better off without them. The Euikons had given me a loving home and everything I could need. Of course, it didn't change my rebellious teenage phase, which was where I took to the cigarettes and cutting. But they hadn't brought that upon me. My biological parents could take blame for that. I had several brothers and sisters in my biological family. When I'd told Alice that Jonah was my cousin, it was technically a lie. He was actually my oldest brother, now in his late twenties and far more sane than he deserves to be for putting up with our parents. There was not a whole lot of age difference between me and my brothers and sisters, but the variation in our sanity was a different matter. I did consider my biological brothers and sisters more like cousins because of the distance and complete variation in upbringing after my adoption, but I sometimes had memories of my family in America. I had never told anyone this. As far as everybody was concerned, Satomi Euikon was my mother, and where I apparently got my Japanese heritage. My father was presumed to be Hyun Euikon and Li Euikon my little sister. It felt more like they were actors playing my normal family while I was in a movie where I pretended to be as normal as I could for a character named Tatsuzo Euikon, while hundreds of thousands of miles away my scumbag father was beating my mother and using my younger brother's arm as an ashtray to stub cigarettes out on. Sometimes knowing that those slobs were where my roots truly lay made it hard for me to practice being as honorable as I could be when practicing Kendo and studying Bushido. I never really lived by Bushido, as much as Hyun and Satomi tried to make me. It just wasn't really me. Kendo however, I could do. And I did it well. I was on top and everyone finally paid attention and saw a little of whom I was behind the mask I wore everyday when I was behind a practice sword. Until Saeko came along, that is. Her father had been teaching me Kendo and attempted to push Bushido on me until it stuck, just as he had with his daughter. But I was not his son, and Bushido was never really something I practiced with every ounce of my being, however I always tried to practice it as part of the character of Tatsuzo. When I moved to Fujimi High I stopped taking lessons from him, I couldn't let Saeko know that side of me. Saeko knew I had taken lessons from her father; that was actually how we'd first met. But I left because I didn't want anyone to know me aside from the character I was playing, not the boy I was. Saeko's father knew who I was, but I couldn't let Saeko know. Nobody except for my two families knew me as Levi Adams, the American boy from the broken home. "_Levi Adams, the lost boy"_.


	9. Insomnia

Somewhere down the line, Levi and Tatsuzo had mingled. So in the end, what I showed to everyone was genuine, but I cloaked more of myself than most. All of this had left me with some serious identity issues throughout my life. And before all this I really couldn't bring myself to tell anyone. Now I think I had to. Takashi and his group were all I had and I had to decide whether to tell them or lose them forever. I knew which one I had chosen already. It was just down to how I approached it. I looked at myself again, trying to see who stared back at me. I couldn't tell. This time to think had shattered my confidence in being Tatsuzo. I took a deep breath and slipped back into character. There was one more thing I wanted to do before I told everyone. I went back into the girls' room, where everyone was waiting. The white, sterile walls seemed calming and reinforced the sense of security we all felt here. I presumed that this room was once a classroom, but the desks and chairs had been moved out. It seemed as though the residents nearby were bringing and donating their own or spare beds to the people who would be staying. I looked to see the group chasing Alice around the room as she tried to evade them by crawling underneath the beds. The adults had left now. Zeke bounded around her as she dodged, barking excitedly and wagging his tail furiously. Alice's ankles were right by where I was as she crawled underneath one of the beds. I reached for her and dragged her out from underneath the bed. She squealed when she realised she'd been caught. I stood her up. She looked disappointed, as though I'd spoiled her fun. I felt guilty then. Everyone else mirrored her look to some degree.

"You can go back to your game in a minute. I just wanted to tell everyone that I'm going to go and meet the Korean girl you were telling me about." I said.

"Ok. See you in a bit." Alice said, jogging on the spot impatiently.

"I might be a while. I haven't spoken in Korean for quite a long time now, I'm quite looking forward to it." I smiled.

"Let me introduce you to her first. I could do with a break from chasing this little ball of energy" Saeko said, ruffling Alice's hair. She fitted into the role of big sister extremely well, but it wasn't exactly a side to her I'd seen until recently. We left the room together and walked down the rather vast hallways. Shintoko Third was large for an elementary school, with a second floor I hadn't even looked at yet, although I knew that the dorms for the children who stayed here during term time were up on that next floor.

"So, what was all that about just outside the school?" I asked.

"I just… I wanted you to teach that man a lesson as you saw fit. I may seem tough, but it feels nice to have someone be protective over me sometimes. That's something hardly anyone has done for me." She said

"Let me guess. No-one except Takashi." I said, bitterly.

"Yes."

"I just presumed you'd want to defend your honour yourself. I thought that it would keep your pride more intact."

"Knowing you want to protect me would be nice is all."

I gave a bitter laugh of disbelief.

"You thought I didn't want to protect you? It was all I could do not to beat that pig to a pulp. If it was up to me, that man would need a wheelchair."

"Really?" She seemed surprised by that. Her eyes bore into me and I could see they were happy.  
"Of course."

"You seemed too tame."

"I was holding back. If I'd let go of my control he'd have been a lot worse off than he probably is right now." I growled as my mind went back to that moment. A lot of awful things had passed through my mind at the moment I grabbed that horrible man.

"I like it when you sound dangerous." She flirted, timidly playing with her hair by twirling a small lock of it around her index finger and blushing a little.

"I could do a lot more. If you knew what I was holding back…"

"Then let me in. Show me that passion and fire. I want to see that in you."

"You've never seen it? How about every time we fought in Kendo? Every time I've battled one of Them?"

"It was a mask. I can tell. I wear the same one."

"Not the same one, but similar. Either way, my mask is slipping. I'll let you behind it when I get back from speaking with Yang. I just want to clear that up first. Maybe the others will forgive me once they see it too."

"I already forgave you a long time ago."

"I know, and I have no idea why. I don't know why you believe in whatever it is you see in me."

"Believe in this." She said, kissing me. I kissed her back and lifted her off the ground a little. I set her back down gently and smiled at her.

We got into the main assembly room of the school where there was a lot of people bustling around, giving out food, ammo and water to those who needed it. I saw a small girl in a wheelchair being spoken to by a disheveled looking woman before the woman dashed off again to give out supplies to others and direct them to their quarters. Saeko pointed to the very girl I had been watching.

"That's her." She said. We walked across the room, stopping to let people dash frenziedly past us and carry on with their duties without colliding into one of us. Saeko waved at Yang, who waved back weakly without much energy. We finally got to Yang and Saeko started introductions.

"This is my friend Tatsuzo. He's Korean too. I thought you should meet him." Saeko said with as much warmth in her voice as she could muster. Yang just nodded, obviously unable to articulate in Japanese but able to understand what was being said.

"Have fun you two!" Saeko said, smiling as she left us two to speak.

I crouched down next to her and waved to Saeko as she left. Yang was just as amazing as her father had described. Her eyes were a deep sea green colour and her short brown hair framed her round face well. She was adorable. Usually you couldn't believe a parent when they spoke of the way their children looked. Obviously she took after her mother.

"Tatsuzo's a Japanese name." Yang remarked in Korean to me.

"Yes. I'm half Japanese and half Korean." I said with a smile.

"You don't look Korean." She said.

"Well, I don't look much like my father, and my mother is Japanese." I explained.

"What's your family name?" She asked.  
"Euikon."

"That's a rare name. I don't know what it means."

"Neither do I. My father never told me."

"He'll tell you when you find him."

I choked up a little.

"Yeah, I guess he will."

"I bet it's something royal or at least high status."

"Maybe. That would be cool, to be related to some ancient Korean prince or something." I said.

"It would be cool. My name's just boring and plain." She giggled as I mimed having a crown on my head.

"What is your name again?"

"Yang Ki-Whan."

"What are you doing here in Japan if you don't speak Japanese?"

"My daddy took me on holiday here. Have you seen him?"

I sighed. I supposed I had to tell her something of the truth right now.

"Yes I did."

"Why isn't he back then?"

"Something bad happened to him. One of the creatures outside got him. I tried to help him, but it was too late. He made me promise to look after you for him."

Yang began to cry loudly.

"Will someone shut that kid up!" Someone shouted as they bustled around.  
"I know, I know. I'm so sorry, but I know how you feel." I consoled her, stroking her hair as she leant her head into my chest.

"How… How do you know w-what it's like?" She asked between sobs.

"My father isn't alive anymore. Neither is my mother or my younger sister. Those creatures took them from me too." Her tears began to slow a little.

"You lost everything? Why are you not so upset?" She looked up at me, hopefully. The tears still glistening on her face.

"I suppose I did. I found Saeko and the group I'm with now. They're like my family now. They help me feel better and they help to protect me." I said.

"So you begin to feel better?"

"With time and the right people, yes. I promised your father I would take you in with us. So you can join my new family. They'll help you like they help me."

"You still need their help to feel better though?"

"Of course. Nothing can make up for your loss, but it doesn't have to hurt as much as it does to begin with."

"I feel bad for crying now. You lost your little sister and your parents? That's way worse than me. My mommy is still in Korea somewhere. She couldn't get time off work to come with us. She's safe."

"You shouldn't feel bad for crying. It's not a competition to see who should cry more. I was very upset when I got here because I remembered my family again. Just keep your hopes on the fact that your mother is still alive. Me and Saeko and the nice people in my group will help you feel better and help you find your mother."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course. I promised I'd look after you, and I want to."

She wiped her eyes and gave a small smile.

"Thank you."

"It's my pleasure."

"You might need to talk to the woman over there. Tell her that I'm coming with you and Saeko and your group."

"You're eager to join us."

"I trust Saeko now. She helped me a lot."

"Should I go and talk to her now?"

"Probably."

I stood up. It felt nice to stand again, the hunched crouching position I was taking was uncomfortable. I approached the woman Yang had been talking about.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" I asked.

"What?!" She snapped irritably.

"I was told to talk to you about bringing Yang with myself and the rest of my group." I said, indicating to Yang.

"She was set to be on the first plane out, because of her illness." The woman said.

"Is there any way we can get a space on that flight?"

"No."

"Is there any way we can get her a space on the last flight tomorrow, then?"

"No."

"Is there any way she can stay with a carer at the Hokkaido landing zone until we get there?"

"No."

"What do you suggest I do?"

"Leave her. She'll just weigh you and your group down with that wheelchair of hers. Unless you can strap some guns to it. Someone will take an adorable little girl like her in. And they'll be better qualified to do it than some stupid kid who thinks he can help." I gritted my teeth and fought the urge to throw her at the wall.

"I promised her father I'd look after her."

"Well, that changes everything!" She said, sarcastically.

I threw my fist at the wall right next to her head. Some of the plaster and paint broke off as I impacted it. Silence fell across the room at the sound of my punch. She flinched and my knuckles begin to crack and bleed as I opened my fist. I wiped the blood off with my other hand and it soaked into the palm of the bandage on my left hand. I walked away as the apathetic and frustrating woman trembled. Now she was paying attention. Everyone went back to their business

"What happened?" Yang asked.

"Nothing. I just got frustrated." I said, wincing at the pain I had induced on my hand.

"Why?"

"Because I can't get on the flight with you. Or get you on our flight. But, I can have someone look after you until our flight lands the next day." I said.

"Ok. Do that, then. Do you promise you won't leave me there?"

I laughed.

"Of course I won't leave you there! I promised your father, and now I'm promising you. I will look after you."

"Good."

Yang and I kept talking in Korean for a long time. Eventually, she got tired.

"I think I should go to bed. The first flight taking us out of here comes soon." She said, yawning.

"Yeah, you should get some sleep. You'll need your energy. Should I come and help you?"

"You don't need to help me into bed, I'm staying in the infirmary with all the sick people. We're being put on the flight before anyone else. One of the nurses will help me."

She wheeled herself towards the room she was staying in.

"I should come along. Perhaps I can ask one of your nurses to look after you at the airport until we get there." I suggested. I wheeled her to the infirmary and spoke to her nurse, a young woman with electric blue hair and a lot of tattoos. She had a sort of punk rock look, but without the element of intimidation. I looked around briefly and saw a lot of people with missing limbs or debilitating illnesses being catered to by some pretty put-upon looking nurses in the adjacent beds.

"Hi Yang." The nurse said, happily.

"Hi Masumi!" Yang exclaimed in return.

"Who is your friend here?" Masumi asked.

"Tatsuzo." I said, extending a hand to her. She looked at me as though it was strange and didn't do anything else.

"He's going to look after me with the rest of his group." Yang said.

"Oh, really? He has his own group? I didn't expect him to be a leader." Masumi said.

"I'm not the leader. But I have a huge favour to ask of you." I said.

"Ok, that doesn't sound good. Go ahead." She said.

"Me and my group can't get on the flight with Yang. And she can't get on ours. I have nobody I can trust on that flight. Could I possibly ask you to look after her until we arrive at the airport in Hokkaido? We're on the last flight out." I asked.

"Sure. Yang's so sweet; I'd love to help her. If she needs me, I'll be there." She said.

"Great. Thank you so much." I said, gratefully.

"Chill out. It's no big deal. I don't have anything better to be doing anymore." She joked.

"I'd better go. Thanks again." I said as I approached Yang to say my goodbye.

"Goodnight, Yang. Sleep well; you've got a big day ahead of you. I'll see you in Hokkaido." I said, warmly.

"Goodnight Tatsuzo." Yang yawned as Masumi helped her out of her wheelchair and into bed.

I left the infirmary and walked back into the room the group was staying in. Everyone had calmed down a little. Alice's energy had run down a little. She was sat on the floor petting Zeke as he bounced around the room before calming down when he sensed that nobody was willing to play much more. Saeko noticed me first.

"How was Yang?" Saeko asked.

"She was a trooper. It's hard, obviously but she's on the first flight out of here tonight. We're on the last flight, which is late tomorrow apparently." I said in Korean. I got some strange looks before I realised my mistake and switched back to Japanese and repeated myself.

"So what are we doing about that?"

"There's no way we can get on another flight. I got one of the nurses in the infirmary to look after her until we get to Hokkaido."

"I totally called it, by the way!" Saya teased.

"Hey, you won this round. It isn't over though." I fired back with a wink.

I could sense that the others were still tense around me from earlier.

"I need to explain something to you guys. It might not justify what happened earlier, but hopefully it'll make a little more sense. I haven't told anyone this before." I announced, sitting on the floor next to Alice with Saeko on my other side. I stared at my right hand and the bleeding knuckles. It was shaking intensely. I ran my hand through my hair and took a breath before trying to begin.

"This is going to sound insane, but I'm not Korean at all." I started. Everyone looked at me. I had their attention now, at least.

"I was adopted by Hyun and Satomi Euikon. I was actually born to an American family and a Japanese mother. My biological parents were wasters and couldn't cope with me. My dad was an abusive alcoholic and my mum was an addict. Hyun and Satomi adopted me when I was quite young, so I don't remember much of my biological parents. I still visit my brothers and sisters in America sometimes. I can only hope they made it through all this alive so far. They're not bad people, for the most part. They definitely deserve to be. I was lucky to get out. And I'm grateful to Hyun and Satomi, but it's messed me up in ways I can't even begin to describe. I live each day terrified that I might do something my biological father or mother would do. The Euikons were my chosen family and they mean a million times more to me than anyone in my biological family, but everything still took its toll on me. That's what you saw earlier. And I'm sorry, I'd never want any of you to see that if I could help it. In a perfect world, there wouldn't be anything there to see. But there is, so I can only apologise to you all and hope you understand a little more. I don't want to distance myself from you guys. You're all holding me together." I said. It was hard to admit this, and I teared up a little. Fortunately, nobody had seen my tears and I dried them as quickly and subtly as I could.

"What was your real name, then?" Rei asked.

"Levi Adams." I said.

"Sounds like the name of an American rock star!" Kohta joked.

I laughed at this, the moment of levity was much needed.

"I suppose it does…"

"If you have two names what should we call you?" Alice asked, she seemed a little confused. I didn't expect her to understand completely, but I felt as though she needed to hear it too.

"Keep calling me Tatsuzo. I've been him for most of my life and I'm still the same person…"I trailed off, not really believing my own words. I closed my eyes for a moment and slumped against the wall. The weight of the world had been lifted. It wouldn't stay there, but I'd enjoy it while it lasted. Saeko grasped my hand again. Everyone was more or less speechless. Shizuka had gone very pale.

"Is Jonah actually your cousin's name?" Alice asked, breaking the stunned silence.

"No. He's my oldest brother." I answered, squeezing Saeko's hand gently.

"Excuse me for a moment." I said, getting up.

I went to the bathroom again. I washed the blood out of the cuts on my cheek and knuckles. My real secret was out and it felt good to have been open about it. I stopped by the male bunks and took my guitar. I sat back down again. I saw the people of the group smile. They were actually looking forward to what I was going to play next. I hadn't known that feeling for a while. I began strumming some chords, played a few repetitions and began to sing another song in English.

"Where have I been all this time? Lost enslaved fatal decline. I've been waiting for this to unfold. The pieces are only as good as the whole. Severed myself from my whole life. Cut out the only thing that was right. What If I never saw you again?"

"I'd die right next to you in the end" Saeko sang with me. I raised an eyebrow, not expecting her to know the song or to join in. She and I sang the rest of the song together. Her voice was perfect with the melody and meaning of the song and it sent chills down my spine. Everyone was still in silence for moments after I played the last notes. I was beginning to feel quite happy. A plane was coming to take everyone out of here fairly soon, and the crushing weight of my darkest secret had been lifted. I kept playing, but nobody was talking. It felt strange; usually I wasn't the centre of attention like this. Maybe I'd play a song or two that the group would pay attention to and then I'd fade into the background again as I had done my entire life. This time was different. I played a couple more songs and asked Rei to help me work on something that had popped into my head. It was a happier progression than the two slow, dark songs we had improvised together. But I felt it was necessary, to lighten the mood of the group again. I watched Rei, spellbound as she began to sing. We played through another improvised song and I put the guitar away.

"That was amazing! You two should make an album or something!" Shizuka suggested.

"I'd love to. Maybe when we get out of all this we can find a recording studio and have some fun!" Rei said, supporting the idea.

"That would be good. I like that idea too. We should start writing this stuff down." I said.

"Maybe I'll start writing my lyrics and notes." Rei said.

"You should. I'd write the music down if you were serious about that."

"I am. When I was little I always wanted to be a popstar or something. I suppose I'd still like to be."

"Well, I'd love to help you achieve that."

"Thanks, that means a lot. I need to look ahead to something to get me through."

"I know. We all do."

Saeko took my hand again.

"Can we go outside? I want to talk to you." She said.

"Ok. Give me a minute." I grabbed my hoodie from off of my bed and checked I had a packet of cigarettes and a lighter with me. I felt bad taking them, but it didn't stop me. I went back to Saeko and she led me out into the back. I had a view of the large field that constituted the playground and the larger barren strip of it that had been cleared to make a runway for the planes. There was chairs set up around the field for people to sit at if they wanted to, but nobody else was around.

"Did you want to talk to me about anything in particular?" I asked.

"Well, not really. Of course I have a few questions about what you told us all, but really I just wanted you to myself for a while." She said.

"Well, what do you want to ask?"

"About your biological father. What did he do to you all?"

"Anything he could really. He'd drink constantly and inflicted pain on us as much as he felt like. I still have burns from him stubbing out cigarettes on my arm. You just can't see them because of the scars. That's really my only example that I can actually remember. Does it make a little more sense to you now? Why I internalize all of this? It's because I'm terrified that I'll do something like him. I've shown I have the aggression to do it. The moment I find myself doing anything he would do, I'd rather see myself dead. If I let it out, I'll explode. That's what my mask hides."

"I have another question about something else."

"What is it?"

"About Rei. Do you have feelings for her?" Her bluntness surprised me. I spluttered and laughed.

"Rei? No way."

"Why not?"

"What do you mean, why not?"

"Just answer me."

"I don't know. It's just more natural for her to be my friend. I mean, she's pretty and all, but there's nothing like that. We're probably not compatible in that way. What brought that on?"

"I noticed the way you looked at her when she was singing with you."

"Really? You're going to pull double standards on me when you haven't even figured your feelings out in the slightest?"

She didn't say anything.  
"Besides, it felt like we were making a decent connection when we were performing. It's simple as that."

"I feel like I'm losing you and Takashi to her. I thought there must be something about her that I don't have."

"Right. So you are perfectly justified to want both Takashi and me, but I can't look at another girl without you getting jealous?"

"You didn't defend me earlier. You left me to do it for myself."

"So you want me to want you but not to expect anything back? Even if I did want Rei, you have no right to give a shit with all of this that you're giving me."

"I don't know what I want."

"And you told me to believe in this earlier."

"I was convincing myself more than you."

"Well, go back to him then. Maybe he's the one you need to convince. If you think I'm going to sympathise you're wrong. I know what losing someone to somebody else feels like, and I'm seeing it again in you right now."

"It breaks my heart to see you this bitter."

"What the fuck do you know about heartbreak?! The only time you weren't good enough was the time you told yourself that. I've had it proved to me that I'm not good enough over and over again. I think I've got the message by now." I snapped. Saeko got up and left, shaking her head.

The first plane for the evacuation wasn't far off arriving, as the sun was low in the sky now, not far off from setting. Yang and Masumi at least would be safely in Hokkaido by nightfall. I sat around for a while before everyone set to be on the first flight lined up outside on the grassy patch by where I was sat. I scanned the crowd for familiar faces, seeing only Yang and Masumi. They waved at me and I waved back. A few minutes later, the cargo plane touched down on the dirt strip that counted as a runway. The runway was about three times the width of the plane, ignoring the wingspan. This was to make it possible for the plane to taxi and take off again. It wouldn't be an easy takeoff for the average pilot, but a pilot from an American military base was another story. The plane was loaded up in a matter of minutes and began to taxi and take off for Hokkaido. I waved to the plane as the deafening roar of the engines filled the air. I watched it fade from view until it became a dot in the sky. I lit up a cigarette. Alone and having just seen the plane take Yang and Masumi to Hokkaido, I was beginning to feel a little optimistic about that side of things. There was still the whole Saeko thing, but that was high school drama by comparison. So why did it feel so important to me? _"Because you have strong feelings for her, idiot."_ I thought to myself. She kept fluctuating between expecting me to be there for her and pushing me away. But it wasn't all her fault. When she was on my side, I encouraged her in and when she changed her tone I started pushing her away from me too. I needed to be consistent if she was to work her thoughts out. I began to think back to when she and I first met, we must have been around ten years old.

_I was sat outside Sensei Busujima's dojo. It was a peaceful area, with a lot of grass, a rock garden and a small pond full of fish. I was waiting for Satomi to pick me up. _

_"Who are you?" A girl wearing a kimono with a purple fringe falling down the centre of her face asked me._

_"I'm… Tatsuzo." I said._

_"Saeko."_

_"Are you Sensei Busujima's next student?"_

_"Yes. I'm also his daughter." My eyes widened._

_"I apologise, Miss Busujima." I stood up and bowed to her. She giggled._

_"You don't have to do that." _

_"Why not? It's respectful, isn't it?"_

_"Yes, but you look to be about the same age as me."_

_"I know, but I'm not exactly the son of a respected and highly skilled martial arts teacher."_

_"You're funny." I pulled a stupid face._

_"This kind of funny?" She giggled again.  
"Yeah." She said, coyly._

_"Good. I want to be a professional clown."_

_"Really?"_

_"Of course not. I want to be something that can be respected. I don't know what. Do you know what you want to be?"_

_"No. We don't need to know that yet."_

_"I know, but I'd like to."_

_"Me too." _

_"My mother's here. I have to go. It was nice to meet you. I suppose I'll see you here next week."_

_"I hope so. It was good to meet you too." She smiled and waved at me as I got in my Satomi's car. I waved back, but she was walking into the dojo by then._

We gained a great friendship from those talks after her father gave me Kendo lessons. Now look at us. I couldn't help but feel distressed at my foolishness. One minute I wanted her to come to me and the next I was pushing her to be with Takashi. Whether it was because I didn't think I deserved her or because I felt like she wouldn't be happy with me, but she would be with Takashi I wasn't sure. But I knew I wanted her, and I owed it to her to be consistent in that at least. I threw my cigarette to the paving slabs underneath the chair I was sitting on and stamped the burning stub out with my shoe. I went back in and saw the group in silence in the room. It seemed like they had been quiet for a while. I took Saeko's hand and led her out into the hallway. It was my duty to her to make how I felt absolutely clear.

"Saeko, I can't deny it, seeing you fall for Takashi is killing me. But you mean the world to me and I want you to be happy. I just want to let you know I won't change how I feel. You drive me fucking crazy, but I want you and only you. That's the end of it." I said. She collapsed into me. I hugged her and she wept into my shirt. I hadn't seen her do anything like this since we were very young. It was very unlike her. She stopped after a few minutes and pulled her composure together again.

"I feel awful that I'm putting you through this. I'm just… confused." She said.

"I know. It's ok. I want to make myself clear. Maybe that will help. I'll be right here no matter what you decide."

"It means a lot to hear you say that."

"I hope so." Saeko and I walked back into her room. Everyone was getting quite tired. Especially me. It had been a long couple of days and I needed some sleep. Badly.

"I'm going to lie down for a few hours. I haven't slept at all." I said.

Alice hugged me and sat back down. Zeke bumped his nose into my hand. I patted his head and went into the next room. Even if I was just going to stare at the wall for a few hours, I needed some form of rest desperately. I lay awake all night, trying with every ounce of my will to get to sleep but I just couldn't. Eventually I heard Takashi and Kohta enter the room and go to sleep. I kept trying throughout the rest of the night to get to sleep, but it didn't happen. Insomnia had taken over me now. As if I didn't have enough to deal with.


	10. The Hospital

I came back out of the exhausted thoughts that had plagued me all night to the sound of Kohta and Takashi talking about how good the girls had looked in their swimsuits at the beach.

"What do you think, Tatsuzo?"

I groaned.

"Restless night?" Takashi asked sounding a little concerned.

"Yeah. Didn't even get an hour." I replied, rubbing my heavy and bloodshot eyes. With their grey colour, when my eyes were bloodshot they looked pretty terrifying. I got out of bed and threw a shirt on.

"Let's go check on the girls." I said.

"We don't know if they're up yet." Takashi said.

"I'm fine with that." Kohta said, creepily.

Alice came into the room having only just woken up.

"Good morning." I said

"Morning." She yawned.

"What's up?" I asked.

"The girls are acting weird." She said.

"The kind of weird that we need to stop or the kind of weird that we need to stay away from?"

"I don't know. It's probably different for you."

"Do you want us to check on them?"

"I guess so. I'll wait here." Alice said.

We walked into the room next door. I immediately saw what Alice was talking about. Shizuka and Saya weren't in the room. Saeko was on her bed, naked and laying on her stomach. Rei was sat on top of her, massaging her. Saeko groaned, satisfied and surprisingly sexually.

"You're really tense..." Rei stated. Both girls almost appeared to be in some sort of strange trance. Takashi got very pale and fell over. The sound of him falling alerted them to our presence. Kohta made a similarly strange sound to the one he had made in the clothing store and got a gushing nosebleed again. Zeke was curled up at the foot of Alice's bed; seemingly content at the sight he was seeing. Rei turned around and glared at me. I blushed.

"Uh, sorry. I'm going to go now." I said, sheepishly

"You don't need to go. I could work on you next, with all your back problems" Rei said.

"I don't think that's a good idea..." I said, partially regretting it. I left the room, dragging Kohta and Takashi by their legs while they fantasised about what they had been seeing. I dragged them with difficulty into the other room.

"Where are Marikawa and Takagi?" I asked Alice.

"They're helping in the infirmary."

"I thought all the sick people left on the first flight?"

"There were too many sick people and some were too sick to travel."

"Ok. Come with me, I think those two need a minute." I said, dumping Takashi and Kohta on the floor. We walked to the infirmary and saw Shizuka and Takagi tending to the ill. It seemed like just as many were in the infirmary as there was before the first evacuation. Saya saw us and approached us.

"Can you get everyone ready? We're helping to load whoever we can onto the next plane. It's touching down any minute now. We've also got a supply run to make after." Saya said.

"Sure. There's... Something we might need to deal with first."

"Oh, that? I think they're just going a bit crazy."

"You knew? Have they done this before?"

"A few times, yes. It's happened to me before, when we got to Shizuka's friend's house. Have to let the stress out somehow, right?"

"Ok. Well, I'll mobilise the troops." I said, giving a fake salute as I moved back.

I got to the rest of the group and told them what Saya had told me. They got ready and we walked back to the infirmary. We loaded as many wheelchairs as we could find with those too weak to walk and began to push them out with everyone else who was lining up by the field. I was wheeling an old man with a smoker's cough and pale skin covered in wrinkles in parts of his face I'd never seen wrinkles before. I was told that he had brittle bone disease and had broken one of his legs running here away from Them. He told me he had crawled the rest of the way here. The guards hadn't given him much trouble on his entry. The poor man had been through a lot to get here, and I could tell that he was a strong willed person. It saddened me to see him needing my help, as I could tell it had knocked his pride and confidence.

"You look in a bit of a state yourself, boy." He remarked.

"Yes. No sleep for the past couple of days."

"None at all?"

"Maybe five minutes or so. Hard to tell."

"You need to look after yourself, clear your head and find some peace."

"I thought I had."

"Well, find something that works. Sleep deprivation will kill you even easier in this world."

I heard the loud roar of the engines interrupt me before I could reply and watched the skies, seeing the plane begin its approach. It was an identical plane to the one before it, but it had a different serial number on the side. It touched down and braked fiercely. The field was of course not intended to be used as a runway and was fairly short. The plane stopped safely though and the back opened up. We at the front loaded those from the infirmary who were healthy enough to travel into the back as quickly as we could, bolting back and forth before the rest of those planned to be taken on the flight rushed on. The plane took off, pulling the tight corner for the makeshift taxiway off pretty well. The plane accelerated with what little space it had, fortunately it was enough to get speed for takeoff. I watched it fade into the sky again.

I was the first to re-enter the school and take my new katana, which still hadn't seen blood yet. I drew it from the sheath and inspected the blade. It was extremely well made, possibly similar quality to Saeko's. As long as I looked after it properly, I shouldn't have to worry about it breaking for a long time. Assuming I lived to see that day. I took my pistol and checked our ammo supplies. We had burned through a lot fighting to Rei's house and back out again, but we still had plenty to go around for our supply run. Especially if we managed to find more when we were out. I looked at Tsai's shotgun. I wanted to take it, but I knew it might weigh me down. Especially when we were carrying whatever it is we were after. I made sure I was ready and nodded at Saya, who was waiting in the hallway.

"So, what are we going to get and where from?" I asked.

"We're going to the hospital. We need morphine and whatever else we can get to help those in the infirmary. Our supplies might work for us, but that's because none of us are ill. We don't have antibiotics either. It'll help us get everyone that we can on that last plane. Once our flight leaves, that's it until further notice." Saya explained.

"Why us?"

"Shizuka trained there, she knows the layout. And it's not just us, they're sending lots of Self Defense Force and Police with us."

"I suppose that makes sense."

I was ready to go. The rest of the group wasn't too far behind me. Saya told them where we were going and why and we moved towards the gate. We showed our passes and carried on around the back of the school towards the hospital. The Self Defense Force and Police officers that were to accompany us were waiting on the street, all equipped with automatic rifles and a few even had silencers on their rifles. There was much less security around here, only a handful of guards around this perimeter. This side of the school was a little different. The area we had been wondering around in had felt vast, hollow and empty, as though we were the only people left in Japan. This area had more evidence of the dead rising, there were stray extremities such as hands and feet severed or partially eaten and thrown by the streets, blood trails led towards the front of the school. The corpses had been cleared lazily, but there were still empty bullet casings on the streets along with the missing limbs.

"This must have been the remains of a fight to set this place up." Saya observed.

"Yeah, it was a massacre." One of the Self Defense Force officers confessed.

"It makes me feel less safe." Shizuka admitted.

"Don't worry, you're in good hands." The officer said.

I saw a few of Them wandering back and forth between some filthy alleyways. I clutched my sword, ready to be on my guard. We walked closer to the alleyways as softly and silently as we could. Some of the officers took the next alleyway along, saying they would regroup with us outside of the hospital. They wanted to clear the surrounding area, unhappy that they had gotten so close to the school.

I watched Them and saw as they roamed around looking for food. I saw one of Them feasting on a dead cat behind a dumpster. The smell nearly made me choke audibly, but I caught myself just short of that. You could have heard a pin drop at that moment. There was pure silence aside from the laboured breaths of diseased lungs and the squelching sound as they ate whatever carrion they could find. My hand was getting stiff from gripping the handle of my sword so tightly. I flexed it and it made an audible crack and started bleeding again. This got the attention of those beasts. I drew my sword. We could take them with melee, but it wasn't as easy as normal because of the extremely tight space. They all groaned and looked up from their meals or aimless roaming. Their thousand-yard stare bore into me. I pushed Alice forwards, past the alleyways and stepped in front of her. I drew my sword and cut one of Them down before it worked out exactly where I was. I threw a lazy, exhausted swing at the next one as it swung its arms at me. It dug its fingernails into my upper arm and ripped downwards as I moved away, trying to avoid its bite. Saeko lopped its scalp and part of its brain off in a clean horizontal slice. Its grip loosened and I threw it off, able to see a deep, long and jagged scratch down most of the side of my upper arm.

"Shit." I said, grimacing at the pain and in frustration for letting this happen to me.

I saw the looks everyone was giving each other. They had no idea what was going to happen to me. I saw some of the officers move for their guns.

"Don't. I'll do it. You guys move on. Now." I said, finally taking command.

"But we don't know what happens with a scratch. Don't you think you should at least know for certain?" Shizuka asked. I dropped my hand.

"Ok. But if I start to turn, leave me. Don't hesitate."

"Understood." Saeko said.

I hauled myself onto my feet, using all of my strength. I tried to move as fast as possible, but I was still considerably slowing the group down. I felt awful about that, but I wanted to hold some hope that I might live. For all my self-destruction I hadn't reached suicidal, and didn't intend to while I had the group to live for.

As we carried on, I began to see more evidence of Them having been here. Corpses on the streets picked apart by Them or killed by the living. I tried not to look at it too much. As we got closer to the hospital I saw a discarded fire engine, the windshield splattered in blood and the hose trickling a little water onto the sidewalk by the entrance of a small house that had been reduced to remains of blackened wooden foundations and charred corpses all that was left of the occupants. A similar fate had met a few of the conjoining houses.

"If it's like this here, the hospital's going to be swarming."

"Why? We haven't seen any more of Them that are active since the alleyways."

"Where's the first place everyone goes when a strange and infectious disease kills people at an alarming rate?" Saya asked.

"The hospital." Takashi realised.

"Exactly. And as soon as they start coming back and biting, they get even more people trying to get in and the disease spreading from the inside." I explained, in a weak voice. I had lost a lot of blood now and kept stumbling as I walked. I was such an idiot. I fought lazily and unprepared, now I was paying the price. I was probably going to die soon, and it was my own fault. I passed a crashed estate car with an infected family inside it. What I presumed to be a father and his wife with their two daughters in the back. They were all held back by the seatbelts, but had thrashed so hard against them that they all had similar cuts around where the seatbelt met their torso. I saw an unfamiliar destruction now. Different to the solemn and eerie silence of the streets we had been walking recently. All of the broken and abandoned cars, tatters of bloody clothing and spent bullet casings next to piles of bone with small chunks of flesh and muscle still attached all told a million variations of the same and equally tragic few stories. I didn't really know how to process this. I had seen a few of these kinds of movies and part of my numbness to this trauma was most likely part of me trying to tell myself this wasn't real. Just some macabre nightmare. But the pain in my arm was real and sharp. I could feel the warmth of my blood as it flowed down my arm, and the blood-soaked shreds of my shirtsleeve torn from the creature's grip flapping against my shoulder in the breeze. This was all too real for me to process now. The vacant side of town was almost manageable. Now I had far more to process. We got to the hospital entrance. Greeting us were some furiously flailing body bags dumped outside destroyed or bloodstained ambulances and about five or six of Them. I stayed back with Alice. Now not much use in the combat. I was just a spectator. Saeko drew her katana, and Takashi loaded his new shotgun. Rei shifted stance, ready to use her spear. Kohta took one of Them down with a silent sniper shot. He took down another one before Saeko, Takashi and Rei stormed Them. Kohta knew he couldn't get a shot off and that his ammo would be more useful once we were inside. Rei thrust her spear into one of Them repeatedly until she got its head. She was fighting furiously, as was Saeko. She was hacking limbs off of two of Them like she was possessed, really going for it with all she had, leaving rough cuts with tendons and muscles dangling off the exposed bone. She whipped around and cut the lower jaw off of one that was behind her and ready to bite. She stabbed it in the head and turned back to the armless one and decapitated it. I knew why she was fighting so hard; she thought I wasn't going to make it. I didn't blame her, I wasn't expecting to make it out of that hospital alive either. I was terrified that I would have to die now. I wasn't ready to leave what was left of the world behind. The rest of the accompanying Self Defense Force and police officers appeared out of the other alleyway, evidently having had an encounter of their own. I noticed that a skinny and awkward young man that had been with them was no longer there. They saw that we had cleared the entrance without much trouble. Except for my scratch. I heard clicks and movement as they all trained their rifles on me. I gave a laugh that became a horrible cough.

"Trust me, I'll be the first to do what needs to be done. Don't believe me and I won't stop you, but we haven't seen this before. It could be different." I tried to reason.

"Fine, but if you so much as cough in a way we don't like you're getting filled with bullets." one of the senior police officers growled.

"I should do it."

"Why?"

"Because if it gets out that you shot an eighteen year old boy without being certain of his fate do you think anyone will trust you again? Besides, I almost did it before. I have it in me to do so. They can tell you." I said, indicating towards our group.

The officer looked surprised.

"Very well."

"We're splitting off in the hospital." Shizuka said.

"What do you mean?" The officer asked angrily.

"We're going to try and find research notes, see what fate Tatsuzo has ahead of him. The medical supplies will be easy to find." She explained.

"Fine. But we can't split off. We'll help you get to the labs and wait outside. You may want some privacy. Then you lead us to the supplies. We don't know what we need or where to find it."

"That's fine. We'll be quick."

"You'd better be."

We entered the hospital quietly. Some of the officers attached silencers to their rifles.

"We don't have enough for everyone." One of the officers explained in a whisper. One of the men grabbed a soft drinks can that had been abandoned. Shizuka pointed down the hallway, which led to the research labs, it was just to the left of the staircase to the ICU. There was no sign of any of Them in the lobby, but there were a few shuffling around the hallway that hadn't noticed us. The soldier threw the can at the wall of the hallway, and the soldiers took aim down the corridor. The can made a small metallic sound and we heard what sounded like lots of Them sprinting towards us. They burst through the open doors and overpowered the closed ones, grinding some of the other ones to useless piles of flesh and crushed bone against the door as they swarmed. Those with silenced weapons fired down the corridor as quickly as they could. But the variation in heights of the targets necessitated a small adjustment to snap their aim to the head of the next one. Eventually, they overpowered us in number and fell upon the first few lines of soldiers who began firing unsilenced weapons into the horde. They crashed over the top of our ranks and descended upon anyone they could. Screams of pain filled the air. I could taste the blood in the air now, filling it with a sickeningly strong coppery taste on my tongue. Everything had become a haze of desperate fighting, screams and bullets. They were moving faster than I had ever seen Them move, still an uncoordinated shuffle, but determined and fast. Some sort of feeding frenzy perhaps. My head was reeling; the heat from the guns firing and the loud screams and gunshots filled my head that began to feel feverish. My breathing was becoming wheezy and something I had to focus on. The muzzle flashes kept piercing my vision and giving me a splitting headache. This continued for what felt like a very long time. As the smoke cleared and the chaos finally settled again, I saw that we had cleared the first part of the hallway. There were at least twelve officers that had been killed in the slaughter. That left us with thirteen more. I could hear their ragged breaths, as they trembled on the floor holding their bite wounds. The soldiers passed over and put their comrades out of their misery. They then took the ammo and silencers from the discarded rifles while a few men checked the corridors. We could hear more of Them coming. If we moved quickly and silently we could avoid another conflict until we needed to move again.

Shizuka led us into the research labs. As she expected, there were plenty of notes. The door had been left open, so we were able to close it. The police and Self Defense Force personnel came in with us and stood ready to fight.

"This had better be good. We lost twelve good men for this. Twelve!" The police officer from earlier shouted.

"We had to come down here anyway. There's morphine and adrenaline further down the hall. Don't blame the boy." Shizuka said, surprisingly sternly. She seemed more alert than her usual self, who was often a bit dopey. She scanned through the notes as quickly as we could, but it took a while to get the information. I slumped against the wall and a soldier held his rifle at me. The rest of the group tensed and readied to do something stupid to protect me.

"Leave it. It's ok." I said to them, barely audible. I was feeling so weak and exhausted. They were evidently distressed.

"Found it! He's not going to turn!" Shizuka exclaimed. I sighed in relief and smiled. The tension in the room lifted a little.

"What does it say?" I asked, breathily. She didn't hear me, but started reading aloud anyway.

"Anyone who is scratched will not die and reanimate. However the disease that the infected carry will enter the bloodstream and make them extremely ill. If not treated properly it can cause death." She said.

"Why won't I come back if I have the disease?" I asked. Audibly this time, but only just.

"The reanimation is caused by a parasite which has a symbiotic relationship with the bacteria that's affecting you now."

"So, this is bacteria and a parasite working together?" Saya asked.

"Yes. The bacteria makes you ill and weak enough to die. The parasite finishes you off and reanimates you."

"So I could still die?" I asked, concerned.

"No. Not with me looking after you. I know the symptoms and how to deal with them, we can get the medication you need and start treating you when we get back. It won't be fun though. You're very sick, you'll probably wish for death sometimes." Shizuka said. The soldier dropped the barrel of his rifle away from my head. I tried to calm my mind. Shizuka's confidence was promising, but I couldn't be sure I would make it through the illness alive.

"Sounds like a barrel of laughs." I said, coughing. Shizuka ordered three soldiers to accompany her silently down the corridor to one of the supply rooms. We were told to stay in the room. I tried to avoid coughing to not attract any of Them. After a short while, Shizuka returned with the two soldiers and a lot of equipment. My eyes bulged.

"I didn't think there were that many people to look after still." I said.

"No, this is just some of what I'll need for you. The soldiers are carrying what we need for everyone else in those bags."

"Don't get me so excited." I deadpanned.

Shizuka blushed and acted coy.

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that!" I said, realising she misunderstood. There was an awkward moment of silence. Then she took a syringe and plunged it into my vein.

"What th-"

"Adrenaline. It'll give you enough strength to keep up with us until we can find a safe place to look after you." She explained. After a few minutes, I began to feel a rush of energy return overriding some of my weakness.

"We'll sort you out, but we've got more to get first." Shizuka said, pointing upstairs.

The Self Defense Force took point as we made our way up the stairs. There was an eerie silence over the hospital. We knew there were more all over the place, but we couldn't see or hear any of Them. It felt unsettling, but I knew they weren't exactly hunters. We got to the medical supply room pretty quickly and without trouble. We began taking the supplies. One of the men waiting outside tripped over a corpse in the hallway and his rifle went off. It didn't have a silencer

"Shit!" I exclaimed. We all grabbed what we could even quicker than before. We began to hear Them swarm around us and even more gunshots and screams coming from outside the door. It was a massacre. We heard Them begin to slam against the weak wooden door. Some of the officers in the room with us pressed themselves against the door. Arms began to break through the door and they began to bite and grab the police and Self Defense Force personnel covering it. We dropped what we had, but I began to hear a distant growling, juddering sound that was getting louder and louder. I looked outside the window and saw our evacuation plane. Smoke was coming out of the turbine engine on the left and it was barreling towards the area below it. Right into the school. The loud roar of the failing plane attracted Them away from us. I couldn't stop watching as the plane impacted the far side of the school and exploded. Large parts of debris from the school building scattered across the streets, the rubble crashing into the lines of people that had still been waiting for a place as they sprinted away. The explosion threw me back with a huge force and the window shattered. I heard alarms on working cars start to go off. There was now only our group and three men.

The remaining officers bolted and we tried to follow suit, but I was too weak to keep up. We found one of the cars that was functional, the ones with the car alarms going off must either be shielded or far too old to have been affected by the EMP. We passed the old cars and found a battered Jeep that was still functional, but only just. The corpse of the driver was by the door, clutching his son in one arm and the keys in his hand. We took the keys and hurried in. I saw the black smoke and fire rising from the school, unable to see the destroyed school behind the buildings. The engine spluttered into life and we drove towards the school. The vehicle was badly damaged and the engine was incapable of going over 10 kilometers per hour. It wouldn't get us out of the school, but we could get there. We rushed into the school when we finally arrived. The smell of smoke and burning fuel filled my nose and I choked on the contaminated air. The unmistakable taste of petrol seared my throat.

"Tatsuzo, Saeko, Kohta and Alice, find Zeke and get our supplies. Rei and I will look for our family with Shizuka." Takashi ordered. I nodded and made my way into the hallway as fast as I could in my current condition. The others followed. Fortunately, the hallway we were in was still mostly intact, except for a hole blown out of the centre from the explosion. Our rooms had been on the far end, and I could see they were just about ok. Zeke was right there, bounding back and forth, unsure where to go. Part of the propeller on the plane had impaled the hallway just before our rooms and the end was on fire. I coughed severely from the smoke, and whatever strange illness I had caught. I told Alice to stay back with Kohta in the open part of the corridor on the other side of the gap.

"Don't argue. Kohta can protect you better than I can right now." I explained.

I grabbed Zeke and passed him to Saeko who returned him to Alice. I carried on into the male room and Saeko made her way into the next one, just behind me. I threw whatever I could see in the room into the now mangled shopping cart. Most of our supplies were still ok, with the exception of a few missing articles of clothing and food either taken in the panic or thrown somewhere else by the blast. The fire was spreading quickly and I could hear its crackling roar approaching. I pushed the cart as best as I could, the bent wheels making it cumbersome and awkward to move. Saeko was just ahead of me, doing the same.

"What do we do next?" Kohta asked, loudly over the panicked voices and loud fire.

"Find Takashi and Rei!"

We made our way in the direction that Takashi and Rei had taken. I could see some figures stumbling towards us, obscured by the smoke. I reached for my gun as they emerged. Some of Them had beaten us here. I fired a few shots, the recoil playing havoc with my injured arm and my dizziness hindering my ability to aim. I managed to take one down, screaming from the pain. I tensed and clutched my arm, lowering my pistol.

"Shoot Them!" Kohta said, glaring at me.

"I can't!"

Saeko sighed, drew her katana and took the rest of Them out quickly. Kohta and I shared a look of disbelief.

We wandered around the parts of the school we could access as quickly as we could. Seeing corpses of people we recognised from being around the school. The fire was spreading and we didn't have much time left before the whole place collapsed. We found a way to get into the main assembly room. The engine of the plane had barreled straight through the roof and sat in the centre of the room, blackened and flaming. Jagged scraps of metal from the fuselage were scattered around, some having impaled some of the survivors and others were large enough to crush people, which they had done. I saw Takashi and Rei. Kiriko was with them, helping the search. We got to them and began to help them search while trying to divert Alice's attention away from the destruction and death surrounding us. The place felt extremely warm from the fire that was close to surrounding us completely. The smoke was a thin grey veil in the large room, as opposed to the obscuring blackness it usually provided. I saw someone I recognised.

"Takashi!" I called, pointing towards a large shard of metal that had impaled a female form as I ran to help. Takashi's mother was still alive, but even just from looking at it; the piece of metal was far too large for us to be able to help her. I put my hand on it and tried to see if I could shift it anyway. It was hot to the touch and scorched my palms a little. Kioko was pinned to the floor, hands on the hot piece of dark green metal that had gone through her chest. Takashi bolted over to her. Blood was pooling underneath her.

"Takashi, I don't have much time left." She said weakly.

"Don't talk like that. We're going to get you out of here." Takashi said.

"Don't try to deny it. I can't move. Just listen." She whispered.

"Ok, mom." Takashi said. I'd never heard such a defeated tone in anyone's voice before.

"I love you. Always know that, and look after your group. They're good people and they need you to be strong for them. Promise me you can do that for me." She said.

"I-I promise." Takashi choked. He grabbed his mother's hand and she stopped breathing. She seemed to be at peace, a small smile on her face. Takashi squeezed her hand and let go. I had never seen him this vulnerable. Rei was still searching for her father, hurriedly now, we didn't have much time until the fire closed us in and lots of Them would be upon us shortly. I was beginning to feel sicker as the search continued. On the opposite side of the room, Rei found her father in a pile of bodies flung by the explosion of the impact. It seemed as though he had died instantly. She and her mother took a moment to swallow their sorrow. They would mourn later. Takashi saw this and followed suit. I couldn't hear anything but the roar of the flames and the groans of the incoming infected. We made our way back outside in a rush. It was then that I saw the real carnage from the crash. Most of the school had a large chunk torn out of it, pieces of the plane had been flung across most of the surrounding area, the wing had sliced into two neighbouring houses and the nose was crumpled into the ground by the other side of the school. I was mesmerized by the flames slowly devouring what was left of the school for a moment. I tore my eyes away and refocused. We were trying to avoid Them now, evidently in too much of a desperate state to co-ordinate combat. Even if they could have detected our heat or smell, the sensory overload they were most likely receiving from the catastrophe that surrounded Them. We came fairly close to a few of Them, but they gave us no notice whatsoever. We all walked in a line, side by side down the ruined streets, passing other survivors who didn't even glance at us. They were either rushing towards the school or putting distance between it and them. It was a very surreal sight to see: the living dead stumbling around the destroyed landscape and passing by their food source with no notice. They bumbled around, having some kind of knowledge that they were supposed to be here but unsure as to why. I continued pushing the battered cart, until someone saw my current physical state for what it was and took advantage of it. I was knocked to the ground with a heavy metallic object knocking the back of my head with a great deal of force. When I regained my senses, I saw that it was the perverted old man from outside of the school who had grabbed Saeko and passed the cart to one of his group who dashed off with it. My medication and my guitar were in there with some food and ammo. I whipped round to see other men grabbing the girls, except for Alice. They outnumbered us now, three to five. I only had the magazine I had loaded in my gun with me. I only had maybe three or four bullets left in it. They had taken the rest of our ammo. Zeke growled at them and arched his back. They had pistols trained on us with one hand, while the pervert I recognised fondled Saeko's body, taunting me. The other men started doing the same. I pulled my gun from the holster, growling. They took no action, believing this to be futile. Kohta and Takashi already had their weapons ready, but they didn't have the idea I had. There was only one thing we could do to get out of this alive, and the timing had to be perfect.

"Aim for the feet, go when I do." I whispered as quietly as I could. They couldn't hear me over their disgusting taunts and perverted comments to each other. I could see that Saeko was squirming against the sweaty pig of a man that was fondling her and sniffing her hair. She realised this was futile and stopped, having to trust us completely. I moved my aim on my pistol to the foot of the man grabbing Saeko, while Takashi aimed for the man grabbing Rei and Kohta aimed for the man holding Saya. We made our movements as subtle as we could and managed to get away with it. I gripped my pistol with both hands so tightly it was hurting my knuckles. I couldn't afford to miss, and with the last of my strength fading, it was going to be difficult. I put all of my effort into telegraphing my finger coiling around the trigger twice without pulling it to signal to Kohta and Takashi. They didn't understand. I repeated this motion and they caught on and mimicked the signal back. I fired as they did and Zeke bit the exposed ankle of the man holding Shizuka. Kohta, Takashi and I all snapped our aim to the man holding Rei's mother as quickly as we could, but we were too late.

Kiriko fell to the ground as the gunshot that killed her cracked across the air like thunder. I almost froze completely, but my first instinct was to shoot. I hit the man in the chest and he fell. Two more bullets left. I stood over the pervert that had taken Saeko; he was reaching for his gun. I smacked him with the handle my pistol, breaking his nose. I hesitated for a moment, sure of what to do next, but not wanting to do it. I took a moment to silence my thoughts and fired into his head. I walked to the next man who had violated Shizuka and executed him. The man who killed Kiriko was dying too. The bullet had pierced his lung. He was wheezing his last breaths now. The reality that I had just actively killed three more men had just set in. I trembled with the gun in my hand still. My energy and anger drained all at once. Rei dropped to the floor and bawled in mourning. Takashi and Kohta followed my lead, killing the two other men. I heard another girl crying now. Alice. I hadn't even given it a thought, but she had just seen the whole thing. She had just seen us kill five men as they violated and murdered Kiriko. She'd never trust me again. The adrenaline had worn off completely now. I was in a bad state and one of the dead's group had taken the medicine for my back with them. I was completely drained and far too destroyed to deal with anything, but Takashi was in an even worse state. He had just lost his mother, so I didn't blame him but I knew I didn't have a fun road ahead of me trying to hold everyone together while being inches away from death. I could tell that Takashi didn't want to manage anything for a while, which was fine, but it meant that they'd defer to me since I had just turned my back on compassion in favour of survival. While I had to do it, I had probably created a permanent rift between myself and the rest of the group. I didn't expect their forgiveness; I doubted I would ever forgive myself for this either. I holstered my pistol and pulled myself together; we still had to find a safe place to stay. With the way I was feeling, it would probably have to be a while. I attempted to get my bearings and figure out where we should be headed. I wasn't familiar with this side of town, but I knew there were some isolated areas not too far from here. With luck we might get there by nightfall. I approached Rei and extended my hand towards her. She took it and I helped pull her off of the street.

"We need to move, now. We can take time to rest and mourn once we find somewhere to stay." I said, trying to emphasize compassion in my voice. I did understand what they were going through, but we had to go before it got worse and I couldn't do that with making it clear that I was on their side. Saeko picked Alice up and carried her as she sobbed. We walked past the destruction and scraps of metal and broken buildings in a daze. I say walked, but it was more like I was dragging my body forwards with all of my will. I led us towards a hill on the outskirts of the city, full of lush grass and a dojo sat atop of it. It was a large building with traditional rooms with sliding doors for all of us to stay in and it was pretty isolated. Evidently the owner of this dojo lived far away from it; it hadn't been used in a while. We passed the lush grassy fields and I began to feel some kind of odd peace for a moment. It took me back to the times spent in Sensei Busujima's dojo, which had been extremely therapeutic for me.

"So long as we stay relatively quiet we shouldn't have too many problems." I said. I looked back towards the city. There was smoke rising from the school and I could see where one of the wings of the plane had sheared through part of an office block in the distance. I couldn't bring myself to continue looking. Each of the gunshots I had fired back on the streets had kept breaking the silence in my head. It kept making me flinch and the echo of the memory in my head gave me a headache as though the pistol was being fired from inside my head. Each time my mind repeated this, it shredded at a part of me. If this continued, staying sane, compassionate and strong would be impossible and I knew where this internal journey was leading. But I had pushed my body to the very limits of its capability to get here, and my sanity and integrity weren't far behind. I had taken just about as much as I could but I knew I still had to face up to more. My ankles wobbled and buckled beneath me. I collapsed and fell face first onto the wooden floorboards. The group had seen this and continued on without me. I seethed with anger and tried to pull myself up, but my strength was gone. I could only just lift my legs up slightly. I let myself drop, humiliated and exhausted. My back was killing me and I was feeling very feverish now. I wheezed sickened breaths of air and coughed painfully. I rested there for a while, thinking about how they had left me like this. My anger burned through me, I'd given them all I could. I'd even killed three men to keep them safe and this is what I got in return. I rested and let my anger consume me before I summoned some strength and attempted to get up again. I did so and took a small step forwards. As my foot touched the solid ground I collapsed again. I lay there tense and in all kinds of pain, barely able to move my fingers. After some more time, Shizuka came in to witness my pathetic state. She kicked a syringe towards me. I waited a little longer and regained enough strength to take the syringe. I injected myself with it, but I was sloppy and drew a lot of blood from the area around my vein before I managed it. I was shaking uncontrollably, completely unable of functioning for a few minutes before I was prepared to take small, weak steps to the hallway trailing off from the main room I had been collapsed in. This was where I had a chance to admire the dojo's interior. All made out of a dark brown wood, I would have said mahogany, but I knew nothing about that sort of thing. There were six rectangular wooden beams in the main room, three on either side. There were several scrolls of worn paper that were hung in crevices in the walls. They were outlining the principles of Bushido. There was another couple of racks of decorative and commemorative swords either for practice or signs of status. This was a fairly small dojo that I had heard nothing of before. I only knew that it was here as I had passed it walking around this area with my family a few times. The dojo was very minimalistic and traditional, as Saeko's father's dojo was. Only this one was a larger structure with rooms for living built in to it as opposed to the Busujima dojo, which had the family house right next to it. I passed through the hallway sliding the doors open to see which rooms didn't have occupants. All of them were taken. At the very end of the hallway there was one room that was empty on the right-hand side. The group had gathered in the room opposite. I could see their shadows from what was left of the sun passing through the building. I ignored them and took to my room. _"They can go fuck themselves._" I thought, bitterly. I had no dignity left, nor the strength to recover it yet. I found there to be a bed with a medical stand Shizuka must have taken from the hospital with an intravenous drip and a bag full of some medication also taken from the hospital. By the small nightstand next to the bed, I found a note.

"A little present. Hope it helps" It read. I took my shirt off and wrapped it around my bloodied arm. I waited for it to start absorbing the blood to make sure I wouldn't bleed on the sheets before dropping onto the bed. I put the drip in my arm after pricking myself with the needle several times and everything faded to black shortly afterwards.


	11. The Aftermath

**NB: I just wanted to apologise. Two halves of this chapter got spliced together mid sentence (probably due to ****some lazy editing on my part.) Meaning that this chapter made no sense, I've edited it now and I still have no idea how it happened. I'd recommend rereading this chapter; there's a lot more coming soon. Thanks for bearing with me. Enjoy!**

I awoke to the morning sun bleeding into my room. I saw the whole group around the foot of my bed. I was still pissed off at them, but they seemed to have dropped whatever issue they had with me. I decided to at least act as though I had too.

"Morning." I yawned.

"Should we tell him?" Shizuka giggled.

"Tell me what?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"You slept for a whole day!" She announced. My eyes widened.

"I guess you were pretty tired." Saya teased.

"You could say that, yeah." I agreed.

"What did you guys do for fun without me?" I joked.

"We went to find some supplies." Kohta said.

"Did you find much?"

"No, most of the places have been picked apart. After what happened at the school everyone's been needing supplies."

"Was there enough around here?"

"Yeah, there's enough food to keep us going. We're low on ammo now though."

"That's what I was afraid of."

"We'll see what we can find."

"Good, if you guys see any of the medicine I use for my back I'd be grateful if you could bring back as much as you can."

"I'll see what we can do."

"Don't worry too much yet. The morphine's holding me over for now." I said.

"Do you feel like walking? I made some breakfast and we can eat at the table if you can make it." Saeko suggested.

"Sure. I need to talk to Kohta alone for a minute first. I should probably be on the move if I can." I said, smiling.

"Ok. See you at the table." Saeko said, leading everyone out of the room. Kohta stayed.

"Everyone was pissed at me when we got here. You all ditched me. What's with acting like nothing happened now?" I asked.

"They're trying to put it aside and keep going. Takashi and Rei haven't said a word to anyone since we got here. They're not doing well. They need you to hold it together right now."

"I thought that might happen. How are you holding up? You weren't doing much better yourself when I last saw you."

"What do you mean?"

"The standoff with Yang's dad."

Kohta's face darkened.

"I knew I'd have to kill a man at some point. It's only going to get worse. But... It takes its toll."

"It's okay. I would have pulled the trigger if you hadn't. You only killed him through a technicality."

"That doesn't make it any better."

"I know. I killed three men the other day. That's not something I'm going to forget. But we have to accept that this is the world we're trapped in right now. We can try as hard as we can not to kill other humans, it's still going to happen."

"That's still not helping."

"Look, Kohta. You're a good person at your core. That's not going to change, no matter how much you get put through. The fact that you feel bad shows you're still going to be that good person throughout all of this. But we're going to have to keep doing this. It's unavoidable, but we all need you more than we could possibly tell you. It's our job to hold ourselves together."

He hung his head.

"Thank you."

"Come on, let's go get something to eat." I said, struggling to pull myself out of bed. I dragged the stand with the IV drip with me. It worked well as something to stabilise my walking with too. I took small, hesitant steps towards the kitchen. Kohta matched my pace and we reached the kitchen together. The group was congregating around a large wooden table. I felt like a child taking their first steps again as I awkwardly sat at the table. Saeko produced bowls of ramen and placed them in front of everyone.

"How did you cook this?" I asked.

"The same way you always cook ramen." Saeko said, confused.

"But the hob on the oven wouldn't work anymore, right? Or am I just being crazy?" I asked.

"Oh, we found a portable cooker that works with bottles of flammable spirits. It's not the best, but it does the job." Saeko explained. Saeko brought the last few bowls of food out and set them at the table. It smelled amazing. Everyone made their own sounds of approval at the food. Saeko took her place and we dug in.

The warmth of the food made me feel a lot better. I finished my food quickly.

"How are you feeling?" Shizuka asked.

"Better rested. Still weak though, feels like the beginning of a steep slope." I responded.

"You'll probably start going down that slope quickly today. The illness is short-lived but intense."

"Perfect." I said, sarcastically.

"At least you'll be feeling better again before long."

"Yeah. This stuff's good, by the way. Is it morphine?" I asked, pointing to the drip.

"Yes. I think we might have to use it as a substitute for your back medication until we find more."

"I don't have a problem with that." The morphine made all of the colours I was seeing seem a little brighter than usual and I was feeling a strange warmth from it. I felt an urge to lay in the grassy fields outside of the dojo. It was a beautiful spring day despite the rain we'd encountered a few days ago.

"How are you holding up?" I asked Alice.

"I'm ok." She said, bluntly. I looked at Rei and Takashi. They were both completely spaced out, staring at their food and picking at it a little without really eating it. I would have been worried about them, but I'd been through the same thing and I'd reacted similarly for a while. I just managed to push it aside for now, I knew it would come back to haunt me later. I sat at the table, waiting for everyone to finish their meal. There was an eerie silence now. We were all haunted by what had happened at the school and in this peaceful place, I couldn't help but have it come flooding back to me.

There was one thing I had the clarity to decide upon. I had to get to Hokkaido and find Yang. I couldn't atone for what I did to her father and the fact that I had lied to her about it made me feel worse. But I wanted her to trust me, and if she knew what had really happened she wouldn't be able to trust me. I recalled Tsai's wistful smile as he described his daughter to me. He knew he might not see her again. That crazy, stubborn bastard had nothing on me except for confidence in his bluff. If he could have just told me, I would have let him go. But there was no way he could have known that. If he confessed I would have been wielding all of the power. As long as he kept his bluff up and hoped I died first, he had a chance that he could count on more than the chance that I would have been merciful. In his eyes, at least. The bullet that hit him was a relief and a horrible weight on my soul at the same time. It wasn't the last life I took either. The three men from two days ago. They were pigs, but killing them was extreme. But that was different, Rei's mother was a demonstration that they would have killed us as soon as they could. I had zoned out completely.

"Tatsuzo? Are you ok?" Saeko asked. I looked down and saw that my hands were twitching severely.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I swallowed and felt a horrible pain in my throat. Shizuka was looking concerned now. I coughed into my hands. My throat was feeling really raw now. I heard Alice scream and I looked at my palms to see that they were covered in blood. Even Rei snapped out of her distant stare for a moment to look at me. I stood up and stumbled as I made my way for the hallway.

"Excuse me." I mumbled. Shizuka caught up to me and supported my side. I rested some of my weight on her and dragged myself into the room, hurriedly. I fell onto the bed and coughed blood again. It splattered the white bed sheets and some of the wooden floorboards. I was far beyond caring about that now. Shizuka dashed off to get some supplies. I heard Saeko trying to comfort Alice, unable to make out what she was saying over Alice's hysteria. I began convulsing on the bed and struggling to breathe. It felt as though a huge weight had been placed on my chest. My arms and legs were throwing themselves around uncontrollably. I heard an audible crack as I arched my back and kept convulsing. I saw what I presumed to be Shizuka re-enter the room, it was hard to tell as my spasms made clear vision impossible. I continued thrashing until I felt makeshift restraints hold me to the bed. I was now twitching furiously, feeling feverish and weak. Something penetrated my arm and the convulsions began to slow and stop. I blacked out completely.

When I regained my vision I saw no traces of anyone in the dojo. I looked around, still restrained in the bed. I saw something enter the room. It was a large creature with a tarantula-like body about the size of my torso and a disfigured human head, covered in yellow or greying skin in patches. Some of its skull was visible underneath the patchwork face. It crept into the room and its head made a full rotation before locking onto me. It hissed and crawled up the nearest wall. Each of its eight legs about the length of my arm, covered in hair. The top half of its head dislocated from the fixed lower jaw and revealed a long, thick purplish-black tongue, which darted out at me. It didn't quite reach me. The creature shrieked and scuttled at me, retracting its tongue. It approached the foot of the bed and crawled on top of me. The tongue came out again and brushed against my face. It felt wet and rough.

I snapped out of my nightmarish fever dream with a startled yell to be greeted with Zeke licking my face.

"What's wrong?" Shizuka asked concerned as she dashed into the room.

"Nothing. I had a nightmare."

"Long nightmare."

"What do you mean?"

"You've been out for five days."

"What?!"

"You slept your illness out."

"What happened?"

"You basically slipped into a coma."

"What?!"

"A coma."

"I... I know. I just..."

She nodded.

"A coma? For five days?"

"Pretty much. You were still displaying your symptoms the whole time. You would have thought someone had been murdered in here with the amount of blood you coughed everywhere!"

"Uh... Sorry, I guess. And thank you so much for looking after me."

"Don't worry. It's my job!"

"Are Takashi and Rei doing any better?"

"Still haven't said a word. Just staring into the distance."

"Damn it. How's everyone else?"

"Everyone else is ok. Except for being worried sick about you!"

"Where is everyone?"

"Trying to find ammunition. They should be back soon. How's your back?"

I tried to move a little. It was excruciating.

"It's killing me."

"I'll see what we can do about that. Anything else bothering you?"

"Not really, no. I feel pretty well rested, actually."

"You were doing nothing but sleeping and coughing blood for five days!"

"Shame I missed the party."

"You were the party!" Shizuka stepped out of the room for a while and came back with a syringe full of morphine. She injected it into me and the colours in my vision bloomed again. I got up and found myself able to walk properly for the first time in a while.

"I'm off for a walk. Want to join me?" I asked.

"Sure. Let me get Alice first."

"Alice is around here?"

"Well, they wouldn't bring her with them if they didn't have to. They wouldn't put her in danger with no need."

"Fair enough."

Shizuka returned with Alice holding her hand tightly. Alice looked afraid of me. My mind replayed the moment of me running around the school with Alice on my shoulders twinned with the moment I coldly executed the last of the three thugs and she had begun to cry. I felt awful; I had never wanted to subject her to that. I wanted to show her that it was ok. She looked at me as though I was a monster. The same way the small boy outside of the school had looked at me. I walked outside silently. Shizuka could tell that Alice's fear was bothering me a lot. I had killed four men, and they wouldn't be the last. I knew it was a necessity, but I wished with everything I could that it wasn't. It was still peaceful outside. The long grass was swaying gently in the light breeze. It was pretty warm outside and most of the flowers were in bloom. A few of the plants were beginning to wilt already. It just served as a reminder that nature doesn't need humanity. It created creatures whose sole purpose was to consume us, which were now roaming the city below us hungrily. Just as Shizuka had predicted, I could see the rest of the group approaching over the hill.

Kohta, Saeko and Saya were chatting happily as Takashi and Rei were behind them, holding hands but barely acknowledging the existence of the other. Kohta waved at me and smiled.

"How did you do?" I asked as they reached us.

"Pretty well. We got..." Saya trailed off as she looked at me and made a strange, nervous sound. I looked down to see I had forgotten to wear a shirt.

"My eyes are up here, Lady Saya." I said, trying to wind her up.

"Uh, s-sorry."

"Don't worry." She gulped and continued.

"We got a few boxes of pistol ammo for you and Saeko. A couple of bits and pieces for our other weapons and some food."

"Great."

"I've got something for you." Saeko said, grinning.

"Should I be worried?"

"Maybe..." She said, playfully. She led me into her room and handed me Tsai's double-barreled shotgun and a wooden training sword.

"You left this at the school. And the bokken is to check that you're ready to move around again." Saeko explained.

"Thanks." While part of me really didn't want to see the shotgun, I was grateful for it.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

"Ready for wha-" I began as she slammed a training sword into my chest. I was knocked back and crashed into the wall. I got up and backed away, putting the shotgun down before raising a guard. I was waiting for her to make a move first. She swung at my side and I deflected it easily. I backed away again into the main room, where the sparring is supposed to be done. I readied myself and blocked an extremely low strike but she raised her sword away before I could fully recover and struck the back of my neck gently, but with enough force to knock me over.

"You always act defensive when we spar. Attack me!" She said. I got up and raised my wooden sword again. She took a defensive stance and I swung a half-assed strike. Her block moved but wasn't broken. I knew how I could win against her now. I struck her block again, with more force and knocked her training sword to the ground. She looked surprised as it clattered against the wooden floor. I spun around and swept my leg underneath her. She fell, but I continued moving and outstretched my free arm to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Alright. Now let's try that again, shall we?" She said, brushing herself off. We both stood and raised our swords, neither of us taking a particular approach this time. We both threw opposite swings and met in the middle. She was striking vertically downwards whilst I was making a horizontal slice. I put my strength behind my sword to force hers away. She lowered her arm, but recovered quickly and threw a strike, which bounced off of my rushed attempt at a block. I attempted a diagonal slice. My sword made strong contact with hers, which rattled through my injured arm. She fired off a lot of quick strikes, which I struggled to keep up with, but managed to block out of luck. I kept up with her for a while, swinging when I could. My scratched arm was beginning to ache and weigh me down. I defended fairly well in spite of this until she hit my stomach and knocked me over.

"I never could keep up with you." I spluttered and coughed as I said this. She offered me her hand and helped me up.

"Thanks. I should probably talk to Takashi now; he's in a bad state."

"You should talk to Rei too."

"No, I know what she's like. That'll push her away more."

I walked into my room.

I was dying for a smoke now. I couldn't find my lighter or the packet of cigarettes. I walked outside to see Takashi smoking.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Why do you care?" He said, aggressively.

"I don't mind. Just didn't think you were the type."

"I wasn't. I didn't think you would be either."

"I'm full of surprises."

He laughed lightly.

"That's true."

He took a drag and coughed a lot.

"You need some practice."

"No shit." He coughed.

"You'll get there. Can I take my stuff back? I'm in the mood for lighting up myself."

"Sure." He handed me the lighter and packet of cigarettes.

"I've got spares around somewhere. I'll give you what I've got if you take to it."

"I've been doing this for a few days." I looked at the packet. He'd smoked more than I would have usually.

"Damn. You're going through these quickly."

"What does it matter?"

"It doesn't. I'm not judging. It's just better not to get addicted."

He snorted.

"Hypocrite."

"I'm not addicted. I'm on maybe three or four a day. I don't really need it." I said, defensively.

"Whatever you say."

I lit up and took a drag.

"That's how you do it." I teased, blowing the smoke out again.

"Shut up!"

"I'm just teasing. You'll get there. I was the same for the first couple of weeks."

"I thought you'd start giving me an earful about responsibility and all that shit."

"I'm not about all that. Besides, I had the same thing from everyone I know. I'm not perfect, but I'm no hypocrite. I can't stand hypocrisy. Everyone else in the group will give you the responsibility crap themselves. I don't need to say anything."

"Why are you here?"

"I want to help you out."

"With what?"

"Your depression. You haven't said a word to anyone except me or Rei in almost a week."

"Do I need to?"

"No. You just need to get yourself together and accept it."

"My mother died in front of my eyes! How can you say that?"

"Because I went through the same thing! I lost my parents and my sister! I didn't do this."

"They weren't your real family though were they, Levi?"

"Fuck you. They were more my family than my actual parents ever were!"

"That doesn't make them your real parents."

"No. But they were my real family."

"You know nothing about the pain of losing your real mother."

"She'd lost herself to heroin long before I was born. She was lost from the moment she gave birth to me. Stop being so melodramatic. I know your pain. I'm not thrusting responsibility on you, but you owe it to everyone to hold your own shit together. At least until you're alone. Then you can do whatever the hell you want. It's not like I care."

I walked away and lit a new cigarette. I puffed at it furiously. I had never finished a full cigarette so quickly before.

I stomped it out and went back inside, storming past Takashi. I needed to talk to Saeko, she knew how to calm me. I placed my cigarettes and lighter back in my room in a different place. I was fuming and feeling unstable. The men I had killed were still haunting me. I put my hands to my face and felt rough stubble. I took a shaver I had taken from the mall that had ended up in the other cart. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I turned the tap on and splashed water on my face. I shaved my face and turned the tap on again to rinse the hair off of the blades and the few strands that clung to my face. A small trickle of a few droplets came out before it stopped completely. Out of running water now too. I took the razor blades out of the shaver and bashed them against the sink to clear them. I clutched at one and held it to my arm. I cut with it and that familiar pain should have returned once again. The feeling of the cold metal slicing against my skin was sharp and sudden, like a large and far more severe paper cut. But it wasn't there. I cut desperately, the lack of pain worrying me. The sound of my pistol firing started echoing in my mind again. I made an incision each time my senses reminded me of the men I had killed. I was in a frantic state. I stopped myself and looked at my arms. There were fresh, bleeding cuts overlapping with my existing scars. Blood flowed down both of my arms. I had done it more frantically than usual, no hesitation marks and the cuts were rough and disjointed. I waited for the blood flow to slow down and rushed to the room to apply some bandages that Shizuka had left in my room. After a while, the cuts stopped bleeding and I threw shirt and hoodie on to cover the bloodstained bandages on my arms.

I still didn't feel a thing. Clarity was returning and I realised that it was probably because of the morphine. I stopped panicking and took a moment to calm down before leaving the room. Saeko was in her room, polishing her sword.

"Did you get cold?" She asked me, looking up from her sword. It took me a moment before I realised she was talking about my covering up.

"Yeah. The fever's stopped now, so I'm not as warm." I lied. I hadn't really felt feverish since I'd woken up.

"Poor little Tatsuzo." She said, condescendingly.

"How was your talk with Takashi?" She asked.

"Not great. He did start speaking, but not in the way I hoped. I don't blame him; he still needs some time."

"And Rei?"

"I said I wasn't going to talk to her. She's just going to get more distant if we do."

"I don't think that's possible."

"You'd be surprised. We all have further to fall."

"What's wrong? I can tell something's bothering you."

"I killed three men right in front of Alice, and now she's terrified of me."

"She'll forgive you eventually. She saw her father killed in front of her, she'll begin to trust you again with time."

"But I've burned that bridge already. It'll never be the same again. I'm not going to forgive myself anyway." Saeko grabbed my arm and began to try and roll my sleeve up. I pulled away.

"Did you...?" She asked.

"I think you know the answer. You don't have to look to be sure." She gave a resigned sigh.

"I think I have the right to lose my mind a little. I took the lives of three men."

"You had to."

"That's never going to make it better."

"Maybe not. But I can still accept you. But you can't let this get any worse, otherwise no-one will."

"I've not been accepted since before we got here."

"We were all hurt and we took it out on you. Takashi had too much going on and you basically stepped up to his position. That made you our stress outlet instantly. It might not have been the right thing, but that's what we did. Takashi would have done the same thing. There were five men killed on the street that day. You weren't alone then and you aren't now."

"I don't think the idea of him doing the same thing is much of a comfort with his current state."

"He's not that damaged is he?"

"He's almost as bad as I am."

Saeko's eyes widened.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm going to take him out of here for the day tomorrow morning. Maybe raising hell in the city and talking stuff out will do the trick."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean grabbing supplies and doing a bit of destructive venting. Smash some things up."

"You think that's a good idea?"

"Yeah, we'll be cautious. Besides, it's been almost a week since the plane crashed. It has to be quieter around the city by now."

"There have been a lot less of Them around the city over the past few days..."

"Plus, we might be able to find a way to get to Hokkaido. I don't care if it's with a canoe. I have to get there." Saeko gave a small giggle.

"You're determined to get there, aren't you?"

"Whatever it takes. I'll die to get all of you there if it comes to that. I owe it to you, Alice, Shizuka, Rei, Kohta, Saya and Yang. I even owe it to Takashi."

"Of course!" She exclaimed.

"What?"

"You want to get there for Yang."

"That, and because it's safe there."

"How do you know that?"

"Because none of us have any reason to be here right now otherwise."

"You really believe that?"

"I have to. It's all I've got."

"That's not true. We've all got each other."

"That might have been true at first, but all I've done is hold us back and drive a wedge between everyone."

"What makes you think that?"

"I wondered how things would have been different if I'd blown my brains out in the mall. Or even earlier. The group I was with would still be alive. They would have taken you in, or some of them would have come with you at least. You would have gone to the police station earlier, and the school. You would have got on an earlier plane; one that didn't crash. Rei and Takashi wouldn't have lost their parents. Yang's father would still be alive. Those men wouldn't have attacked you. You would have gotten to Hokkaido and waited in safety with everyone else for this thing to die out. I would know for certain that you'd all live. Alice wouldn't have seen anyone get killed except for Them."

"But..." She paused, unable to fault much in my explanation.

"Exactly. I thought it through. I wish I could find a logical issue with that, but it's true. It makes me fear how much further I'll drag you all down with me before you see I'm basically dead weight and let me go. And I'm just as terrified of dragging you all down as I am of you guys letting go." Saeko didn't say anything. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. I cuddled her for a good while before she spoke again.

"No matter what, we're not letting go. You should have seen how we all were when you were sick. We had no idea if you'd live, or if you'd wake up. Everyone was a mess. Even me." She said. I brought her even closer. I wanted to kiss her again, but I didn't.

"I'd better go talk to Takashi. Tell him about tomorrow. I'll get Kohta to come with us." I said after a while. She sniffed and nodded as she wiped her eyes. I didn't want to go, but I loosened my grip before I took my arms away completely and stood up. I found Takashi on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have said that. You've been the group punching bag long enough. It's not fair on you. I'll take my place again from now." He said. The last part sounded reluctant.

"You don't have to do that. If you're not ready for those responsibilities yet I can hold on a little longer. Take the time you need. I don't want to make it seem like I don't care, because I understand completely. We're all dealing with our own issues right now. I was going to suggest you, Kohta and me go into the city and get some therapy. Do some damage, act a little stupid, grab anything we might need and come back."

"That actually sounds great. Thanks."

"We'll get a chance to hang out a bit. I know you the least out of anyone in the group aside from Saya."

"Yeah, I suppose that's true. You're a mystery to me too if it's all the same."

"So you're in?"

"Sure." He smiled.

"I'll go tell Kohta. We'll just go some time in the morning. Whenever we're ready."

He nodded. I found Kohta at the dining table stripping my pistol apart and putting it back together. Alice was watching, fascinated.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Checking the condition of the gun. I'll have to show you how to do it." He explained. He didn't even glance up at me.

"Sounds important."

"It is. What are you here for?"

"Does there need to be a reason?"

"Not really. It's just a little..." He paused as he finished putting the gun together.

"...distracting." He finished as he put the gun on the table.

"Sorry. I just wanted to let you know Takashi and I are planning on going into the city tomorrow to blow off some steam and I wondered if you wanted to join us."

"What'll we be doing?" I shrugged.

"I'm not sure, really. Just smashing stuff up and taking anything we need."

"Fair enough. Sounds like a good way to unwind in this world."

"Exactly. So would you want to come along?"

"Yeah. Why not?" He said, excitedly.

"Great. We're going some time in the morning. Whenever we're all ready."

"Perfect." Kohta picked up Saya's submachine gun and started a similar process to before. I left the room and I heard Alice start talking again. Zeke was padding around the hallway and barked when he saw me. I picked him up and scratched his belly. He rolled around in my arms, obviously enjoying it. I looked up and saw Rei giving a small smile. I smiled back. She stepped forwards and hugged me. I pulled away and put Zeke down before I hugged her back.

"It'll get better, trust me." I said, comfortingly. She nodded and held tighter. I was having a little difficulty breathing with how hard she was squeezing me. She realised this and let go eventually. I hated seeing her this broken. Even with what I had gathered about what had happened back at the school, she'd been strong in the face of losing her boyfriend Hisashi. She carried on to Takashi's room, obviously having needed whatever it is she had gained from our brief encounter.

Dusk was approaching now, so I decided to light some candles. I checked the matchbox to see that we were pretty low on matches. I took my lighter instead. I opened it to check the lighter fluid, also needing a refill shortly. I lit the candles scattered around the place.

"Where did you get that lighter and why didn't you tell us you had it sooner?" Saya asked. I was startled and nearly burned my hand with the lighter as I jumped a little.

"I got it back at the mall. It's low on fluid now though."

"Why is that? It shouldn't be low already if you're just lighting a few candles." I just looked at her. She could figure this one out herself. She still wasn't getting it. I mimed smoking a cigarette with a sigh.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Just kind of started doing it. Does there have to be a reason for everything?"

"There should be. It comes down to science and logic."

"I was a psychology student. There are behaviours we'll never understand as long as our race exists. Science and logic can't explain the unscientific and illogical. Explain all of this then." I gestured outside.

"There's a bacterium working with a parasite. The parasite kills those weakened by the bacterial infection and reanimates those killed by it."

"The dead brain wouldn't respond to the parasite. Even if it gave off electrical impulses somehow, it would just cause some kind of spasms, not reanimation."

"But it does. It has to."

"Well, explain this for me. Why do they eat people?"

"To spread the parasite."

"Not why they bite. They eat people completely too. You saw the picked apart bones and dead animals they were eating."

"For nutrition to keep going."

"Their digestive systems are completely dead. They don't need energy. They just keep going anyway. They eat things for no reason."

"How do you know there's no reason?"

"Because I saw one before I met you that had eaten so much its stomach had burst and its contents kept spilling out. It kept eating anyway. It wasn't processing anything at all and it was still eating. We've never known anything about science really. One discovery could prove everything we've ever known completely wrong. Science is on the edge of a knife, balancing between answering all of our fundamental questions and being completely wrong. Not everything needs a reason. No matter how far we get, there's still no explanation for some things." Saya's face dropped.

"It's instinct, Saya. Why do they have that instinct with no purpose? That's the truly terrifying thing about Them. They want to eat us for no reason other than to destroy us, they get no pleasure in the hunt, no sense of taste from eating things to drive Them to do it again, but they still do it." Saya looked shocked at this revelation.

"I suppose you're right."

"I guess the score's one all now. I told you this wasn't over." I teased. She smiled, but she seemed troubled by the thoughts that were now passing through her mind after this observation. I felt guilty then.

"Hey, don't overthink this. As long as we stay strong and survive, it doesn't matter." I said, calmly.

"Don't worry about me now. I'm just trying to think of a good answer. And I will. Just you wait..." She said, perking up again.

"Oh, I'm excited to hear what you come up with now!"

"I might be a while, but it'll be worth it." She said, determination in her face.

"I don't doubt it. You're a genius, remember?" She shoved me.

"Don't mock me!"

"I meant it too. You're way smarter than anyone else I've known. If anyone can get an answer, it's you."

"Damn right!" I was beginning to really admire her persistence and confidence, it really lifted my spirits. I left the candles and searched around for something to do.

I found a small notepad, clueless as to how it got here. I opened it up to see writing on the inside page.

"Just some things I've come up with. I'm excited to see what you do with it. Rei." It read. There was a pen inside the small metal coil holding the pages together. I flipped through the pages to see lyrics that Rei had written. They were poetic and beautiful. I soaked them in and studied them carefully. I considered myself decent at lyricism, but this was on a whole other level and I seemed to be incapable of writing anything other than abstract ramblings in Japanese. I noted down the first melody I had unwittingly improvised along with some of the music that had accompanied the lyrics I recognised from earlier, unable to write anything new since my guitar had been taken. I took the back pages to write some lyrics in English that I was beginning to come up with. Playing off of the themes that Rei's had touched upon in some of her words along with some more original ideas of my own. I also wrote down translations for the words Rei had already written in Japanese. In English the rhyming and flow of the words weren't quite right, but it was a fair reflection of Rei's writing nonetheless. I wrote deep into the night and fell asleep with the notepad resting on my face, and the pen still in the loose grip of my hand.


	12. Recovery

**NB: Just another PSA to say that the previous chapter had messed up. If any of you read it got confused and didn't come back to it after I fixed it, I'd recommend doing so. Thanks for reading and enjoy.**

I awoke startled, in a cold sweat. I had dreamt about that horrific spider creature again. I rubbed my neck. It felt as though the spider had bitten me as it had done in my dream. I looked out to see that the sun had only just risen. I fumbled for a cigarette and a lighter. I went outside for a smoke. That damned thing was so realistic. Smoking the cigarette helped me to draw the line between the nightmare and reality. I stopped shaking as I finished the cigarette and went back inside. No signs of anybody else being awake yet. I rubbed my eyes and looked up to see Rei. Her hair looked a bit disheveled.

"You scared me for a moment. You're totally silent!" I said, recovering from the momentary heart attack she had practically induced in me. She still didn't say anything.

"I don't see why you're still being silent." I said. I passed her in the hallway and took the notebook and pen from my room and came back to her.

"Your turn." I said, smiling as I handed them to her. She smiled back.

"I couldn't get anything new down without a guitar. I'm going into the city today, I'll get one if I can. But only if you promise me you'll start talking again when we get back." Rei sighed, rolled her eyes and nodded reluctantly.

"Why are you up this early?" She ripped a blank page out of the notebook and wrote down

"You need to take watch now. It'll be a while before anyone else is up. I've been on watch for most of the night. We change shifts at sunrise. I'm going to bed."

"Oh, I had no idea. Lucky you didn't have to wake me up mute."

"I have my ways." She wrote with a wink. I smiled.

"I don't understand you sometimes. Goodnight... Or morning or whatever." She giggled quietly.

I grabbed Tsai's shotgun and loaded it. I slung it over my back with the strap and stood outside the dojo. I scanned the horizon to see three of Them shuffling up the lower part of the hill. I ran back inside and grabbed my katana before rushing back out again. There weren't many of Them and I could test if carrying the shotgun would weigh me down in combat now. I unsheathed the blade and walked down to meet Them. One of Them noticed me, locked its empty gaze on me and groaned. I got to the foot of the hill and took a swing. The blade passed through one of Them with almost no resistance. I cut off the head of the closest one and sliced at the next one, taking its arm. The cut was the cleanest I'd ever seen; even through the bone. I stabbed through its head with even more ease than the cut. I launched myself at the last one, driving the sword through its chin and seeing the blade come out of the top of its skull. In death it became more limp than it had been in undeath. I removed the sword. The shotgun hadn't weighed me down at all. I would ensure to keep my pistol with me in future for backup. Using the katana sent a sharp pain down my arm, that didn't distract me, but drove me to fight even harder.

I waited out the next few hours alone with my thoughts. We had no more company for the rest of my watch. I saw one or two more stumble past the foot of the hill, but it seemed like the three from earlier had only approached out of chance. I went back inside as I saw everyone getting up. I threw my hoodie and cap on and took my pistol and fitted the holster to my waist. Kohta emerged carrying Alice.

"You ready to go?" He asked.

"Way ahead of you." I said. He grinned.

"I'm looking forward to this."

"Me too."

Takashi appeared too.

"Ready."

"Ok. Let's say our goodbyes and get moving when you want to." Kohta said.

"Yeah. Might be good to get what we need and bring it back before we do anything else." Takashi suggested.

"Good idea." I agreed. Out of nowhere, Saeko threw herself at me. I hugged her tightly.

"Be careful." She said.

"I will." Takashi gave me a jealous look. She kissed my cheek.

"I'll see you tonight." She smiled.

"We're coming back with supplies first. I'll see you then." Kohta put Alice down and she hugged him and Takashi. Saeko pulled away, she seemed in high spirits.

"Bye!" She called, waving to Kohta and Takashi. Alice looked at me, seemingly unsure of what to do. I crouched down and hugged her. She didn't react.

"I'm so sorry for what I did, but I'd do it again. I did it to protect you. I hope you can forgive me." I said, quietly. She sniffed and hugged me back. I felt her heave as she sobbed.

"It's ok. Be happy. We'll get back tonight and everything will be fine, yeah?"

"Yeah." She said. I let go and stood up. Rei, Shizuka and Saya all met us in the hallway and hugged each of us. We set off in higher spirits than we were before leaving.

We made our way down the hill. I put a cigarette in my mouth and handed one to Takashi. I used the lighter to light both of our cigarettes. Kohta looked a little surprised, but not judgmentally. We took drags and headed towards the ruined city. As we got closer out of our secluded paradise, we saw more evidence of others. Bloodstains, bullet casings and even dents in the concrete from gunshot impact were common. We passed a man who had shot himself in the head while resting against a tree trunk. The man had carved the words "Remember me" into the bark above the remains of his head. We carried on, seeing deserted cars and twisted bicycle frames. I couldn't stand it. We passed a convenience store and saw that it had been picked apart completely. The glass was shattered and bloodstained. Some idiot must have cut themselves on the glass as I had done in the museum. I saw a small number of candy bars and snacks left on the shelves still. We went in and looked at the stock. Most of it was out of date or useless. We grabbed a few small bits of food.

"Of course! We should check the stockroom. The stuff that's in date will be in there if no-one's taken it." I said.

"Good idea." Takashi said, taking a drag from his cigarette. He didn't cough this time.

"Hey, you're getting better at that." I remarked. He smiled proudly. Kohta shook his head.

"What?" I asked.

"I just think it's stupid."

"There are bigger threats than lung cancer out there, especially now."

"Maybe, but suppose you did get it. We've got no medicine to ease the pain and no way of knowing if you had it."

"That's fair enough. But even these will run dry soon. I give it a year. I'm quitting without having to even try!" I said.

"That's fair enough, I suppose." Kohta said.

"Anyway, let's get this stock cupboard open. The key's probably with the owner. We'll have to try it the old fashioned way." I pressed my weight against the wooden door. It felt feeble enough for us to get through. I swung the stock of my shotgun at the door with as much force as I could gather with my aching arm. I felt it budge, but it stayed shut.

"Fuck. That hurt." I said through gritted teeth.

"Let's try it together, yeah?" Takashi suggested. I nodded and steeled myself to give another blow to the door. I stepped back and waited for Takashi to signal. He did so and we both struck the door with our weapons. It rattled and loosened from the hinges, but didn't break. I threw a kick at the door in frustration. It swung open as the shock ran through my leg. I grimaced at my own stupidity.

"Not my best idea." I said, grasping my leg tightly as it felt ready to buckle.

"Hey, it got us in."

"I wasn't expecting it to. My arm can't take much more punishment right now." I said, flexing my left hand, the bandages covering the deep cut from the museum made it feel stiff. We couldn't see much in the stock cupboard, but there were more candy bars and a couple of foods that might help sustain us a little more, still mostly snacks. Although there was also lighter fluid and cheap plastic lighters and some cigarettes. I took the lighter fluid a couple of lighters and two packs of cigarettes.

"Almost wasn't worth it." I remarked, still frustrated.

"Hey, it's better than nothing." Kohta said.

"True. I just wish there was more. It's not enough to keep going really." I said as I threw a pack of cigarettes and one of the lighters to Takashi.

"We've got enough for now." Kohta reasoned.

"True, but if this is all that's left in other places like this..."

"Can't we just stay positive for one fucking day?" Takashi snapped.

"Ok. I'll drop it." I apologised.

"Thank you. What else do we need?"

"I need back medicine. Relying on morphine won't end well. I told Rei I'd get a guitar in exchange for her to start talking again. Maybe just whatever ammo, food and water we can find elsewhere. Mainly water. We're out of running water in the dojo at least." I said. Takashi nodded.

"Anything else you can think of?" He asked.

"Maybe any useful luxuries we can find, the group's in low spirits right now. Anything we can have some fun with really. Oh, and any form of transport that could get us to Hokkaido." I added.

"Kohta, any suggestions?"

"Uhh, maybe some silencers if we can find any. Moving silently is going to be key if we're getting to Hokkaido. I can't imagine we're the only ones with that idea."

We left the convenience store and roamed the mostly empty streets of the city for anything we could. We encountered a few of Them as we approached a drugstore. I unsheathed my katana. My arm was pretty sore from the combat while I was on watch and attempting to knock the door down. Kohta and Takashi both knew this and covered my sides closely. I sliced through the air and took an arm off of one of Them. I spun and sliced into its head. I pulled the katana out and took to another one, stabbing its eye as Takashi and Kohta clubbed at some others that came at them. Takashi went to town on one of their heads, repeatedly smashing until the gore was ground into the concrete. Kohta put his rifle into one of their mouths. It flailed its arms, unable to reach him. He fired twice and brain matter splattered the brick house behind them. I held my katana to my side, breathing heavily. My arm was aching a little, but I knew the painkillers I'd take in the store would help. We entered the store and my eyes first fell upon a man hyperventilating against the counter. The shelves were mostly empty, but the pharmacy section was untouched as far as I could tell. I approached the man.

"What do you need?" I asked.

"Blood thinner." He said, weakly.

"Cardiac problems?"

He nodded, clutching his chest.

"Do you know the name of what you take?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Do you know where the key is?" He opened his hand to show the small silver key. I grabbed it and rounded the counter. I unlocked all of the drawers and took any blood thinners I could find.

"Any of these look familiar?" I asked, displaying a packet of each. He nodded and pointed at one of the packets.

"Water." He gasped as I handed him the pill. I took the lid off of the bottle of water I was carrying and handed it to him. He took a sip and swallowed the pill.

"You know your stuff." Takashi remarked.

"Yeah, how do you know all that?" Kohta asked.

"Hyun was a pharmacist and I had a weekend job at a place like this for a while." I said. As I said it, memories of sitting at the dinner table and talking to my dad about the various drugs I had to dispense and what it helped with flooded back. I pushed the memory away and took the medication I needed for my back, both painkillers and ointment. I had enough to last a few months. I threw it into a carrier bag and took a few more empty bags for anything else we might find. I grabbed a lot of deodorant and put it in another bag. I got looks from Takashi and Kohta.

"No running water anymore. We need some way to smell passable, right?" I said. They nodded and grabbed even more and some women's cans for the girls.

I picked up some insulin and almost put it in a bag.

"Why do we need that?" Takashi asked. I stared at the insulin in my hands for a moment, before my sense returned and I put it back.

"We don't. Li was diabetic." I choked, thinking of my sister. I remembered one night when Li woke up late and came into my room, distressed.

_"Why are you still up?" I asked blearily._

_"Can't sleep."_

_"Why not?"_

_"I'm scared."_

_"Scared of what?"_

_"Of something bad happening." I got up and hugged her close._

_"Nothing bad's going to happen to you. You're seven years old. You don't need to worry. That's what mom and dad are here for."_

_"You don't know that."_

_"Yes I do."_

_"How?"_

_"Because I'm your brother, and I'll never let anything bad happen to you."_

_"You can't say that. You don't control everything."_

_"That's true, but being a big brother gives you a power, sort of like being a superhero."_

_"What kind of power?" _

_"The power to do everything I can to protect you, no matter what. That's what I can guarantee. I'll always do whatever I can to keep you safe."_

I hadn't been truthful with myself recently, losing my family had hurt me more than I could possibly know and instead of acknowledging this, I had been acting cold and distant. I had lost myself in attempting to deny that any of this was real by being detached. I acted like I was through all of the desperation and grief already, but I wasn't. I returned to my senses and helped the man to his feet.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"No need for names, I have to go now."

"Do you have a group to get back to?"

"Yes, my family is barricaded in a house not too far from here."

"Do you think you could make it there alone?"

He nodded.

"I'm well armed and it's not very far."

"I'll come out and cover you, just in case."

"Thank you."

I rested my hand on the grip of my pistol and walked outside with the mystery man.

"It's all clear. We're just down there." He said, pointing a few houses down from the store.

"Ok, stay safe."

"You too." He smiled before he turned his back and walked to the house. I came back into the store.

"Have we got everything we need?" I asked.

"Yeah." Takashi said, slipping a box of condoms into his pocket subtly. I saw but didn't mention it. But Kohta saw it too and called him out on it.

"You need some protection?" Kohta asked with a wink. Takashi turned red and stuttered.

"I-I... It was for... You never know..." He blundered. I took pity on him.

"We can give him shit for it when he's able to speak again." I said, giving Kohta a high five and grinning.

"I suppose it's only fair." Kohta agreed. Takashi looked frustrated with himself.

"Alright, let's get out of here." I said, grabbing the bags and stepping out of the store. Takashi and Kohta followed.

"Hey, you never answered us earlier. Who do you think looked best in their swimsuit?" Takashi prompted, beginning to return to a more normal skin tone.

"Hmm. Probably Saeko."

"Come on, you're really going to give that answer. You're obviously into her. What about Saya?" Kohta asked.

"Screw that, what about Rei?" Takashi argued. I put my face in my hands and shook my head.

"All of the girls looked good. But the answer is always going to be completely biased." I said.

"What?" Kohta asked.

"You're clearly into Saya, so you said she looked the best. Takashi's in whatever it is that's going on with him and Rei, so he obviously chose her." I stated.

"Fine. It was Saeko." Takashi confessed.

"Hey, make your mind up. You can't have it both ways." I said.

"He wishes he could..." Kohta teased.

"That's why he took those condoms!" I joked. Kohta laughed, but it seemed to get on Takashi's nerves.

"I'm just attracted to her. There's nothing else between us." He said, embarrassed again.

"Well, you don't need to tell us that. Tell her. She's pretty confused right now." I said. Takashi's eyes widened.

"I had no idea."

"Come on, it's pretty obvious."

"I thought she liked you..."

"So did she, until all of this."

"I really don't need some kind of stupid love triangle right now." He groaned.

"None of us do, that crap can stay in the movies. She might still need to sort her thoughts out, but you telling her will probably help." He smiled and nodded.

"Sorry, I didn't want to put you in a strange position."

"Don't worry, I've been in worse. Besides, it's not your fault." I said.

"So... What's going on? I don't get it." Kohta said, scratching his head to emphasize his confusion.

"It's pretty confusing. Rei and Takashi have... Whatever it is they've got going on, but Saeko isn't sure how she feels about me or Takashi, because she saw things differently." I tried to explain.

"I think I get it. I thought she liked you though?" Kohta enquired.

"Apparently she did before everything went down. I hadn't worked my own feelings out then, but she'd never told me anyway."

We found a relatively small store belonging to some supermarket chain as we discussed this.

"I bet there'll be more in the way of food and water in here." I said. I looked onto the window to see lots of Them stumbling through the aisles mindlessly. There was an eerie quality to the stillness as they bumbled through the store. One of Them was unintentionally pushing a cart. I pointed at it.

"See, they're brainwashing us with all these products." I said, sarcastically impersonating a conspiracy theorist. The creature moaned, almost as if punctuating my joke. Kohta and Takashi sniggered. I drew my katana once again.

"There's way too many to kill. We just knock Them over and keep moving, grab as much as we can and run. I'll go for water, Takashi, you and Kohta get as much food as you can." I said. Kohta and Takashi agreed. I led as we stormed into the store. I knocked the first one of Them I came across into the shelf it was stood next to. The sound got the attention of the others. I threw a kick to the chest of another one while striking another with my katana to knock it over. I was clear to grab as many bottles of water as I possibly could, throwing the bottles into a bag while I looked over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't taken by surprise. I heard Takashi clubbing some of Them with his shotgun as Kohta took any useful food he could find. I couldn't see where they were and the shelf was now fairly short on water, having taken as much as I could possibly carry. I felt like it was good that I was unable to take everything, meaning that other survivor groups might have a chance to take what they needed too. I was carrying two plastic carrier bags full of water. The bags were pretty heavy and I saw more of Them closing in on me. I had dropped my guard by losing myself in thought. I switched one of the carrier bags to my left hand so that my right was free to use the katana. I tried to knock Them back as best I could, but with only one hand behind my swings they proved far weaker. I knocked a few of Them back before I was pinned by one. Its warm breath hit me right in my face, smelling of dead meat while its rubbery, greying skin slipped against the polished floor as it tried to grab me. I scrambled for my pistol, put it in the creature's mouth and fired. There was a momentary silence as I realised I had just guaranteed my own death and more of Them began to approach, groaning. I pushed the thing off of me, the hole in its head leaking a stream of thick, and dark red blood. I threw the limp body into one of the shelves and put all of my weight behind it. The shelf wobbled and I threw myself into it. It fell and I clambered onto it, I saw Takashi and Kohta bolting for the exit as Kohta looked down the scope of his rifle, trying to find me. I summoned as much energy as I could and got out of the door just behind them. We kept running until we got what we considered a safe distance away from the store. Kohta was hunched over and panting heavily.

"Sorry. I got pinned." I said.

"Don't worry about it. But don't... don't expect me to do that again any time soon." Kohta said, taking pauses between words to breathe. I slapped him on the back.

"Did you get enough?" I asked.

"More than enough. You?" Takashi said, brandishing carrier bags fit to burst with food.

"Luckily I got everything I could before I got pinned." I said, showing the two plastic bags full of water. Takashi laughed, happily.

"Let's take this stuff back and have some fun." Takashi grinned.

"I've got to grab a guitar first. You ready to move yet?" I asked Kohta.

"Just one more minute..." He said. He took a few more breaths and straightened up again. I handed him a bottle of water and took one for myself, offering one to Takashi. Takashi took it too.

"I haven't had anything to drink in so long..." He said. My throat felt like it was constricting itself and it was completely dry and barren. Gulping the water greedily, the discomfort gradually lessened. I gasped as I took the bottle away from my mouth for a moment to breathe. I took a few more controlled sips before I put the cap back on. There was an empty music shop just around the corner, a small unassuming place that was probably a converted house. It seemed relatively untouched by the chaos outside. I smashed the window with my shotgun and grabbed a black acoustic guitar with a strap and slung it over my shoulder. Nothing. Strangely silent. I came back out, smiling.

"Alright. Let's go." I said.

We silently began to move back to the dojo. I stared into the horizon, not lost in thought or in my surroundings. The area around us passed my vision as a blur. I was frustrated at myself for letting my guard down in the store again, as I had done in the alley on the way to the hospital. I carried on, gazing past everything. We approached the hill and I shook myself out of my trance. I became present again, feeling the spring breeze brush across me. We got into the dojo, my leg was still giving me trouble from breaking the door to the stock cupboard. I opened the container of painkillers for my back and took one with a sip of water. I put the carrier bags down, taking the packets of cigarettes and dividing them equally between Takashi and me. I kept some of the cheap lighters in my pocket and grabbed a couple of deodorant cans from my stash. Takashi looked at me knowingly. I grinned in anticipation of our upcoming rampage through the city. I knocked on the door to Rei's room. There was no answer. I slid the door open and knocked again, still no answer. I looked inside for a place to rest the guitar where she would see it and looked up to see her in matching peach coloured underwear. I walked out of the room.

"Sorry!" I exclaimed. She came to the door, now fully clothed. I showed her the guitar.

"Will you start talking now?" I asked.

"Fine." She sighed.

"Ok. I'm really sorry about that. I did knock. I thought you weren't in."

"It's ok. I guess I didn't hear you. Sorry you had to see that."

"I'm not complaining. Consider it payback for when I woke up." I said, sheepishly. She blushed.

"Well, I got that guitar for you. We can write some music together when we get back tonight if you want." I suggested with a shrug.

"That sounds great."

"Good. I know you have a lot on your mind. You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. I'm going to talk to the others and get going now." I said, hugging her.

"Take care." I left her room and saw Takashi talking to Saeko, it seemed they were talking about something pretty serious. I looked on and Alice dashed past me, giggling as Kohta waddled after her making monster-like sounds. Saya approached me, smiling at the sight.

"What's up?" Saya said.

"Nothing. I'm just kind of distracted." I said, trying to put the image of Rei out of my mind.

"Distracted by what?"

"I'm not sure. I'll figure it out." I lied.

"You'd better. I don't want you going out there again like this." She said.

"Since when have you cared?" I teased.

"Since the beginning. Just because I act cold doesn't mean I am." She said. I gave a bitter laugh.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing. It's just that I feel the exact opposite way sometimes." I said.

"There's something I wanted to ask you. Your group at the mall, what happened? You seemed to feel guilty for it."

"There was another small group that came to us just after the EMP. They were from the school too. They begged to join us. It went to a vote. I was the decider and I chose to let them in because I knew some of them. A teacher who seized control and the group descended into chaos within a day or two was leading them. People got paranoid trying to kill this teacher. It just spread through the group and this teacher was brainwashing anyone who would listen. Their group took off with new converts and left us all for dead. I was lucky to fight through to the end. I lost a lot of good friends." I said, reliving everything as I explained it.

"What was the teacher's name?" Saya asked, worriedly.

"Mr. Shido." I said, haunted by the scum's name. Saya gasped.

"What's wrong?"

"We left him and his group early on. We had the chance to kill him, but we gave him mercy. Twice." She said, looking guilty. I closed my eyes and breathed heavily. My mind was back in the moment just after I had killed the last of the group. I had screamed and sobbed all I could before I checked the chamber of my pistol. _One last bullet._


	13. Destruction Therapy

"Seriously Tatsuzo, you're more than a little distracted." Saya said, assertively.

"You're right. All of this is weighing on me. I'm being haunted by the things I've been through since the beginning." I said. Being dropped back into the present was a momentary shock to my brain.

"I'll leave you to your destruction therapy then. Be careful." She said, adjusting her glasses. I gently rested my head upon her shoulder for a moment. She seemed unsure of what to do. I pulled myself together and raised my head again.

"Sorry. I just... needed a moment." I said. Saya looked around awkwardly and left. Saeko came into the hallway, she seemed upset.

"Have fun. Be careful." She said, distantly. Then she carried on past me before I could say anything. She didn't even look at me. Shizuka emerged now too.

"What's she so upset about?" She asked

"I'm not sure. We're off out again now, we'll be back tonight."

"Take care!" She said, enveloping me in a tight hug, crushing me against her ridiculously sized breasts until I was unable to breathe. She let go as I gasped for air.

"Sorry! What am I like?" She apologised, rolling her eyes, presumably at herself. Kohta came back into the hallway and Shizuka flung herself at him, planting a kiss on his cheek, leaving an imprint of her red lipstick on his face. Kohta reddened and sighed happily. Takashi was further down the hallway, readying up.

"Ready?" He asked.

"You know it!" I said.

"Hell yeah!" Kohta exclaimed. And with that, we set off again.

We chatted happily the whole way into the city, shutting out the horrors that we walked past.

"I talked to Saeko..." Takashi said, glumly.

"I noticed. She was not happy." Kohta said.

"She'll be alright, she just needs some time. By the time we get back she'll be ok." I said, trying to defuse the way Kohta was playing up her mood.

"Yeah. For now, let's just take our minds off of it, wreck some shit and act like idiots for a while." Takashi said.

"I have a few ideas." I grinned, brandishing the deodorant and lighters.

"So that's why you took so much! I never thought of that..." Kohta said.

"Just you wait... I have loads of dumb ideas." I grinned.

"Really?"

"Yeah, man." I said. They looked at me, confused.

"Shit. That's a thing that only makes sense in English. I forgot..."

"Oh, ok. What's its use?" Kohta asked.

"In this context it's an informal term to display friendship."

"Can you say it in English? I want to know how it's supposed to sound."

"Sure." I repeated the phrase in English, my American accent returning as I said it.

"That makes sense. And I hadn't heard your accent before. It's pretty cool."

"Thanks. Hey, I have another idea. Do either of you know of a sports store anywhere nearby? Some of their equipment could make for some fun."

"Actually I do. Rei took me around here a long time ago. She was looking for javelins." Takashi said.

"Great. Is it far?"

"It felt like it at the time... Probably a block away at most."

"Ha. Shopping with girls is the best, isn't it? Satomi and Li would always drag me along with them. I'd just go into the electronics stores and look at the CDs, video games and gadgets."

"I'd always look at the anime." Kohta said.

"I was never really into it that much. I watched a few, but not a while lot. I only got into a few. I was more of a gamer really." I said.

"Manga?" Kohta asked.

"Again, not much. I could never find the volumes in order. I dated a girl who was really into manga once."

"Was she cute?"

"Yeah, she looked like she was taken straight out of a manga actually. Her name was Akira."

" Akira's not usually a girl's name... How did you meet her? Was she your first girlfriend?"

"Yeah, her parents named her that after the movie. She was a friend of Saeko's actually; we just met one day after school. And no, she wasn't my first girlfriend. I had one before and a couple after. I wasn't exactly a lady-killer. Not that you'd know that from looking at me." I joked with a cheesy grin.

"Hey, you're not exactly ugly or fat or anything." Kohta said glumly.

"No, but I'm not exactly perfect boyfriend material, am I?" I said indicating to my arms and the cigarette I was placing in my mouth.

"Girls do that stuff too. And lots of people smoke, that doesn't make them bad partners."

"I know. But my types usually don't. And most of them have disapproved. Poor Akira. You should have seen her face when I admitted it to her. It was heartbreaking."

"What other girls did you date?"

"The first girl was just a plain schoolgirl type, Hana. She didn't have much going on personality wise, but she was the kind of person I needed as my first girlfriend. She dumped me as soon as she found out about the scars, but I didn't really care by that time. I learned a lot about relationships from her. Then there was Akira, as I mentioned. She was obsessive over manga and anime, kept trying to get me into it. She was really cute. Blonde and the biggest bluest eyes I've ever seen. When I told her about the cutting and smoking she tried her best to stay with me, but she could never look past it. Then it was an American musician, Jane. She played the piano and drums and bass guitar. She was just a constant ball of energy. She shaped a lot of my taste in music. The long distance thing didn't work out in the end. The other girl was a kind of skater and rocker. Wore a lot of black and red. Long black hair. Smoked more than I do and thought my scars were awesome. She never left her skateboard. She was cool and a lot of fun, but we were too distant with each other. We just sort of drifted apart, I was kind of into Saeko by that time anyway." I explained, being thrust back into those memories again.

"Anyone else?"

"No. Had a few dates with the odd girl here and there, but not really much more."

"Have you had your first?" Kohta blurted.

"That's a little personal." Takashi remarked.

"Sorry..."

"Don't worry about it. And yes, I have. It was Akira actually. I never expected it. I think that's the only thing that kept us together after the rift telling her about my flaws created."

"Was it good?"

"No way. The first was awful. It got better after that, though." There was an awkward pause.

"Anyway, have you had any girlfriends?" I asked Kohta.

"Eh, not really. I dated a few girls I started talking to on internet forums and eventually met, but not much more than that." Kohta said, disappointed in him.

"Hey, it's something. Don't put yourself down, it still counts." I said.

"What about you Takashi? You seem to be a hit with the ladies of Castle Komuro." I said, pointing in the direction of the dojo we were staying in.

"One girl." He said, absently.

"And?" I prompted.

"I was too hung up on Rei. It didn't work out for long. Just a couple of months." He admitted.

"That raises a question. What exactly is yours and Rei's relationship right now?"

"I'm not sure. Some weird kind of limbo between being a couple and just being friends, I guess."

"But you know where it's headed, right?"

"Well, yeah. I think you picked up on that at the drugstore." He laughed.

"I suppose so." I said. Still unable to get the image of Rei out of my mind. But after our talk, Akira was playing on my mind too. She meant far more to me than I had let on. I hoped she was still out there somewhere. I remembered how nervous I was on our first date, how relieved I had felt when she took my hand and didn't let go for the rest of the day and how happy she had made me. I couldn't help but start pining for her again. It was like my heart was being crushed all over again. What I had told Kohta and Takashi made the end of our relationship sound far more sudden than it actually was. My moods had been getting darker and darker. I had only been told about my adoption a few years before, and I had been struggling to manage it for ages. For a long time, Akira had been a source of light in the bleakness I was falling into, but it stopped working and I began to slowly let it show outwardly. It just got worse and worse. Admitting my darkness to her just served to show her that it wasn't going away, no matter how hard she tried. And she had tried with everything she could, this started to bring her into the same moods, time just made it worse. I thought back to the day she finally left me.

_I was lying in her bed next to her. I don't need to say what we had just finished doing. It was the middle of a beautiful summer day, because that meant her family were out. I couldn't help but feel a strange mood emanating from Akira. _

_"What's wrong?"_

_"You. I can't do this anymore. You're not the boy I thought you were, Tatsuzo." She was certainly right about that._

_"Really? Just like that?"_

_"I'm sorry. I still love you and I always will, but I shouldn't be able to. I've tried everything I can to make you happy, and none of it's working. I thought you were sweet and kind. You're bitter, destructive and narcissistic. You're so poisonous that kissing you leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. I can't stand you and I can't stand being without you. You lied to me about who you were. I hate you as much as I love you. And I'll always feel like that about you now. I let you in and you betrayed my trust. Get out and stay out." I was crushed. I so wanted to tell her the truth about me, about Levi. But that would just make it worse. I was angry and depressed simultaneously, my depression preventing me from having the energy to vent my anger._

_"I know. As little as it matters right now, I'm sorry. Hopefully that will mean something to you in the future." I said, putting my clothes back on. _

_"Akira..." I began._

_"What?" She snapped._

_"I know that what I've done to you is horrible. There are a million things I want to say to you and no words to say them with. I love you, and I always will." I said, closing the door to her room._

That was the last I ever saw of Akira, naked and covered in a duvet. It was extremely strange walking downstairs and leaving the house with her family out, like no one cared that I was leaving the place behind forever. Which was true. I had cut her up as much as my own arms. I felt awful about shaping sweet, beautiful and innocent Akira into a mirror image of myself: bitter and depressed. That was the first and only time I experienced heartbreak. It hurt the other times, but I was too apathetic to care about the relationships themselves. It cut me deeper than I ever could because it simply confirmed that I was incapable of having a good relationship and that Akira was as good as it got. I decided that if I ever saw her again, I would tell her the truth. Maybe then she could understand. The rest of that summer had been beautiful and bright and warm, it may as well have been raining the whole time. I started smoking a packet a day and cutting myself more frequently than ever. I came back from Akira's house to find a manga book she had given me. She had signed the inside of the cover for me with just her name with a small heart drawn underneath it. I had stared at the book for the rest of the day.

I returned to reality and saw that we had reached the sports store. My eyes fell upon an art supplies store right next to it and I got another bright idea. I tried the door, it was locked. I stepped back and smashed the window with my shotgun. It felt good, relieved the weight of thinking about Akira for a moment. I ran inside and found what I was looking for, none of Them were inside. It must have been closed on the day this all started. I grabbed my target and emerged through the broken window again, making an effort not to cut myself on the broken glass. I came out with a bag full of cans of spray paint. Kohta and Takashi cheered.

"We thought you'd gone crazy for a minute." Takashi said.

"Not yet." I winked. We moved into the sports store. There were a few of Them inside. I smashed the window with my shotgun again, but entered through the door.

"What the hell? You've alerted Them!" Kohta yelled.

"Just try it. It doesn't matter anyway, there's not many and we can see Them from a mile off."

Kohta looked to the window behind him and smashed it.

"You're right. That's awesome!" I grabbed a metal bat and swung at a mannequin's head. The plastic head flew across the store and hit one of Them in the chest. I then stepped forwards and knocked one of Them back.

"Foul ball!" Takashi called, laughing. I saw Kohta grab a basketball and throw it at the small net the store had. It bounced against the backboard with huge force and flew backwards, landing at the feet of one of Them wearing a football helmet. It stepped onto the ball and tripped, breaking its neck on a shelf. It rose again, its head now at a sharp angle to the base of its neck. I passed a metal bat to Takashi. We both bolted for two different targets, I gave a heavy swing into the creature with the broken neck. I heard another crunch as it crashed into the wall. The impact had cracked its neck even further making the angle even more extreme, its spinal cord jutting out from the side of its neck.

"Incoming!" Takashi yelled, knocking one of Them towards me.

"Curveball!" I shouted, knocking it back to him in an arc. He laughed and knocked its head off. It came sailing towards me, I tried taking a batting stance to hit it. I missed and the head flew past me and collided with a stacked pile of shoeboxes full of trainers.

"And you're supposed to be American? That's weak." Takashi teased.

"Give me an actual baseball and you'll see." I grinned.

"You forgot we're in a sports store..." He said, giving me a devilish smile.

"I didn't. Bring it on!" I said, winding my bat backwards. He threw a baseball from a basket that he dragged to his side. I swung and connected, the ball went through the broken store window and onto the street.

"Ok. Beginner's luck." Takashi said. I missed the next ball. He was about to say something before I cut him off.

"Before you say anything, the best batters in baseball have a four out of ten average hit rate."

"Well let's try ten then, shall we?" Takashi replied. He threw a ball to me. I caught it instead.

"What are you doing?" I threw the ball in the air and hit it, it collided with the one with the broken neck, the last one of Them still alive now. I hit its chest and it stumbled and the helmet fell off, but it didn't lose balance. I ran for it and swung without stopping. I looked back to see that I had missed. Kohta and Takashi were laughing hysterically. I smacked the creature with the bat and knocked it to the ground. I wailed on its head until my metal bat was bent out of shape and dented. I had caved only a small portion of its head in, but it was enough for it to not get up again.

"Batter up!" Kohta shouted as Takashi juggled a baseball. I dropped my broken bat and picked a new one.

"No, you have to use that one. We'll let you get away with a score of one if you do. If not, you have to get seven."

"Ok." I kept the new one with me, but picked the broken one up again. I rested the new bat against a toppled shelf and took position. The end of my bat was at an awkward angle now. I prepared myself and gave a first swing at a ball. I missed.

"Shit." Takashi pitched and I missed again. I gritted my teeth and focused. I followed the ball and timed my strike perfectly. Another miss.

"Damn it!"

"Hey, you only need one from seven more balls." I swung casually and connected. The ball fell a few inches away from my feet. I cheered and ditched the old bat. I picked up the new one. Kohta put a football helmet on backwards.

"I can't see anything with this on." He joked, muffled. I tapped my bat against his helmet and he tackled me into a small shelf, laughing. He took the helmet off and got up. I groaned, sprawled over a shelf full of clothes.

"Sorry." He said.

"It's fine. Got me by surprise is all." He reached his hand out to help me up. I took it and pulled him down into the fallen shelf.

"Now we're even." I said, grinning. We both hauled ourselves up and began knocking everything in the store over. Takashi grinned and joined in. The next few minutes were a haze of things crashing over and being strewn all over the place. We walked outside, laughing.

Across the street was an empty house that had been covered in graffiti and the windows smashed. In the driveway was a convertible sports car in pristine condition. I swung my bat at the rear lights. They smashed audibly, scattering small pieces of coloured glass onto the driveway. I did the same with the other set of rear lights, shaking the shattered glass off of the top my shoes. Kohta went for the windshield.

"I wouldn't do that." I warned. He was already swinging and his bat connected. The impact shock ran through his arm and he dropped the bat. The windshield had a large crack shaped like a spider web in the dead centre, but didn't break.

"I told you not to. It's reinforced." I said, swinging at the rear side window and smashing it into the exposed interior. Watching the glass scatter was quite enjoyable.

"Try that." I said, pointing at one of the side windows. He recovered and took a hesitant swipe. Half of the window broke and he gleefully went at the remaining windows. Takashi was inspecting the walls of the house while holding a can of red spray paint, pondering over what to do. I took a can of black paint and scrawled a hand raising a middle finger to the world. Takashi sprayed an image of a cartoonish zombie looking gormless and confused. I began studying the writing on the wall. In between all of the generic stuff about how God was either dead or judging us by inflicting this, the wall was full of people writing to their loved ones, trying to find them or simply to let them know that they're alive and things like where they were staying. I decided to write the names of everyone in our group and state that we were alive, but I felt it wiser to not give our location. I looked through the discussions and tried to add what I could. I wrote two pieces of information. The first on its own, as nobody had mentioned it.

"Don't trust Shido." I warned. I kept looking and found a discussion about bites and scratches and decided to impart my knowledge.

"Scratches don't turn you." I wrote. Kohta had taken a spray can now and was spraying random shapes and scrawls onto the empty bits of wall.

"Hey, let's go for a drink. There's a bar not far from here. Tatsuzo, are you ok? You look distracted." Takashi suggested.

"I'm with you on that one." I smiled.

"Sure." Kohta agreed.

"Wait, just a minute." I said, grabbing the deodorant and one of the cheap plastic lighters. I used the lighter and began spraying deodorant through the exposed flame. The cone of flames went to the exposed interior of the car and set the fake leather seats alight. I coughed at the smell of solvent and burning chemically treated material of the fake leather. I sprayed a little more and threw both the lighter and deodorant into the front seat of the car and we headed towards the bar together.

"I was kind of hoping it would explode." Kohta said, disappointed.

"Me too." I agreed.

"So what's distracting you?" Takashi asked me.

"Akira."

"You didn't seem too bothered about it."

"She meant more to me than I was letting on earlier."

"You make for a good liar then."

"I never really considered it like that. I'm just a good actor."

"Same thing."

"I don't think so. Acting is more like hiding. What I show is true, but it's guarded. You can see the truth in it if you know where to look."

"What exactly are you hiding then?" Takashi asked, warily now.

"I have nothing to hide from any of you. I'm an open book to you guys. It's for strangers. Hiding from friends doesn't end well, I've learned my lesson there at least."

"If you say so." He still seemed wary.

"Look, I hid my past from everyone I ever met and it poisoned everything. I tell you my only secret and then you stop trusting me?" Takashi fell silent.

We reached the door of the bar, it was a small place with a few tables and seats and a row of six stools at the counter. Takashi and Kohta took two stools as I rounded the counter and looked at the drinks.

"What do you guys want?"

"Just a beer." Takashi said.

"Me too."

"Anything in particular?"

"No, thanks." Takashi responded.

"Kohta?" I prompted.

"I know nothing about this stuff. Maybe the same one as last time?" I grabbed two bottles and slid them a bottle opener. I grabbed a glass, took a bottle of vodka and poured myself a double.

"Whoa, take it easy there." Kohta remarked.

"Don't worry. I can handle my drink." I looked around the bar and saw a small jukebox in the corner. I approached it with my glass in my hand and started reading the songs available.

"Shame this thing won't work." I observed

"It would just attract Them anyway."

"I know." I took a sip of my drink. The strength of the alcohol gave a warm, gentle burn in the back of my throat. I sat at a stool at the bar, joining Kohta and Takashi. We sat silent for a while, sipping at our drinks. After a while Kohta started a conversation.

"So, what's your ideal girl?"

"Intelligent, cute, funny..." I began.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's write all that stuff off, that's all been said a million times. We're talking purely physical here." Kohta interrupted.

"Huh. I don't know if I'm exactly particular about that. I mean, I want to be attracted to her, but I'm not bothered about hair or eye colour really." I said.

"Aww, come on. Don't be so boring! Takashi, help me out here. Maybe he'll get it in a bit."

"I usually like light coloured hair. Light brown or blonde." Takashi began.

"I like blonde or red hair." Kohta said.

"Ok. Fine. I'm into dark hair I guess." I started.

"There it is! Now he gets it. So, eye colour?"

"Green." Takashi said.

"Brown." Kohta said. They both turned to me, expectantly.

"I'm going to have to be boring with this one. I really have no preference on that." I admitted, sheepishly. Kohta and Takashi groaned and rolled their eyes.

"You two are like some kind of double act." I laughed. I took another sip of vodka.

"Ok. I'll make a general prompt to make up for it. Body as a whole."

"Just an average build, but pretty tall. I like big boobs too." Takashi answered.

"Similar for me, but I like massive boobs. And I kind of like chubby girls." Kohta said.

"You should have no problem with that then." Takashi joked. Kohta smacked him jokingly.

"What about boring old Tatsuzo?" Kohta asked.

"Oh, I almost let him get away with not answering." Takashi smiled.

"I like kind of petite girls. You know, delicate looking. Usually skinny and kind of short. And I'm not boring! I'm playing along as best I can." I answered.

"If you weren't boring you'd have mentioned the boobs." Kohta said.

"I don't have a particular preference. It just needs to work with the body shape. Big ones are fine, but sometimes less is more. Especially on the skinnier girls, it just looks ridiculous if not." I added.

"What do you mean?"

"Take Shizuka for example. She's pretty and everything, but hers are ridiculous! Even with her normal body size. I don't find it attractive like that." I said.

"You're crazy." Kohta shook his head and sipped his beer. He still hadn't taken to it quite yet and pulled a face at the taste of the drink every time he took a sip.

"I see where he's coming from. I don't agree, but I get it." Takashi said, defending my views half-heartedly.

"Yeah, thanks for throwing me under the bus." I said sarcastically.

"Well, what about Saeko then? And Saya? And Rei? They're all pretty blessed in the breast department." Kohta probed, grinning creepily. I could tell he was fantasising about all three girls.

"Yeah, and they all look great. The proportions make more sense than with Shizuka. There's a limit is all I'm saying. Akira was kind of small in that way, but she was short and quite skinny so it... Suited her, I guess?" I raised an eyebrow, straining to explain it properly. As I spoke about this, the mental image of Rei in her underwear resurfaced. I took a bigger sip of my vodka.

"Are you into a girl's legs more then?" Takashi asked.

"Depends on which is their best feature, I guess. It's all relative." I said. The mental image of Rei became a momentary daydream as she smacked me.

"Don't be such a pig!" She said, sort of playfully. That was obviously my subconscious feeling bad for objectifying all that. The more animalistic part of my brain practically shrugged. I was basically a teenager and I was drinking with my male friends, of course it was going to come up as a conversation topic. It's not like the girls would have minded even if they could have heard us.

From that, we began to discuss attractive American and Japanese celebrities. I still felt kind of weird, but it was mostly how normal and unguarded we were being in our conversation. I hadn't felt like this for a long time, even before the appearance of Them. The more we drank, the less coherent our conversation became. After what was probably close to two hours of drinking, we were slurring our words and moving clumsily.

"Hey, Tatsuzo. Say something in English. I haven't heard you speak it really." Kohta requested.

"Sure. Anything in particular you want me to say?" I asked in English. My American accent was evident straight away.

"Wow. That's pretty cool." Kohta said. Takashi was about to say something when a bullet flew past him and broke a bottle of liquor behind the counter. We scrambled to our feet and dashed behind the wooden bar for cover. I fumbled for my pistol.

"Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck!" I swore, struggling to load my gun with my current state of intoxication. I popped over the top of the bar and fired a few shots hoping to suppress their fire to get out of the bar. They continued firing regardless, their shots kicking up large splinters of wood from the thick material of the counter. One of these splinters hit one of our attackers in the eye. He fell to his knees and screamed. Another man, a large thuggish one with tattoos over most of his body and a shaven head, approached the injured man and put a bullet in his head without hesitation.

"Lord Shido has no use for the weak." He said. He looked at our other three attackers.

"I didn't tell you to stop shooting!" He bellowed. They began firing again. Kohta grabbed a bottle of liquor and a rag. I lit the rag with my lighter and Kohta threw it.

"Here's what I think of your 'Lord Shido'!" He yelled. Shido's men retreated out of the entrance as the flames erupted from the ground and singed their clothes. One of the men caught fire and took some time to pat the flames out before catching up with his accomplices. We got up and headed for the back exit, which spat us out at an alleyway with only one exit back onto the main road. Our new friends were already there, training their guns at us. Takashi took cover behind a dumpster as I hid behind the corner wall. I fired a few pistol shots, training my gun on one target. I was way too drunk to land any hits and now my clip was empty. I grabbed my shotgun as I failed to put my pistol in the holster and it fell to the ground. As I looked down the alleyway I could hardly make out our attackers. My head was pounding and I couldn't co-ordinate my body at all. I ran from cover to cover and fired both shots. I was now behind the side of the dumpster with Takashi. I heard a scream. Obviously I had hit someone. I reloaded as quickly as I could, but I kept dropping shells. I finally snapped two shells into the chamber. Takashi popped up and fired his pistol, killing the large thuggish one. A very skinny middle-aged woman was the only one left. The skeletal woman fired her gun and bolted.

"Lord Shido will hear about this!" She crowed.

"Let him, bitch! Tell him we're coming for him!" I yelled back, drunkenly struggling with the words. Takashi screamed and I wheeled around. He had been hit in the arm. I didn't know much about this sort of thing, but it seemed as though it was only a graze. His leg, however, was another story. He had sprained his ankle as he fell and it was now at an alarming angle.

"Can you stand?" I asked.

"I think so... I'll need some help though." He said. I lifted him and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Kohta, grab my pistol for me. I dropped it earlier." I pointed with my free hand. Kohta scrambled for my pistol and giggled.

"That was crazy. Holy shit."

"They're going to be closing in. We've got to go now." I said, firmly. I could hear shuffling footsteps already.

"Let's move." Takashi agreed.

We stumbled through the alley and saw a huge group of Them headed for us. We tried to keep our pace as much as we could, but they didn't get tired and with an injured Takashi balancing his weight on me they were gaining on us slowly.

"We need something to distract Them." I said. Kohta picked up a large piece of broken brick and threw it into a window as we passed it. The group of Them broke away and investigated the sound.

"It worked!" Kohta exclaimed, happily.

"Let's keep going. If more of Them show up we're screwed."

"You know, I'd almost completely forgotten about Them for a minute." Takashi said.

"Me too." I admitted. We kept making our way back to the dojo as quickly as we could. It was pretty late in the night now; the moon was high in the sky, casting rays of silverish light through the canopy of trees near the hill we had taken for our own. We approached the incline of the hill.

"We're gonna to have to do this slow and steady." I said to Takashi. Kohta made his way up the hill and called Shizuka down for help. We had made it half way up the hill by the time the group rushed out to aid us. Shizuka took the weight of Takashi's other side and we made our way up to the dojo. We got inside and dumped Takashi in his bed as quickly as we could. Shizuka inspected his arm wound and ankle.

"He's fine, but his ankle means he won't be walking for a few days." She said.

"Right. I'll go tell the others. I have a little mission for you and I tonight. It'll get us out of here." I said. She seemed surprised.

"Me?"

"Yeah. I'll explain later." I said, leaving Takashi's room. I was instantly met with most of the group.

"What happened? Is he ok?" Rei asked, frantically.

"He's fine. He got grazed by a bullet and sprained his ankle." I said. She seemed to calm down a little, now only close to hysteria.

"He was shot?"

"Yeah. Mr. Shido's been busy apparently. They were his men. We were in a bar and they jumped us." I explained.

"You were drinking?! Isn't that a bit stupid?"

"Just a bit. We made it back didn't we? There's no point arguing about it now. I'm getting us out of here tonight. It's not safe."

"What? Is Shido after us?"

"I'm not sure if he was before, but he definitely will be soon enough. I'm taking Shizuka back to the school. Hopefully we can find a military vehicle that was shielded enough during the crash to be in working order." I said.

"Bit of a long shot, don't you think?" Saya questioned.

"Yeah, but if we can't get a vehicle we're never getting to Hokkaido. It's worth looking for, right? We can't just wait for Takashi to recover. Shido will find us before then."

"It's stupid, it relies on hope and nothing else." She said, indignantly.

"You can come up with a better idea then!" I yelled. She stopped arguing then. Shizuka came out of Takashi's room.

"Is he going to be ok?" Rei asked eagerly.

"He'll be fine. He just needs some time." Shizuka answered. A lot of the tension in the room dissipated.

"Shizuka, how soon can you get ready to come with me? We need to travel back to the school. We're trying to find a working military vehicle." I explained.

"I'm ready now." She said.

"Perfect. Kohta, do we have a spare pistol for Shizuka? Just in case." I asked. He nodded

"There's one on the kitchen table. I just finished checking it over." I moved to the kitchen, grabbed it and handed it to Shizuka.

"I don't know. I've never fired one of those things..." She said, hesitantly.

"It's ok. I'll only need you to use it to protect yourself if one of Them grabs you or something and I can't get to you. You can't miss if you put the barrel right to their heads." I said, motioning with my hand.

"So, what do we do?" Saeko asked.

"Two of you stay on watch for us coming back. The rest of you pack everything we've got so we can get out of here right away." I ordered, confidently. Saeko and Rei both readied themselves to be on watch and went outside. I looked into Alice's hopeful eyes.

"We'll be back before you know it. It's safe in Hokkaido." I smiled at her.

"How long will it take?" She asked.

"To get the car?"

"No, to get to Hokkaido."

"About a full day." I answered.

"A whole day?" Shizuka asked, incredulously.

"Yeah. Twenty four hours driving."

"How do you know?"

"We drove there once. It feels like a long time ago... I think it was only a few months back, though. We should get going now. We'll be back before you know it." I said, gripping the handle of my sword. We made our way outside and met with Rei and Saeko talking about something. They saw us and instantly fell silent.

"What are you two gossiping about?" I pried, knowing I wouldn't get an answer.

"Uhh, nothing..." Saeko blushed.

"We were just, uh..." Rei trailed off and blushed too.

"Sure... Well, we're off now. See you in a bit." I said, smiling knowingly. Shizuka and I made our way down the hill. Shizuka kept tripping over as she moved. She decided to grip my hand so tightly her knuckles became a pure white. I held her balance as we moved and finally reached the foot of the hill.


	14. The Escape

"You can let go now." I said, wincing at her tight grip on my injured hand. The fresh air was helping sober me up and my head stopped reeling from the alcohol in my system.

"I don't want to." She said.

"Ok. Can you at least loosen up a little?"

"Oh. Sorry." She eased up on my hand a little and I felt relief. I took her hand in return.

"Why don't you want to let go?" I asked.

"It just... Feels safe. It's comforting; I need some comfort right now. Everyone seems to forget that. I feel like I just fade into the background sometimes." She responded.

"Hey, you're just as important as anyone else in the group. We're a unit."

"Maybe you guys are when you fight together, but I'm just the useless one who's terrified of everything." She said.

"Not at all. I owe you everything and more. You might not fight, but if it weren't for you I'd be dead. That's certain." I said.

"You don't owe me anything. It's just what I do. I'm useless in every other way."

"Aren't you the group's driver too?"

"Yeah, and now I have to drive twenty four hours straight with no thanks whatsoever."

"No, actually. I'll take half of it. I know the route and you'll need to rest."

"I didn't know you could drive."

"Yeah. I didn't take my test, so I don't have a license but I took all of the lessons and I can't imagine the cops are going to be pulling us over now."

"Yeah. Still it's not going to be appreciated."

"We can both not get thanked together then. It doesn't matter; the people in the background can be the most important. The others just might not see it. That's the thing about working as a unit; sometimes you don't get any recognition, but it doesn't take away from what you've done."

"Doesn't it?"

"I don't think so. We all rely on each other equally now. And I need you alone more than I would have ever needed anybody before this. Recognition is pointless, importance and efficiency of what we do is all that matters. We've all got a lot going on now. I'm way too inside my own head to remember to say thanks for the little things, even if I notice and appreciate them. I'm sure everyone else is the same."

"I suppose so."

"The thing is, you need to speak your mind when you're having trouble. I'm guilty of internalising too, but I'm trying to stop. Hopefully I'll stop cutting if I stop internalising. It's more likely to cause an issue if you don't bring it up."

"You're right. I've been really stressed out about this, I'm feeling better now." She smiled.

"Good." I smiled back at her glad I could help.

We were close to the school now. I could see viscera, scorch marks and rubble from the crash now. A few of Them were roaming around but it seemed as though this area had been deserted since the incident. I drew my sword fully and let go of Shizuka's hand. The sound of me drawing my sword got their attention and they shuffled towards me. I took a few steps forward and cut one of Them down in one swing. It crumpled and the next one fell over its associate. I drove my sword into the back of its head before it rose again and pulled through its skull. No katana was made for stabbing, so pulling it out was difficult. I struggled for a moment as the third shambled towards me. I brought my sword up and created an ineffective slash across its chest as I freed my weapon. I sliced into its head diagonally and pulled away. I wiped my sword clean on the back of a dirty white t-shirt one of Them had been wearing in their last moments of life. I made my way back to Shizuka.

"Shit. I forgot to explain this thing to you." I said, pointing to the pistol in her hands. I took it from her and showed her the safety.

"Only switch it to this position when you want to shoot. If you don't, you can't fire. Hold it like this. Keep your free hand on your wrist for stability if you want to take a ranged shot. You should only need to put this part right to their heads and pull the trigger here. I'll reload it for you if there's any need. Look down the sights with one eye and line these two bits up with each other and then aim at the target. Remember to shoot Them in the head. I think that's about it." I explained, handing it back to her.

"How much do you know about these things?" Shizuka asked.

"Only a little from my gun nut friend from before and Kohta, our new gun nut friend." I suddenly thought back to my old gun and decided to etch a triangle into the grip of my new gun, as I had before, using a sharp piece of metal under my shoe. I inspected it, oddly content with my handiwork. I don't know exactly why I did it, but it personalised the weapon in my eyes.

"Why did you do that?" Shizuka seemed pretty confused.

"I don't know really... Just personalisation I suppose." She gave me an understandably strange look.

"Anyway, the vehicles were set up around here. I imagine people will have taken off with any useable ones that are easy to see, so it might take some looking. These streets are kind of tight. I'd turn the safety off now, just in case." I instructed.

We roamed around passing burnt out corpses and vehicles as we approached the school. The destroyed building was now a sloping pile of rubble and burnt wood. I could see arms and legs of the dead that didn't quite make it out sticking out of the thinner layers of debris. Seeing them protruding in the dead of night made the sight all the more macabre. The smell of burned flesh and fuel was still present, but weaker now. There was a strangely apparent weight and thickness to the air around us, as though the catastrophe was haunting the whole area. I doubled over and coughed violently, my smoker's cough being aggravated by the stench. The dry and painful coughs wracked through my chest and tore the lining of my throat. That cough was the main thing that made me regret smoking.

"You ok?" Shizuka asked, worried.

"I'm fine, thanks. Let's go check these side roads." I stood up again. We searched for a while before coming across a vehicle that was intact a fair way down a side road.

"Thank God! I was beginning to lose hope." Shizuka exclaimed.

"Yeah, me too." I scanned the area and found one of Them feasting on a long dead corpse that had obviously tried and failed to make away with the vehicle. I slowly approached it and slashed its head open, a diagonal cut across its contorted features as it oozed thick dark red blood. I felt a pair of arms grip me, and realised one of Them had taken me by surprise. I reached for my pistol and pressed it against the creature's head. I pulled the trigger. It clicked. I hadn't reloaded since my battle at the bar. Shizuka fired a long range shot and missed completely. I couldn't reach for my shotgun as it was underneath my back.

"Point blank! It won't give you any notice." I called, struggling against the beast. I pressed the pistol to its head again so Shizuka knew exactly what I meant. She ran over to me and pressed the gun to its head. The dead, grey mass of its brain sprayed the wall to its side and I felt it put its weight on top of me.

"Thanks. That's two I owe you now. Start the engine and I'll make sure we're clear."

"Why?"

"The engine noise will attract Them. If too many get brought over, we won't be able to get out. Not with the car in a state we can get to Hokkaido in at least. Rev the engine to be sure." Shizuka revved the engine as I asked. The loud roar of the engine made me grin. I waited a while, but couldn't hear anything approaching. I got in the passenger seat.

"Let's go!" I said, smiling. Shizuka put her foot on the accelerator and we moved towards the dojo. As we passed the burnt out husks of cars and ones full of shattered glass and bloodstains we got close to the hill.

"Turn the lights off. Move slow. We don't know if Shido's on our tail." I instructed. We slowly approached the foot of the hill and got out. We walked up and saw the group smiling and standing outside of the building, arms full of packed bags. I motioned for them to come down and saw that Alice was struggling with the bags as she moved down the hill, close to falling. Saya and Rei helped Takashi limp down the slope. I walked up and took a few bags from Alice. I took them, expecting them to be quite light. I was surprised by their weight

"Some of these are really heavy. You're stronger than I thought!" I said to her. Her eyes lit up and she beamed at me. We loaded the vehicle and jumped in.

"Is it ok with everyone if we stop back at my place before we take off the whole way? I've got some unfinished business to take care of. It's on the way." I said. Everybody showed their agreement.

"Tatsuzo, can you give me directions then? You know the way, right?" Shizuka asked.

"No problem."

I directed Shizuka to my house and stood outside the door, I had instructed everyone else to stay inside. I opened the front door and stepped inside.

_"Tatsuzo! Dinner's ready!"_

"Ok mom!" I called back. I heard my mom giggling as Li said something most likely equal parts adorable and entertaining.

_"Tatsuzo!"_

"I'm coming!" I heard a shriek and a smashing sound.

_"Tatsuzo!" _She now screamed in fear. I placed my hand on the door of the kitchen. I opened it and saw mom, dad and Li. All undead. Li's small hands were still clutching her inhaler.

_"Tatsuzo..."_ I heard my mother say in my mind, sounding weak as I stared into her dead, glassy eyes. I drew my katana. The sound got their attention.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, as I cut my undead mother to the ground. I sidestepped Li and cut my father's head open. All that was left of my parents were dead husks and viscera that splattered the floor. I knelt down to Li and sobbed. I reached out to her and stroked her greasy, unwashed hair one last time, gripping her tightly so she couldn't bite at me before I closed my eyes and drove my sword into her. She gurgled and fell, her inhaler clattered to the floor as her hand went limp. Their bodies lay crumpled on the floor in unnatural positions.

_I was in my bedroom. Akira had just broken up with me a few days ago and I had gotten into an argument with dad. I was sitting at my computer, not paying attention to anything hoping it could provide some sort of escape. I was in a foul mood and pissed off at dad for no good reason. Li entered my room. I almost snapped at her, but I held my tongue. She gave me a hug, sensing I needed it. _

_"Promise me you'll get better." She said._

_"I can't..."_

_"Promise." She said, firmly._

_"I promise."_

I looked at the corpses of my family lying at my feet. I was crying hysterically, tears obscuring my vision and my body heaved with each sob. I found a photo of us all in a frame on the windowsill. I took it out of the frame and looked at it. It was from the day we all went to Hokkaido, taken outside of the house just before we left. I gently and carefully ripped myself out of the photograph and set the torn piece with me on it down on the wooden table in the middle of the kitchen. I went upstairs into my room and looked around. I took the book Akira had given me and my favourite hoodie and cap. I grabbed for an old wristwatch my dad had given me on my 18th birthday. Supposedly it had belonged to his grandfather, who had passed it down with the intention of making it an heirloom to the man of the family on their 18th birthday. Seemed like he had succeeded in that so far. Strapping it around my left wrist, I threw the hoodie over my shoulder and moved into Li's room. I found one of her favourite toys, a small powder blue plastic rabbit intended for a keychain on her nightstand. It was a cheaply made thing she had bought at a convenience store down the road for more than it was worth. She had somehow made a strong connection with it and kept it with her everywhere she went. I took the chain and threaded it through part of my belt loop before stuffing the toy in my pocket. I went back downstairs, compelled to find something personal between me and mom. I stared at the open box in my parents' room. It was full of finger paintings, drawings and things from when I was young. It also had my adoption papers in it and a birth certificate. There was a similar box for Li's things, although more empty given that most of her drawings were still being displayed around the house. Looking at all of these things made what I had done so much more surreal, my tears finally stopped, as though I was unsure where reality began. Everything seemed like a nightmare now. I heard the front door open and I stepped out into the corridor, sword at the ready. I saw Saeko creeping into the entrance.

"Don't do that. You scared the crap out of me." I said, sighing with relief.

"You're taking a while. We just wanted to make sure you're ok." She said.

"I'm alive if that's what you mean. I'm definitely not ok." Saeko noticed the blood on my sword. She hesitantly put her hand on the kitchen door.

"Don't. You can guess what's in there, you don't need to see it." I searched my parents' room some more and found a CD in my box. It was a collection of lullabies and nursery songs my mother had recorded a long time ago. She wanted to be a singer when she was younger and had the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. She had come close, but never made it. She had recorded this CD for me when I was little. It had come out of the same passion for music that had instilled itself in me as she raised me.

"What's that?" Saeko asked.

"A CD Satomi made for me when they first adopted me. All my favourite lullabies and that kind of thing. She was a great singer." I responded, staring blankly at the disc.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your family."

"Me too. Let's go. I don't want to stay here any longer." We walked out to the car and got in. I put my things in the back with the rest of our equipment. As soon as I got in, the mood of the group changed. They obviously had some idea of what happened in the house. I stared out of the window for a few hours, watching us pass abandoned cars and destroyed or empty husks of buildings. I spent the time simply thinking of my family, tracing my thumb over the plastic rabbit in my pocket. I sighed and forced my mind to go elsewhere for a while. I had tread this path when I first found them and I had now released them from their condition, I should have been relieved in some way. It was supposed to be therapeutic, a sign of moving on. Maybe it was. I was feeling that same vast emptiness I did whenever I moved on to something new. Perhaps this was how it was supposed to be. Besides, I didn't want to do the same thing Takashi and Rei had to the group. I had to be present and active.

"Hey guys, cheer up. We'll be there in no time." I said, trying to sound positive. I heard Shizuka yawn as we drove and I glanced at the fuel gauge. Nearly empty.

"Shizuka, pull up at the next gas station you can find. We'll refuel and I'll take over for a while." I said.

"Are you sure?" She asked, sleepily.

"Yeah, no problem."

It was another hour before we reached a gas station. An old place that was probably pretty run down before all of this.

"Is this another prepaid pump?" Takashi asked, lying across the back seat, propping his sprained ankle up while Zeke rested on his chest.

"No. This place looks pretty old school. I don't think prepaid would work at all without electricity, so we're in luck." I said. I took the pump and began to fill the tank. Or that's what should have happened. Instead no gas came out at all. I took it out of the tank and attempted to pump again. A small trickle of leftover petrol leaked out.

"Damn it. Either the pump's out or it needed electricity anyway." I announced. Saya shot me a look.

"What? I don't know how these things work. Anyway, let's see if they have any cans of gas. If not we're going to have to siphon what we need."

"I need to pee." Alice declared, bouncing around anxiously.

"Saeko, can you take her around the side? Hopefully there's a bathroom. Is anyone hungry? I'm sure we can grab a few things in the store." I suggested. Kohta's stomach audibly rumbled in agreement. Everyone nodded.

"Alright. Let's see what we can find. Turn the place upside down to find gas. Siphoning would be really tough and pretty risky given that we won't get a whole lot." We went into the small, deserted storefront to find it had been mostly picked apart. I found a corpse in the corner with a familiar empty container of medication in their hands.

"Isn't that the same medicine you take for your back pain?" Shizuka asked me.

"Yeah. It's strong stuff. He'll have gone pretty peacefully." I mumbled, distracted by trying to find something useful.

"There's no gas here. Let's just grab some food and a hose and get out of here." I said. We all snatched whatever snacks we could find and left.

"Looking for something?" Saeko smiled, holding up a red canister of gas with a length of black pipe on top. Alice giggled happily.

"Where did you find that?" I asked.

"Round the back. There's loads of it. I took what I could. The back's loaded." She said.

"Ok. Are we all ready?" I asked. Everyone gave their form of agreement. Shizuka sat in the back now and I took to the wheel and started the ignition.

"Oh. This is weird." I said as I pressed my foot against the accelerator and the car didn't move.

"The pedals are different. The clutch is there and the accelerator and brake are over here and there." Shizuka said, pointing to the corresponding pedals.

"Ok. Thanks." I started the car and stalled immediately. Everyone groaned.

"Sorry guys, I forgot it was different." I said. I pulled out again. Slowly this time until I was confident that I knew the pedal configuration. I habitually looked over my shoulder for traffic, instead seeing most of the group in the back.

"That's right." I laughed out loud at myself.

"What?" Rei asked.

"I was looking for other moving cars." Rei laughed too. We pressed on as Kohta started teaching Alice a gun-obsessed variation on some song. I wasn't really paying attention to it. I was far more inexperienced at driving and found myself really focusing on the road and blocking out all conversation. Even then I found myself stalling a few times.

I drove until the sun began to set again. I had no energy left and we were only a few hours away.

"Shizuka, mind if we swap again? I can't manage any more. We're a few hours out; if you just keep following this road you'll see signs for the airport. Follow them and you should get there no problem." I said, tired.

"Sure. Pull over and we'll switch." I pulled to the side of the road, parking in a gap in an almost orderly line of abandoned cars. I got out and Shizuka took over. I took her seat, between Saya and Saeko. I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost immediately, rocked by the gentle motions of the vehicle. The girls must have been as tired as I was, as I awoke to see Saya asleep on my shoulder and Saeko resting her head in my lap. Saeko snapped awake alarmingly, jostling me. My movement woke Saya. She looked at me and moved away, embarrassed.

"What?" I asked, self-conscious.

"Not you. Saeko's been drooling again." She said. Saeko looked shocked and extremely embarrassed.

"Again?" I enquired,

"Yeah. Never mind." Saya said, dismissively. Saeko wiped her mouth and looked at the seat. She groaned as her eyes confirmed what Saya had said.

"Sorry..." She muttered.

"Gross." I said, feigning disgust. I wasn't actually that bothered by it. She hit me on the arm gently, still looking very embarrassed. I grinned at her and she realised I was just messing with her. She hit me again. I just laughed quietly. She smiled and I pointed.

"The airport's over there." I could see the tall wire fence in the distance and silhouettes of people moving around.

We approached one of the gates after a few more minutes of driving. Met by uniformed American military personnel trying to communicate in Japanese so broken even I couldn't figure out what they were trying to say. These soldiers must have been new to Japan, they looked pretty young and as though they were fresh out of training.

"I'll handle this." I said to a stressed Shizuka who looked nanoseconds away from pulling her hair out. I got out of the vehicle and they trained their weapons on me yelling something nonsensical, they were very on edge. I raised my hands to the air.

"Tell me in English. I'll let the others know." I said in English. They looked shocked at my American accent and fluency.

"Leave your belongings in the vehicle and go over there to get checked for bites. Take this ticket and come back here for your personal belongings after that. You'll get something after the check to confirm that you're clear. You'll need to show that too." The more senior of the soldiers said. He was sporting a shaved head and a pair of aviator sunglasses, even though it was the dead of night. I almost laughed aloud; I had found a living cliché. I took the ticket.

"Do you have anything to help my friend? He's sprained his ankle." I asked. The man nodded and walked off for a minute. He came back with a pair of crude wooden crutches.

"Thank you sir." I said, walking back to the car.

"Everyone out. We need to get checked over and we'll get our things back later." I said. I handed the crutches to Takashi and he hobbled out with the rest of us and we moved towards the small outbuilding the soldier had pointed out.

"What do you think they'll do when they see the scratch?" Saya asked.

"I won't be the first they've seen. My guess is they'll keep me behind for tests or something. Probably make sure I'm clear of the illness." I said.

"That would make sense." Takashi agreed. We went into the small outbuilding and were stopped by a soldier. This one had really short hair and a face like a bulldog. He seemed pissed off already. He threw the door open and impatiently ushered us in with a movement of his rifle. We filed in to a white tiled room with showerheads lining the walls. Three other personnel stood, seeming to be non-combatants and far less imposing than their guard, most likely doctors or field medics.

"Undress please." One of them requested.

"Right here in front of the others?" I asked.

"Yes. We have limited time and resources, privacy was sacrificed for efficiency." Another one said in English with a grating, nasally voice. He had hawk-like eyes and glasses with very thick lenses. The soldier repeated something similar in Japanese with a snarl, reading all of our faces.

"Please remove all bandages too." The first man said, looking at my hand.

"You can put your clothes here." The third person said, indicating to a bench. She was a chubby black haired woman who didn't seem to be part of the military. I was curious as to her involvement with this, but thought it best not to ask this question yet and took my cap and hoodie off. Takashi sat on the bench to undress, unable to stand. Everyone else took their jackets and extra articles off too and I began to undress. I then removed the bandage on my left hand, showing the cut from the glass. I pointed to the bandages currently covering my scars and indicated to Saeko as she began to unbutton her shirt. She and Rei took Alice's attention away and helped her get ready to be checked as I revealed my arms. The woman made a curious sound as she inspected the scars as though she was fascinated by it. I turned to my side and showed them the scratch that ran from my shoulder to just above the side of my elbow on my right arm.

"You're an interesting one. You'll need to stay behind a few minutes." The first man said. I nodded.

"Come here." The woman instructed. I approached her and she bandaged my arms for me.

"Thank you." I said.

"You're not done. Everything needs to be off. You can get bitten anywhere." She said. I looked to another to confirm this and they nodded. I rolled my eyes and complied, standing completely naked now. She gave me a cursory glance, nodded and I rushed to put my underwear back on.

"Leave your shirt off for now. We need to inspect that scratch some more." The woman said.

"Don't humiliate the boy. He can show us the scratch more later." The first man said in English, not knowing I could speak it. I recognised a British accent on him.

"Ok. Put it back on then." She said to me. Everyone else was putting their clothes back on too.

"How long will this take? I just want to know if my friends should go or wait for me." I asked.

"Just a few minutes. Mainly we have a proposal for you." The English man said. His Japanese was flawless and I was impressed by his accent as he spoke. The soldier led the others out.

"We'll wait for you." Saeko said.

"Ok."

"Right. Let's look at that scratch." The English doctor said, rubbing his hands together rather gleefully. I revealed the scratch. He looked at it carefully, holding some kind of magnifying glass to it.

"No visual signs of infection. Tell me if this hurts." He said, prodding the wound.

"Ow. Yeah, that hurt." I said, wincing.

"Good. If you were still infected the wound would be numb." He explained.

"So, what do you know about this then?" The woman asked.

"I know it's some sort of joint symbiosis between a parasite and some strain of bacterium." I said.

"Almost. It's actually a previously unknown parasite working with a mutated form of the common cold virus. Do you know the purpose of each?" She asked.

"Yes. The virus weakens your body or kills you and the parasite either finishes the job or just reanimates you."

"Impressive. Where did you get all this?"

"Tokonosu General Hospital had some research notes."

"You've travelled pretty far to get here then."

"Yeah. One of the evacuation flights to Shintoko Elementary crashed. We were supposed to be on it, so I knew we had to get here. Where we stayed got less and less safe until we had no choice but to leave."

"I would hazard a guess and say you're the leader figure then?"

"What's your point?" I asked. The English man laughed.

"The boy's onto you. He's a sharp one." He said to her in English.

"I'm nothing compared to the pink haired girl that was with us." I said in English. The second man perked up as the others were overcome with shock.

"Well, aren't you just full of surprises?" He grinned creepily.

"So I'm told." I said, coldly. I could tell they were trying to get me to drop my defenses and manipulate me into something. They were leading me on.

"So you're the leader, yes?" The woman asked in English now.

"Maybe. What are you trying to get me to do?" I asked, still cautious. The second man laughed hysterically.

"I like this one." He wheezed.

"I know when I'm being led on. Get to the point." I said, impatiently.

"Ok. So you want to be a good role model and protect your family, right?"

"They're not my family. Get on with it." I said. The nasal voiced man laughed again.

"Dear God, I hope he agrees. I need a good sense of humour."

"I just brighten your day, don't I?" I said, sarcastically.

"You'd better watch your mouth, boy. If I hadn't taken such a shine to you I could have put you in a lot of trouble." He said. His bird-like features hardened a little but I was unaffected.

"Right. We're trying to research a cure. We have two research groups and it would help us immensely if you would join one. You would be helping to save humanity."

"What does it entail?"

"One would be tests to research the virus, but there's probably not much progress we can make there. The other one would be researching the parasite. We'd have to put it inside you with our other subjects. We have no idea what it'll do and there's a good chance you'll die. But it could help us unlock the secret to a vaccine, and maybe even immortality some day." She said.

"How much would you need me?" I asked.

"The virus research group would just need half an hour each week. The parasite research would be all day every day indefinitely."

"I'll join the virus research. I'm not dying for some long shot at playing god." I said.

"Are you sure? Your sacrifice and aid will help all of humanity, you would be written about in history books. You would help the human race become gods."

"The human race isn't supposed to be gods. I'm as afraid of death as the next person, but I've been face to face with it every day recently as we all have. Perhaps it's not such a curse. I'm helping virus research." I said, firmly. The English one perked up now. The other two looked defeated.

"I'm Doctor James Clare. I'll be seeing you on Sunday for virus research. I run the group. These two crazies are in charge of parasite research." He said, warmly.

"Levi Adams." I said.

"Just ask somebody where the virus research group meets on Sunday and you'll get some directions. Any half an hour you may have free on a Sunday and you can drop by. There's minimal personal risk. You'll be helping humanity more this way." He dropped to a whisper with his final point. He handed me a blue ticket and I smiled at him.

"See you on Sunday then Dr. Clare." I said. I threw my shirt back on and grabbed the things I had left on the bench and exited the outbuilding.


	15. The Plane

I found the others lined up by the door, bored.

"Sorry about that. Two of those doctors are insane." I apologised.

"What are they doing?" Saya asked, curious.

"Research on this... Infection. They're hoping to find a-"

"A cure?" Alice interrupted with a grin.

"Not quite. It's a vaccine. I think whatever this thing does is irreversible."

"How is that insane?" Saeko asked.

"That's not the insane bit. Apparently the disease I got from the scratch was a mutated form of the common cold. I'm a test subject for a research group investigating it. You guys know about the parasite thing, right? Two of those doctors are putting that thing into test subjects without the disease without any idea of what it does. They claim it'll help develop the vaccine and unlock the key to immortality."

"Crazy scientists now? This is getting more and more like some kind of movie." Kohta said.

"Pretty much." I agreed.

"How are they allowed to do this?" Saya asked.

"I don't know. Probably just volunteers since money isn't much good right now. They'll be in way too deep with this. Let's go get our things back." I grabbed the two tickets out of my pocket as we approached the cliché guarding the entrance. In my head, I decided to name him Maverick. I handed Maverick the tickets. He signaled and another soldier pulled the car up to us and opened the trunk.

"Grab your things, but this vehicle's military property. We have to keep it." The driver said. We all took what we could, leaving the gas for them too. Saya took a chocolate bar she had gotten from the gas station and began to eat it as she picked her belongings up. I grabbed bags at random and passed them back to the others. They would check who the bag belonged to and give it to them. We emptied the vehicle and Maverick pointed to the interior of the main body of the airport.

"Civilians all stay around there. Find a spot and claim it quickly. People have a habit of stealing other people's spots here." He said. I repeated this to the others and surveyed my surroundings. The runways stretched ahead of us, long and completely unlit and the main building that would have been packed just a few weeks ago now looked dead. I saw the shapes of a few people shuffling past the glass and I swore I saw a small figure in a wheelchair but when I checked again, they were gone. We walked around the side of the building, past bored soldiers and empty terminals. A few commercial planes sat on the ground, connected to the terminals never having left for their destination. We passed through the broken automatic doors being held open with cinder blocks and saw the clean tile floors and the abandoned check-in desks. Airports always felt kind of hollow to me; now that it was so empty it came across even stronger. We decided to head for a terminal we had passed on our way in, considering staying in an empty plane or something. We passed the trashed coffee shops and bookstores, passing rough sleepers in sleeping bags on the floor either side of us. I glanced at the people as I passed, lots of them evidently non-Japanese people who had been stranded here after travel was cut off. I saw a circle of people betting cigarettes and water over a game of poker in absolute silence, cut off from communication with each other by various language barriers. We reached a terminal and were about to go down it when I hesitated, seeing someone I thought I recognised out of the corner of my eye. He was a very tall and skinny man with long brown hair that reached his shoulders and a short, scruffy beard. He sported skate shoes and dressed similarly to me. He had a square jaw and a rather gaunt face with sunken cheekbones and green eyes.

"Jonah?"

"Levi?"

I hugged my brother tightly.

"Holy shit, man. I thought I'd never see you again." He said. His voice was also close to mine, but a little deeper with a stronger American accent. He knew no Japanese at all, but had made an effort to learn Korean.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. We were in the air when all this happened. Once we landed this place was already a checkpoint. We got lucky. Real lucky." Jonah explained.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to surprise you. I'd told Satomi we were coming."

"Wait a minute. Who's 'We'?" I inquired

"Lily's here too."

"No way, man!"

"Yeah, for real. We got a sweet sleeping spot on a plane. No one else is there either."

"Alright. Let me tell the others what's going on. I imagine they're a bit confused."

"Ok. This is my eldest brother, Jonah. He came over from America with my older sister Lily. They've got a place on an abandoned plane we can stay on, are you guys happy to do that?" I asked in Japanese.

"Sure."

"Yeah, that's fine."

"I'm happy to do that."

"As long as we have somewhere to stay I'm happy." Everyone agreed.

"What about Yang?" Saeko asked.

"We'll go find her and Masumi first. I guess they won't have left here." I answered.

"We're all on board. We just have two people to find first." I told Jonah.

"What about Hyun, Li and Satomi? They're around, right?" I hung my head.

"Shit. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok, you didn't know. How was everyone before you left?"

"Mom overdosed and Dad's in jail again."

"Fuck. Did she survive it?"

"Not this time."

"I can't believe it."

"She can rot. You never remembered what she let Dad do to us." He spat.

"I do. I remember more than you think anyway."

"It doesn't even cut it. They both deserve what they've got. We all should be far more fucked up than we are. You have no idea."

"You always hold it together. I'm not doing anywhere near as good as you."

"You don't know that."

"True. Can we keep this up while we try to find these people?"

"Who are you looking for?"

"A girl with bright blue hair. Kinda punk. She should be with a little girl in a wheelchair."

"I've seen them around. That little girl's so damn cute."

"I know."

"Why are you looking for her?"

"I killed her father. I told him I'd look after her, but we got separated."

"You killed her dad and you're looking after her?!"

"It's way more complicated. I'll explain later. Any idea where we might find her?"

"Not entirely, but I think I saw them sleeping in a terminal close to ours last night."

"Perfect. Can you take us there? We'll do introductions when we get on the plane."

"Yeah. Sure thing."

"Alright guys, Jonah knows where Yang is, we'll go find her and get some rest." We walked down an empty path for quite some time.

"We're down there." Jonah said, pointing towards a terminal to our left. I indicated the same thing to the others.

"I'm pretty sure they were down here." He said, looking down an empty terminal.

"Saeko! Tatsuzo!" Yang exclaimed from behind us. I turned around and saw her behind the group with Masumi holding the back of her wheelchair. They both smiled as we turned around.

"Have you been sleeping down there?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's crowded down there sometimes. It's not great for us." Masumi answered.

"Hey, the blue haired girl's really cute." Jonah commented. She didn't know what he was saying and didn't react.

"We've got a nice spot on a plane. First class is all yours." I smiled to Masumi after a brief silence. Switching through two languages was enough. Now with Yang I would have to rotate through three. Communicating was going to get pretty confusing sometimes.

"I didn't think we'd see you again." Masumi said.

"The plane crashed, I got scratched and nearly died a couple of other times and we were close to being hunted down by a madman. There were a lot of things that came close to stopping us from getting here." I said.

"Let's hope it's worth it."

"Yeah. Let's hope."

"Alright. Let's go get some rest." I said in Korean, Japanese and English. I then sighed.

"What's wrong?" Saeko asked.

"Going through all these languages isn't exactly easy, that's all."

"I know it must be difficult. You can just relax when we get on the plane." I nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks." We walked down the terminal, passing a few other survivors as we went, seeing the same things we had when we were entering. More boredom, gambling and stranded travellers. Stepping onto the grey plastic bridge that joined onto the plane I instinctively reached for Li's hand, only to realise it was never going to be there again. I tried to keep this motion casual when I became conscious of it, but Saeko had seen it and understood somehow. Her look of sorrow mirrored mine. We stepped onto the plane and the silence was like a deafening howl of wind that enveloped me. The air felt thick and the interior was dark, lit only by a lighter Jonah was holding up, giving off a weak light.

"Lily! I've brought some friends. Come out and meet them." Jonah called, breaking the silence. Lily came out from a seat in the back, holding a small pistol. She was a small, tough looking girl sporting short brown hair but a long fringe sweeping across her face to the left and covering one of her green eyes and elfin facial features. She definitely looked like she would be my sister. I watched her shock as she saw me.

"Oh my God."

"Hi, Lily." She threw herself at me for a hug almost aggressively.

"I thought you were dead for sure."

"It takes more than a few zombies to keep me down." I grinned.

"Jonah, you're such a prick. You should have told me who it was! I was ready to shoot."

"What, you really think I'd let anyone take advantage of me to get to you? I'd die first."

"Wait, are there people after you?" I asked.

"A few crazies who want the plane. Now we've got a few more hands they'll leave us alone." Lily answered, callously.

"Speaking of which, who are these guys?" Jonah asked.

"There's Yang, Masumi, Saeko, Rei, Takashi, Saya, Kohta, Shizuka, Alice and Zeke." I said, indicating to each person as I said their name.

"Guys, this is Lily and Jonah, my brother and sister." I introduced them to the others. They all exchanged smiles, but were pretty much unable to communicate to one another.

"Tatsuzo, can I talk to you for a minute?" Masumi asked.

"Sure." She led me aside, out of earshot of the others. I heard some kind of teasing going on, but ignored it.

"I don't want to bring you down, but Yang's not doing well. You knew she was terminal, right? Under normal circumstances, I'd say she has a month. With our lack of medicine, or at least medicine that can help her, I would say she has a week or two left. I just thought you should know." She said.

"I can't take it. I've lost so much already, I can't lose someone else I had promised to protect. I don't think I have it in me to go through this again. Thank you for telling me though. I know this is just as hard for you." She nodded.

"She and I became very close. I'm still grateful that you came along and found us at all, she really needed it."

"She thought we'd abandoned her, didn't she?"

"Yeah. So did I. What did happen?"

"The third plane crashed. Most of the people left in the school died. We got stuck in the city with nowhere else to go. Then an old enemy came up again, and he was ready to come after us. We found a way to get out safely. We were very lucky to get out at all, let alone with everyone in our core group alive."

"What about Takashi and Rei's parents?"

"They were in the school. We were sent out for medical supplies when the plane crashed. They didn't make it."

"They were good people, they all helped us a lot." I nodded.

"I don't think anything's been judging how good of a person you are anymore. If we got what we deserved I'd be dead and my family would be alive."

"Your family? You just found your brother and sister."

"I was adopted. My adopted family was killed; Jonah and Lily are biologically related to me. I suppose I had two families."

"What about your biological parents then?"

"My mom died of an overdose just before this. My dad was in prison again when we last heard from him."

"That's heavy. I'd probably cut myself too if I had that kind of background." She said.

"How did you know?"

"There's a look in your eye. A few friends of mine had the same thing and they cut too. And your whole forearms on both sides are bandaged identically, if you have any experience with it it's pretty obvious."

"You're the first person to notice it right away without already knowing."

"I have more experience with broken people than most. I know one when I see one. I'm a good judge of character."

"Prove it." I challenged, indignantly.

"Where should I even start?"

"Don't bother, I don't need to test you. You have nothing to prove to me. I was just teasing."

"Oh. You're bad at teasing then." She grinned.

"Good one. Let's get back to the others, before they start giving us shit."

"Why should you care?"

"Really? You're a good judge but you can't tell?"

"You don't strike me as someone who would care about what they thought. That means... Oh! You care about what one specific person would think. Got it." I nodded.

"Who is it then?" She pried.

"Work it out for yourself, it's not hard." She smiled, taking some satisfaction from her new challenge as I rejoined the others.

I approached Yang first. She seemed a little distressed since both Masumi and I had left.

"Yang, what's wrong?" I asked.

"I can't speak to the others." Yang said, glumly.

"That's ok. My brother, Jonah can speak a little bit of Korean." I said, showing Jonah to her.

"I thought you only had a sister."

"She wasn't biologically related to me. It's a little confusing to explain, but I had two families."

"How does he know Korean?"

"He learned a little so that he could speak with my other family."

"That was nice of him. Does he know Japanese too?"

"Yes it was. He doesn't know Japanese, his main language is English."

"Maybe he knows how I feel."

"I'm sure he does. I'll introduce him to you properly tomorrow morning. It's getting late, you should get some rest."

"I've been having trouble sleeping."

"Me too. What's wrong?"

"I've had a fever and I'm shaking more than usual. My back pain makes it hard to sleep." Masumi gave me a look. I realised this must have been her cancer making things worse for her.

"I'm taking some medicine for back pain too. A different kind to yours, but maybe it will help. Would you be ok to try it tonight? See if you feel better." I suggested, looking back at Masumi. She nodded as though this might be a good idea.

"I'd like to try it." Yang smiled.

"I'll go get it for you now." I said as I moved to the main body of the plane to find the medicine in one of our carrier bags full of things. I looked at some spare morphine we had from my illness. _"Maybe it could help Yang when things get really bad" _I thought. Having this thought made me feel awful. The reality of her sickness was beginning to set in for me. I couldn't handle it. I stopped for a moment and just stared at the bag I was looking through.

"Are you ok?" Alice asked, a little concerned. I nodded.

"I-I'm fine. How are you doing?" I asked, hesitantly.

"I'm ok. I like the plane. It feels safe."

"You're right. I haven't felt this safe since…" I trailed off, not wanting to remind her of the school and what she had witnessed there.

"…Since I found you guys." I finished quickly, hopefully before her mind could fill in the gap.

"What were you doing before we found you?"

"I had just come out of a long fight. I was resting before I moved on." I dodged the truthful answer.

"What were you doing with your gun?"

_"__Fuck. She doesn't give up."_ I thought to myself.

"I was checking how many bullets I had left and that it was still working."

"Why were you pointing it at yourself?"

"I had the safety on. I wanted to check the barrel was clear. Kohta's much better at that sort of thing than me. I didn't think about how that might have been a bad idea." I lied.

"Is that why Takashi stopped you?"

"Yeah, exactly. An accident while I was doing that wouldn't have been good."

"You looked the same way my dad did before he died when you spoke to me. Like you knew you were going to die." She said.

"You're observant. I was just in a lot of pain from my back, and I wasn't expecting to survive the fight. That feeling stays with you for a while before it goes away."

"Oh. I understand. It's like feeling sad. Even when the sad thing has already happened, you still feel sad for a while."

"That's exactly right. You're very mature for your age. I think you would have been good friends with my sister." I said. The similarity between them was uncanny.

"Lily? If she's like you, I like her already."

"I meant Li. She was around your age."

"Was she fun?"

"That depends on what you think is fun."

"I like…playing outside. I like animals too." She said, tilting her head to one side during her pause for thought.

"Then you would definitely think she was fun."

"Does it hurt to talk about her?"

"Yeah. But it's better than not talking about her at all."

"I don't like talking about my dad. Is that wrong?"

"No. It's not wrong; you just cope differently. It's perfectly fine to not talk about it. Sometimes it hurts too much. I understand that too."

"I miss him a lot." She sniffed, beginning to tear up

"I know. I'm sure he misses you too." I said, pulling her tiny frame into a hug. Jonah was witnessing this.

"That's adorable. She's Alice, right?" He asked. I let go of her, but she seemed reluctant.

"Yeah." Alice took off and quickly came back with the teddy bear she had taken from the mall. She tugged at the bottom of Jonah's jeans and he looked down at her as she began babbling in Japanese.

"She says that her little friend's called Jonah too." I said, responding to his quizzical look towards me.

"That's cute. Is he looking after you well?" Jonah asked. I repeated his question in Japanese for Alice and she responded. Her answer made me laugh.

"She says he is, but he sometimes steals her food and she can't trust him with candy." Jonah cracked up too.

"You don't need to worry about that with me either, but I hope I can help take care of you too." He said. I translated this again and she wrapped herself around my brother's leg. He exaggerated her weighing him down as he acted out moving around the aisle. They both laughed until Jonah remembered what he was doing.

"I have to get moving now, you! Let me go!" He exclaimed. I pried her from his leg and picked her up. I gently flicked her nose with my index finger and told her that Jonah had to do something. I grabbed the medicine and handed it to Masumi.

"Who's this?" Yang asked.

"This is Alice. She doesn't speak Korean either, but she's very funny. I think you two will get along well. You two will have to hang out tomorrow. I think it's about bedtime now." I said, relaying something similar to Alice. Masumi smiled graciously at me. She was obviously thankful for my planting the idea of bedtime in Yang's head instead of her having to do so.

"I'm not tired." They both protested, almost in unison.

"I don't care. We need you well rested." I asserted myself to each of them.

"Besides, you get a nice bed for the first time in a while tonight." I said to Yang, referring to the single bed in the business class.

"I get that?" Her eyes widened, as though I had just given her a luxurious present.

"Of course you do." I smiled.

"You stop complaining too. You're sleeping in first class from now on too. We're all stuck at the back." I said to Alice.

"I do?" She asked.

"Yep. You get a nice comfortable chair we can make into a small bed for you."

"How do you do that?"

"Here, I'll show you." I reclined the chair until it was completely flat and put the armrests up with the top of the chair. I continued to carry her in my right arm as I grabbed a few pillows and a blanket that the cabin crew would have normally doled out and used them to make the flat chair as close to a bed as I could. I handed Masumi a set for Yang's actual bed and another for her.

"Are you not taking any?" Masumi asked.

"That's the last set."

"Don't you need something to sleep on?"

"They've got different quality ones for the cheap seats. We have plenty for the rest of us back there."

"No, you take it." She tried to hand them back to me.  
"Keep it. It's wasted on me; I can sleep pretty much anywhere if I want to. A slightly nicer blanket won't make a difference, but thank you." I insisted.

"I feel bad. Give it to someone else at least." She begged.  
"Please, just keep it. Consider it a reward for having to stay with the girls through the night."

"Fine. Thank you." She said. She sounded as frustrated as she was grateful. I dropped Alice on her bed and hugged her again.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight Tatsuzo."

I passed through the curtain between the first class cabin and the main section of the plane. I took a centre row of five seats and pulled the armrests up on all of them. I grabbed a single cheap pillow and blanket and set them on the row I had just claimed. Saeko came out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but black underwear and a loose white top. I froze up a little.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. You just look really good."

"I don't! I'm not wearing makeup, my hair's a mess and I'm just wearing sleepwear."

"It's still a good look."

"You've always looked at me like this, haven't you?"

"Of course. You're amazing. You can take my breath away just by putting no effort into your appearance, like now. You've never complained about it before."

"Who said I was complaining now?" She said, walking right towards me. I backed up and fell onto the row of seats. She kept moving and sat on my stomach before she leaned down and kissed me passionately. I ran my hands along the soft material of her top and rested them exposed skin of her waist. I threw the blanket over us both and we continued to make out late into the night. Eventually, she fell asleep on top of me, her hair covering my whole face from view. It was the best night's sleep I had since one of those tired and satisfying nights right after having sex with Akira.


End file.
